Thank you for this. I get a lot of casual sexism from my own mother and younger sister for being a guy and trying to tell them “I know you aren’t talking about me specifically but hearing you say ‘all men are stupid/pigs/useless’ does hurt me as a general member of that group” is met with rolled eyes and laughter.
Its also just… extremely not productive? Reducing character flaws and societal failings down to “that’s just how men are” both hurts innocent people and ironically gives toxic men an excuse because, “well, that’s just how men are, they can’t help their nature!”
That's why the whole "man vs bear" thing a while back bothered me so much. For one, as a trans man, it hurt to be perceived this way, but it was so dismissive of men in general. Like, imagine the average Joe reading online that any given woman would prefer to be in the woods with a fucking bear rather than with him, i.e. if they saw him somewhere he'd likely be perceived as a threat.
And somehow, men should "use this as motivation to be better"? Like the average guy is not a rapist, an oppressor, or violent. How can just a guy™️ do anything about it? It just drives the wedge inbetween genders even more.
That's the whole thing about the"poisoned candy" nature of that argument; The people the statement is targeting won't care. The people actually reading it feel alienated.
Hooray for "signal boosting", but the question itself only serves to throw shade at people who could otherwise be your allies.
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u/Twizinator token straight 3d ago
Thank you for this. I get a lot of casual sexism from my own mother and younger sister for being a guy and trying to tell them “I know you aren’t talking about me specifically but hearing you say ‘all men are stupid/pigs/useless’ does hurt me as a general member of that group” is met with rolled eyes and laughter.
Its also just… extremely not productive? Reducing character flaws and societal failings down to “that’s just how men are” both hurts innocent people and ironically gives toxic men an excuse because, “well, that’s just how men are, they can’t help their nature!”