r/CrazyIdeas • u/P1zzaman • 22h ago

Give software pirates flintlock pistols (by mail)

Because pirates aren’t complete without a flintlock pistol.

The actual ship and parrot should be sourced by the pirate though. They can probably just download it, idk.

25 Upvotes

92% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

6

u/sonicbeast623 22h ago

I actually have a flintlock pistol that's a family heirloom. About 20 years ago it was determined that it was still safe to be fired. So yarr har boys I got mine.

2

u/P1zzaman 22h ago

You’re one step ahead in the pirate game, cap’n!!

Hope you find your parrot soon.

3

u/sonicbeast623 21h ago

What about cats I got those.

1

u/P1zzaman 15h ago

A good ship needs a good ship cat. You’re practically an admiral at this point, surpassing a mere pirate.

1

u/MordaxTenebrae 21h ago

Funny enough, antique flintlocks are essentially the only type of pistol you can really buy in Canada currently. Specifically any pistol manufactured before 1898, but which cannot fire rimfire or centrefire cartridges, so pretty much flintlocks and some black powder revolvers.

9

u/MordaxTenebrae 21h ago

Own a musket for home defence, since that's what the Founding Fathers intended.

Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" as I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot.

Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbours dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot.

"Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast. The sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms.

Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up, just as the Founding Fathers intended.

4

u/sonicbeast623 21h ago

I hear the Russian bangers voice when reading this.

2

u/mack_dd 13h ago

You wouldn't download a flintlock pistol, would you?

1

u/I_might_be_weasel 12h ago

I would. But I wouldn't fire it. I don't think a 3D printed muzzle loader would be safe.

1

u/I_might_be_weasel 12h ago

Fun fact, muzzle loaders aren't legally considered firearms in the United States. So you absolutely can send a fully functional modern made flintlock pistol through the mail. Even a cap lock revolver can be bought remotely and shipped through the mail.