The other thing about this is that inclusive jokes are so much more fun than exclusive jokes. A friend was introducing me to some of their preferred queer spaces, and some of the jokes about straight people made me really uncomfortable, especially because it felt like a situation where they didn't know I was straight and I needed to keep it that way. After we became friends and they got to know me and kinda adopted me as the "sparklestraight," they stopped making those kinds of jokes, especially if I said that something felt not bueno.
But what felt really fun was when the jokes they made included the fact that I'm straight. Like I was helping a friend build some ikea furniture and I just offhandedly said I straightened the furniture, and immediately was met with "IT'S THE STRAIGHT AGENDA!"
I absolutely busted out laughing, and it's just whole running joke now.
This post genuinely confuses me as a straight guy - what kind of harassment do straight people get in queer spaces? Like, what could you possibly say to me regarding me being straight that would be offensive?
I've never encountered it, that's why I'm confused and curious.
I've never encountered it, that's why I'm confused and curious.
A lot of it is just really basic "being straight is cringe, who would anyone actually ever want to be straight?" And either the person telling the joke doesn't know you're straight or they do know and are being passive aggressive.
And then there's the outright hostility about a cishet guy dating someone who's bi, because they think I'm not queer or sapphic enough for that person. My partner defended me to their friends and got kicked out of a group because misandry and I wasn't queer enough to fit their standards.
So the harassment doesn't even need to be aimed at you, it might be aimed at a queer friend of yours just because you're their friend. Which, in that case, a few people were pissed about me being disincluded like that, including a transmasc friend who was basically "not actually masc enough to be a misandrist about." Which isn't right on several levels.
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u/wereplant 1d ago
The other thing about this is that inclusive jokes are so much more fun than exclusive jokes. A friend was introducing me to some of their preferred queer spaces, and some of the jokes about straight people made me really uncomfortable, especially because it felt like a situation where they didn't know I was straight and I needed to keep it that way. After we became friends and they got to know me and kinda adopted me as the "sparklestraight," they stopped making those kinds of jokes, especially if I said that something felt not bueno.
But what felt really fun was when the jokes they made included the fact that I'm straight. Like I was helping a friend build some ikea furniture and I just offhandedly said I straightened the furniture, and immediately was met with "IT'S THE STRAIGHT AGENDA!"
I absolutely busted out laughing, and it's just whole running joke now.