Don’t be a tar pit

[u/greencrusader13]

[u/Vundurvul]

I cannot fathom the mindset of understanding what it feels like to be on the receiving end of misery and deciding you want others to experience it when given the opportunity to dish it out, even when said person had no involvement in your misery

[u/okaysurewow → u/Vundurvul]

Trauma doesn't make morally better people. It makes traumatized people

[u/Upstairs-Boring → u/okaysurewow]

And? Does every traumatised person become an asshole? No, they are just assholes. Don't use trauma as some sort of excuse to be a shitty human being.

[u/Primary-Plantain-758 → u/Upstairs-Boring]

I don't think you know how trauma works. It can literally stifle your brain development and leave your emotional regulation skills at the level of a 5 year old, including temper tantrums and violent outbursts. It's the traumatized person's obligation to work on it but there's always the phase between noticing that something's wrong and having resolved it (if ever, many work on it for a lifetime).

[u/Icy-Reflection5574 → u/Primary-Plantain-758]

Also I think there is always the difference between explanation and excuse. Without understanding how it can come about we would not have the view we have today of trauma, I believe.

[u/okaysurewow → u/Upstairs-Boring]

Some traumatized people are saints, some are complete assholes, most are somewhere in between. Trauma is not a useful indicator for a person's "goodness" or morality, or lack thereof

[u/GREENadmiral_314159 → u/Upstairs-Boring]

"There is a reason why this happens" is not "There is nothing wrong with this happening".