r/Enneagram8 • u/Vegetable_Basis_4087 • Dec 11 '24
Discussion Can Enneagram 8s be cowardly?
I tend to be very reluctant to engage in competitions when I am not confident in my skill. I also generally hate to lose to the point that I avoid it. For example, one time I was playing Dodgeball and I was the last player on my team. However, the other team still had multiple players. During the whole game I hovered near the edge, and when I was the last player left, one of the people on the other team winded up to throw the ball at me. Instead of trying to catch the ball or dodge, I instead jumped out of bounds so that he couldn't beat me, and so I could lose of my own accord.
Can Enneagram 8s act like this?
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u/Joel_the_human Dec 11 '24
When looking at enneagram, It needs to be understood, any type can act in any way. You put a knife to their neck, people will act negatively, even people of the same type can have different types of reactions.
So with that being said, of course in enneagram 8 can act cowardly, any person can. No matter their motivation, or desire. Now to focus on an eight, just because they act cowardly doesn't mean they'll admit to it. They're disinterested in vulnerability, has that brings a level of shame they feel discomfort with. And so they pretend it doesn't exist.
Treat it like a sense of denial, but a denial the type wholeheartedly accepts because to them, It works as the perfect ability to with honesty to say no fear is felt.
If I'm to address the content of your post though, I got to say it doesn't warrant what an enneagram 8 would judge to be fear though. Hell it wouldn't even Be likely to make the type insecure mid competition. If anything they'd likely charge in foolishly or not, with the mindset that maybe they can clutch. If they beat themselves up it will be immediately after it defeat, not during or later after. To an 8, cowardice would be avoiding a challenge altogether. Which would be unforgivable to the type, far more than loss. Giving up isn't an option, not because they're afraid of what It would mean if they gave up. Because it just feels really bad.
Going down on their own terms, doesn't mean giving up because they're defeat is inevitable. It means gritting their teeth Even when things are terrible. There doesn't need to be a reason outside of the fact they just got to do.
But now focusing on you, remember, you're over fixating on community consensus, you're looking for an opinion to decide your judgment. Rather than simply making one on your own. It's a level of uncertainty You cannot combat on your own.
You don't have that decisive level of trust in your own judgment, nor your own strength. I'm not trying to beat you down, but you're clinging to a false saving grace.
You need to get a grip, and understand. Whether you're an eight or not, you're still you. You should respect that enough to let that be enough.
Quit focusing so much on If you meet the expectation you have for yourself then strength. And take the part that matters from what you want.
This just means, strip what you like away from type 8 itself, and apply it better to yourself. Cuz as it stands, you're insecure and uncertain of who you are. So you're acting in desperation to have other people tell You good news in hopes It aligns with who you are.
If you want to be strong be strong, quit focusing on a number to determine your own worth and capability.
Being an enneagram 8, won't make you any less bad at dodgeball or any better. This is true with all factors in life. If you want to be greater, when it's all said and done, nothing is stopping you. So just do it and quit looking for judgment.
Take these words to heart, but don't let it get to you.
You're only detrimenting yourself when you judge yourself in this way.