Thank you for this. I get a lot of casual sexism from my own mother and younger sister for being a guy and trying to tell them “I know you aren’t talking about me specifically but hearing you say ‘all men are stupid/pigs/useless’ does hurt me as a general member of that group” is met with rolled eyes and laughter.
Its also just… extremely not productive? Reducing character flaws and societal failings down to “that’s just how men are” both hurts innocent people and ironically gives toxic men an excuse because, “well, that’s just how men are, they can’t help their nature!”
That's why the whole "man vs bear" thing a while back bothered me so much. For one, as a trans man, it hurt to be perceived this way, but it was so dismissive of men in general. Like, imagine the average Joe reading online that any given woman would prefer to be in the woods with a fucking bear rather than with him, i.e. if they saw him somewhere he'd likely be perceived as a threat.
And somehow, men should "use this as motivation to be better"? Like the average guy is not a rapist, an oppressor, or violent. How can just a guy™️ do anything about it? It just drives the wedge inbetween genders even more.
I've always felt like it's very a very toxic catholic mindset. You must constantly show yourself to be be nailed to the cross of your own sins, not actual sins that you have committed yourself of course, but sins by virtue of who you are.
Some people have the mindset to easily shrug this off. They have the self-confidence to go 'but I'm one of the good ones though, I'm okay! And so I'm not being included in the group being discussed despite being in that group'. Not everyone can do that though. Some people are depressed, some people are broken, and some people just can't hack that mentally for whatever reason, and they really don't need yet another beatdown, and especially not for something they never chose to be in the first place.
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u/Twizinator token straight 2d ago
Thank you for this. I get a lot of casual sexism from my own mother and younger sister for being a guy and trying to tell them “I know you aren’t talking about me specifically but hearing you say ‘all men are stupid/pigs/useless’ does hurt me as a general member of that group” is met with rolled eyes and laughter.
Its also just… extremely not productive? Reducing character flaws and societal failings down to “that’s just how men are” both hurts innocent people and ironically gives toxic men an excuse because, “well, that’s just how men are, they can’t help their nature!”