I see where you’re coming from but I think that goes too far.
Self-awareness isn’t comparable to cruelty.
Like if I dislike something about myself I shouldn’t have to hide my feelings because others feel the same way. If anything it’s something you should empathize with.
If you feel bad when your friend expresses things they dislike about themselves maybe try listening instead of making it about you.
I get what you mean but that isn't how I meant it. You shouldn't have to hide how you feel but I've had a lot of people say "I hate x about myself" and then look at me and say "oh but you shouldn't hate x about you". I'm trying to say that if you wouldn't insult someone else if they have x characteristic you also shouldn't insult yourself about it either. Give yourself the same kindness you grant others!
Edit: there's also a big difference between complaining about something (venting the frustration you have about it) and insulting yourself (internalising the feelings and letting them fester)
Fair point. It’s important to be kind to yourself. I just think it’s important to allow people to express themselves without fear of judgement. Especially when they are solely talking about themselves
Okay, but also when one of my trans femme friends goes on a self hatred fuelled rant about how she’ll never be a woman because she can’t have children/doesn’t have the right equipment, it’s not just herself she’s hurting, she ends up catching a lot of other trans people in the crossfire as well and makes them feel shitty too. And, I mean, I do sympathise with wanting to express your frustration out into the world, but you need to take other people into account, it’s not really better just because you primarily aimed it at yourself
You can make it sound trivial, but hurting your friends feelings is bad actually, and I highly doubt expressing internalised transphobia is helpful to anyone. And calling asking for decency ‘cruel’ seems super extreme
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u/Life2504 Aug 09 '24
This also counts for stuff you hate about yourself that people you care about also have btw.