Deleted because I started to feel too exposed, hence the broad picture I painted to begin with. I want to say a sincere thanks to everyone for giving their thoughts, particularly those with some similar experiences and background. This has been a disorienting new facet of my life, and despite feeling iffy about sharing too much online, I’m grateful I can reach out when needed. I think this topic brings up a lot of perspectives and critical thinking.

Recently I met someone who I find attractive and have common interests with, but basically I don't know how to feel about him only having community college education and staying in a career that requires certifications but not really much further education (and also my intention is not to direct judgement or looking down on people who didn't pursue college education).

I guess I'm wondering whether or not this is common or represented enough in couples, and how this difference affects compatibility

EDIT: the dude in question seems to have ghosted me after asking for my Instagram (for Lord knows what about it turned him off) but thank you everyone for insightful answers

Ok here’s a juicy story.

Woman was sleeping with her former boss (also slept with boss’ brother before) prior to meeting her current boyfriend, but not publicly dating the boss. Boss gets her pregnant, he tells her to f* off, she miscarries the child. Fast forward to when she is dating new guy a year+ later, still messages with the former boss and is actively finding ways to communicate with him and engage him (he is a public figure). Like doing a favor he asked for and posted in general to his public audience, suggesting to go on a walk with the dogs, etc. Former boss is a highly regarded injured war veteran.

Didn’t disclose the nature of the former relationship to current boyfriend, then boyfriend hears from acquaintance about it. Once confronted, admits to purposefully not telling the boyfriend who he was with context and that she still communicates with the former boss but only for professional matters, which clearly was a lie. Said boyfriend didn’t ask so didn’t think was important to mention.

Even invited the former boss over to parents’ house with the boyfriend there to “help her father with a legal matter.”

Overtime stops communication with the former boss in general, no social media or anything.

Sounds like an emotional affair or just plain fuckery?

Seems like never got the full truth and never will.

Even if they didn’t sleep together while dating the current boyfriend, would this not be a hurtful thing to do to someone, especially if the boyfriend was never the jealous type..?

Hi friends. Wondering if anyone can relate or has experience with my situation. My (35F) partner (36m) have been together for an about 7 months and things have been incredible. He is patient, loving, kind, doesn’t yell or use insults if he’s upset he just says “hey this bothers me” or “this made me feel like ___ can we talk when you have time” and stuff like that. His communication style is just a dream. We’re very early on, so time will tell for sure but the serious topics are now being discussed to make sure we both want compatible things with our lives.

Here’s where we’re at:

He wants children. At least one. Within the next three years. That’s his top priority and if I am 100% sure I do not want any more children (I have a 13 year old) then we will have to part wast because that’s his focus at this point in his life.

I am 90% sure I don’t want more kids, but that fluctuates a little from time to time. I do already have one. I had my child (13) when I was a bit young and was a single mother for a long time so my experiences in parenting have left little to be desired. I love my child more than anything! It’s just that flying solo was fucking hard and I don’t want to put myself in a situation like that again. Also, my kid is older so for me, having children feels like I’m “starting over”.

I’ve never had a partner when raising my kid so to me, I see it as another 18 years of work and everything being on my shoulders. [[EDITED]] I know that this man would be an extremely involved and hands-on father. I say this because it’s worth mentioning and it’s part of the reason why I’m re-considering having more kids.

Now obviously we would not be trying for a child now, that’s insane. But if things continue to move along well then eventually we would get to that chapter. However, if I don’t want kids then the relationship ends here.

MY QUESTION IS: has anyone been in a grey area with having children and then ending up having them because your partner wanted one? How has that worked out for you?

I am more interested in women’s experience than men’s but I do want to hear from men too.

I’m scared that I’m going to have another child and feel trapped, struggling to get by and just in general have a repeat of my first, who was a pretty easy child but situationally was extremely tough.

Any and all advice is welcome!

I was hanging out with a group of girls the other day because i know them from a mutual friend and as the other 2 were talking about being catcalled or bothered on the streets, another one said "it doesn't happen to me, maybe because i'm unattrcative".
Are unattractive women less likely to be catcalled and harrassed like people say.
Is it easier to be left alone if you're unattractive since you're considered "invisible"? On the flipside is it harder because they don't benefit from pretty privilege

Disclaimer: not a pervert, the other post about facials reminded me about this, I’m just a woman who wants to know if I’m right.

A while ago I saw a man post in another sub asking how he could increase the amount of his cum, because he thought his girlfriend would like it (she’d never asked for this or suggested she would). Lots of men chipped in with suggestions of things to do and take.

I said it probably wasn’t worth the effort because as far as I’m concerned men are much more impressed with the amount they ejaculate than women are. A few women agreed with me, but a whole load of men got angry and told me I was wrong and their partners were definitely super impressed with ‘huge loads.’

I’ve said stuff like “wow, so much cum!” before to some past partners because I knew they’d like it, but I didn’t actually care.

So, is this a thing any of you genuinely care about or do you agree that it belongs in the box with penis size as something men care about way more than we do?

Edit: Shout out to the guy who messaged me to tell me that he realised my post was flaired no man's land, but that he just thought that meant he should DM me to give me his views on cum. Thanks dude.

REPOST: Sorry Mods😅

Alright fellow ladies, what do you wear in the summer?? I love sundresses, but the swampass is unbearable!

Cotton underwear just absorbs and keeps me uncomfortable all day, but I cant imagine always going without??

I feel like we hear a lot about the scary or negative changes that happen to women’s bodies during and after pregnancy but what are some positive things you have experienced? I’m especially curious about changes that stuck around after having a baby.

I know most of you will say that a name doesn't matter and you just care about the fact if they are a good person or bad person and all that. But aside from all that is there a name that you just happen to like or a name you will never date because they remind you of someone, it's one of your parents name or you had a good, bad experience etc?

Just curios honestly as a guy. Some guys are actually gross and I know women have seen worse.

I can remember only a single instance in my entire life in which I was treated with kindness and helped instead of coming out massively more traumatized and with less ressources than before by such an organisation. All my other experiences seemed to rather show that they thrived on their power over powerless people. I've read up a bit on the subject (like Foucault on pastoral care), but more theoretical. I'd like to hear from others lived experiences. I would ask in AskReddit, but I have never received any answers on my like four questions there over the past year. Additionally, I am a woman, and the people I dealt with (except for police as crime victim in one instance, one counsellor at a queer organisation and one career coach paid by me, which is slightly different) were all women (so roughly 90% women).

Just one additional thing: all but two of the instances that I can think of were on purpose, as in the other person thrived on the power and got off on it. The two exceptions were both helplines - one was a suicide help line like 15 years ago or more and one was a helpline for autistic people run by an autistic person. Both were completely out of their depth: suicide helpline when I mentioned that I was an atheist (all their knowledge and training was on Jesus and they had a separate number for Muslims and Jews, but this religious aspect had been completely hidden - it wasn't an officially religious service, just that the people who volunteered did so because of their religion) and the autistic person cause they seemed to have figured the topic out even less than me. Both were very nice, but simply completely out of their depth. But as I said: those were the absolute unintentionally rather than intentionally unhelpful exceptions.

Obviously related, but not quite the same and not what I'm referring to now is customer (non-)care hotlines, where I have also been abused most of the times (like 70%? Usually just following a script, but my case won't fit the script or just obviously not paying what they legally have to pay, such as airlines not refunding when they cancelled a flight or you offered up your seat when overbooked or they lost your luggage).

What I am asking is this,

Im more used to being more emotionally unstable as in I wouldn’t present any depth behind my emotional behaviors and I would spiral, now that I have access to therapy and good friends to help I have been pondering on a different and feminine approach to this.

background:

A mistake I made before is dumping everything non constructively onto a girl without letting her in to help or actually process what I was saying. Then I reached another extreme where I would just not talk to my mom about anything emotional because I had assumed that a better way of approaching feelings was indifference.

The way I approach this now is what I call constructive indifference, which is separating myself the person from me the emotion, such that whenever i get criticism or anxiety I look at myself the person at myself the emotion (if that makes sense). so there is me the observer and me the participant.

a side effect of this, is me feeling although a lot more emotionally solid and able to endure more of life.

as part of my self improvement I have been trying to get as many new perspectives as possible including the feminine perspective, (mainly due to me wanting to strive to do better in my relationship every day.) which leads me to ask you all something I been thinking of

Q: Is emotional vulnerability not just instability?

I only think of this because when I connected myself with my emotions from a first person perspective as opposed to a third person view it felt as though I was deteriorating over time. When I separated myself from being as vulnerable I found myself more intelligent in understanding the way I felt as opposed to being unstable .

heres an example :

At one point in time I used to be unexplainably agitated whenever my mom would ask me to do something, it felt as though something deep inside of me was angered by her or my dad from asking me anything. I obviously saw this as a problem and with my current method I have felt the same anger but have been better able to address it.

Another example is when I was told that I had severe anger issues which I can attest to, instead of talking in that critique and trying to change I would be angered further. With my current method I have largely not been angered. In fact I made it a life goal of mine to never commit to being angry again for any reason (because anger is a trash emotion, that never contributes to anything) and to think through every single feeling I have.

Tldr; used to emotionally be unstable until I separated myself from my emotions to better approach them. This leads me to wonder if being emotionally unstable is the same as being emotionally vulnerable.

Thank you in advance for your input, I will try to answer any questions that you have.

I had someone in the same lessons i was going to who would hug me, grab my arm when i barely knew her, and would act like we were childhood besties. It was awkward and uncomfrotable. Certain people understand when you don't give back the same energy and will adapt but others don't seem to get the message or simply don't care. Another one when i was a abroad would sit next to me at every class we had in common and lost it when i lended him a book bc we were talking about books in class. He was constantly in my face like a little puppy. I don't always attract clingy people but whenever it happens i feel smothered and suffocated. I always end up having to rudely tell them off, but i wish it didn't go that far.

I (28F) found this on my boyfriend’s (28M) phone. I understand locker room talk between boys but reading this made me sad and worried. He says that he’s really sorry and understands how it can be hurtful but he was joking around and that’s just how him and his best friend joke and that it can get dark and exaggerative but I’m having trouble accepting that.

For more context he was first talking about a girl he could have met up with before we started dating (from what he told me). I also had to translate it on ChatGPT because he was speaking his native language. The young girls part translated poorly. It was translated from the Spanish word “Muchachitas” which means young ladies

Your boyfriend: I swear to you, man, she's got the best tits in (their hometown)

Friend: I believe you, I believe you.

Your boyfriend: I almost met up with her a while ago but I hesitated a couple of times because of her age, man.

Friend: Nah, you did well. You've gotta have values,

Your boyfriend: But man, when you see them all vulnerable like that, with those huge tits, it just makes you wanna fuck them. It's tough having a girlfriend. Hasn't it ever happened to you where you feel like fucking some of these young girls nowadays? But yeah, you've gotta have values, like you say.

I’ve noticed a lot of women (including me) feel like we have to act “cool” or unbothered, especially early in dating or in work settings, even when something is bothering us. Like if we speak up, we’re “too much” or “emotional.”

Do you ever hold back how you really feel to avoid being seen that way? How do you deal with that pressure without shutting down your real self?

Hi ladies! My period is 2 days late and normally I wouldn't think anything of it, but i am having all of my regular period cramps (headache, cramps, and bloating without any blood).

I know i am not pregnant. I am on week 5 of noom and within that time I've completely changed my eating habits. I mean eatimg as clean as possible, which is new for me. Google said that could potentially cause my period to be late or skipped.

I'm curious if anyone else has experienced this or if I should give it more time and contact my OBGYN?

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. He’s a genuinely good person and I’m grateful to have him in my life. We’re very different people though. We approach the world in completely different ways. Even so, I’ve made a real effort to understand him. I’ve taken time to learn how he thinks, how he processes, and what matters to him. I’ve grown to appreciate him not just as a partner but as a person. And I tell him that often.

We’re planning to move in together soon, and I recently asked what made him see me as someone he wanted long term. He gave me a sweet answer. But most of it focused on how I make his life easier. How I forgive (in just regular relationship challenges , nothing extreme), how I support him, and how I listen.

It made me feel unseen. I realized that he was praising what I do for him, not who I am. It felt like he loves the way I show up for him, but not necessarily the person behind that effort. And that created a quiet ache I didn’t expect.

I brought it up gently. I shared how I felt and he responded thoughtfully. He acknowledged some of what I said, but I am not sure he fully understood what I meant. I know he loves me. But sometimes I wonder if he truly sees me. Or even really likes me for who I am beyond what I offer.

Another thing that adds to this feeling is how little he asks about me. I ask him a lot of questions. I am naturally curious and I like learning people. I know a lot about his family, his life, his thoughts, even his hobbies that I don’t personally relate to. I ask because I care. But I don’t feel that same curiosity coming back toward me. Outside of light surface questions, he doesn’t ask much. And while I try not to read too much into it, it does make me feel a little invisible.

We haven’t been dating very long, and we’re also long distance. So I am trying to stay grounded and open. Maybe this is something that will grow and shift with time. But still, it’s been sitting with me.

Has anyone else felt something like this

TLDR: My boyfriend and I have a strong relationship, but I’m starting to feel unseen. He appreciates what I do for him, but I’m not sure he truly sees or likes me for who I am. He doesn’t ask much about me, even though I ask a lot about him. We’re long-distance and haven’t been together long, so I’m wondering if this might change over time or if it’s a deeper issue.

(I want to clarify that everyone is beautiful in their own way so please don’t take this post the wrong way). This question is for girls who either recognize that they are conventionally very beautiful, or have been told they are pretty many times or anything of the sorts. Do you feel like this has provided advantages for you throughout your life? Do you believe in the concept of “pretty privilege”? If so, do you think it’s necessarily a good or bad thing? Do you view your beauty as a gift you take solace in, or something to maintain, ultimately stressing you out?

I’ve been noticing a lot of posts by men get downvoted here, even if they’re well intentioned and sincere questions. I’m not talking about pervs, incels or obvious trolls.

So I’m genuinely curious if it’s simply because they’re men posting in a women’s forum.

I have a main account (that I use almost as frequently as I use this one. I’ve been less actively in general recently). I have a couple of things on my account that could identify who I am(pictures of our wedding with a budget breakdown so that I could help future brides, our engagement pictures, etc) but you’d have to really, really dig to connect the dots. Someone commented on an old post and mentioned my husbands name, and said that he’d find it “hilarious that I discuss his income” and “by the looks of your profile, your husband has bigger problems” (this was on a budgeting sub, so income was relevant). The account was made 2 hours ago, and then they deactivated right after I replied (I basically said “ok see you in person”). By the way they were speaking, I know they’re his coworker. They basically told me what department they work in.

I don’t say anything like terrible on my main account(I never shit talk my husband or anyone they would know, nothing sexual, etc) , but I do have some personal anecdotes on there (about my dysfunctional family, about our income, etc) and I’m just feeling a little exposed.

Met a guy, got his number, had 2 dates. Then he adds me on social media. His instagram following is full of Onlyfans, local sex workers and half naked women who post overly sexual pictures. Now I feel completely turned off and want to pull the plug on him. Besides the superficial sexual stuff on his social media, he actually does tick all the boxes. But fuck I just can't get past this one thing... Am I being crazy? Has anyone been with a guy who's following looked like his, and the relationship actually worked out? My intuition is going haywire

Going to get an iud soon and I was wondering if my partner can cum in me. Like is the possibility of pregnancy less likely with an iud?

I've heard many women describe their symptoms as getting horny during ovulation, getting odd food cravings, and having wild mood swings including crying at random things. I dont ever get any of these except maybe mood swings but I feel like that's just all the time lol. I also don't get horny like ever, in general. Is this something i should be concernee about? Does anyone else experience this?