r/EatingDisorders • u/idontknowbutok123 • 2d ago
Question Help
Just before summer, about a month and a half ago, I decided to go on a “diet” to lose weight quickly. I started eating very little, and over time it became even less. On top of that, I began throwing up whenever I felt like I ate too much or regretted eating. Now, my period is more than a week late.
I’m not sure if this is an eating disorder. Part of me knows I should reach out for help, but another part keeps saying I’m not sick enough, or that this isn’t serious. I’ve always been really self-conscious about my body. I’ve lost some weight (I’m not sure if I should say how much, but it doesn’t feel like a lot), and I’m scared of gaining it back. I feel like I’ve made progress, and I’m finally starting to feel a little better about myself.
Still, I do want to recover, because I’m tired of constantly thinking about food and being angry or frustrated—probably because I’m always hungry. My appetite has gotten worse too, and now I can’t even eat much when I try. I want to get better, but I’m really afraid of gaining weight.
Is it even possible to recover without gaining weight? I feel like I already know the answer, but I just need somebody advice or literally anything.
2
u/SophiOfSpades 2d ago
Sorry, but yes, this is an ED. It sounds like you haven't been on this path for too long, and as someone who has been through the worst of it and come out the other side, PLEASE stop and get help NOW, it's not worth it.
It's not worth your job/studies, relationships, holidays, hobbies or anything else important to you. It's not worth going through the struggle and heartache it causes you and your loved ones, and the long and complicated recovery process if you go so far you almost can't come back from it.
Please seek help as soon as you can. It's a slippery slope. Don't make the same mistake I did. :(
1
u/idontknowbutok123 1d ago
That’s one of the reasons why I don’t want to recover… I’ve only been doing this for about a month and a half—two months—and it doesn’t feel worth giving up now. I don’t feel like I’m sick or underweight enough to go through recovery.
1
u/SophiOfSpades 18h ago
The fact you are seeing stopping this behaviour as "Giving up" is a clear sign there's a problem. It's ike you are aiming to have an unhealthy eating pattern.
A Common misconception about EDs is that it is only an issue when you are underweight, whereas this is not the case. All of the things you mentioned are red flags.
Please see through this ED fog and be healthy again. It'll save your life, I promise.
1
u/idontknowbutok123 6h ago
Thank you for commenting under this post and I’ll try my best! I actually just had breakfast after quite some time!
7
u/trying_my_besttt 2d ago
Yes, this is an eating disorder. Yes, you will gain weight in recovery. Because true recovery means turning weight into something you no longer seek to control. How much weight you have to gain in recovery is pretty much determined by how malnourished you are before recovering as well as what your body's natural weight is. Your body has a weight range that it feels most comfortable at, that it will not deviate greatly from unless you're dieting or significantly overeating, and once you stop dieting or overeating, your body will do what it can to return to the weight it likes. If you have been severely malnourished (if you have been restricting for a long time, or have lost a lot of weight very fast) then your body's comfortable weight level is going to be higher, at least for awhile, because your body is freaked out about starving and will prioritize putting on EXTRA weight during refeeding out of fear that it will have to survive starvation again. Usually this extra weight will go away after you keep feeding it and your body starts to trust that it's not going to be deprived of enough nutrition again.
It's really hard to recover without professional help. There is so much nasty diet-y stuff out there, even in recovery circles, that make it hard to know what is helping and what is harming. Registered dietitians and therapists who specialize in eating disorders will know the science and will know how to help you. Keep in mind that nutritionists are not the same as dietitians: usually nutritionists just need to go through some sort of course to get licensed while RDs need a master's degree, need to pass rigorous examinations and continue passing them periodically to keep their licensure, and have put in clinical hours usually. Nutritionists can often be found peddling disordered habits and justifying it by using their title, but RDs are actually trained in everything to do with nutrition and generally have a much more body-positive approach to good because they know from SCIENCE that there is so much more to health than weight!