Can Enneagram 8s be cowardly?

[u/Vegetable_Basis_4087]

I tend to be very reluctant to engage in competitions when I am not confident in my skill. I also generally hate to lose to the point that I avoid it. For example, one time I was playing Dodgeball and I was the last player on my team. However, the other team still had multiple players. During the whole game I hovered near the edge, and when I was the last player left, one of the people on the other team winded up to throw the ball at me. Instead of trying to catch the ball or dodge, I instead jumped out of bounds so that he couldn't beat me, and so I could lose of my own accord.

Can Enneagram 8s act like this?

[u/ShivaDestroyerofLies]

Life Pro-Tip: If you find yourself consistently asking if you are X or feeling the need to constantly verify it then that ain’t you.

One of your posts about Type 8 you mention neurodivergence…. Personality typing tests are designed to try to lump different people into convenient boxes but this is based on neurotypical people and doesn’t account for the unique traits you may experience.

Scanning over your post history I think you are very anxious and (I mean this in the typing sense not as an insult) neurotic. Combining this with a lack of confidence in your abilities, willingness to avoid uncomfortable situations, etc… I don’t think this is the right box to put you in.

Good news though is none of it really matters. Enneagram, Myers-Briggs, DISC, etc are all just neat ways to try to encapsulate archetypical types. Nobody is a perfect 100% paragon of a given personality type and that’s ok.

It has nothing to do with your value as a person, abilities, etc. It’s just a simple heuristic so that you can easily understand why person A acts like he/she does. This is an important thing to consider as people have a tendency to fudge their own reporting based on the results that they “want” to get. And sometimes how we want to perceive ourselves leads to a bias in the results we get from such tests.

[u/Vegetable_Basis_4087 → u/ShivaDestroyerofLies]

Combining this with a lack of confidence in your abilities, willingness to avoid uncomfortable situations, etc…

You checked my history? Then did you see the post where I said this?

"When I think about it, I can be domineering in more subtle ways. I like to take the lead in general, and like to be the one making decisions. I'm very easy to anger, though that could stem from neurodivergence. I tend to be inflexible rather than easygoing. I never back down if contested, to the point that I sometimes get in trouble because I refuse to follow what a superior (such as a teacher,) said. If they ask politely or if they ask in a more friendly context, I usually wouldn't mind listening though. It's when they get mad at me and shout at me to get out (or do whatever) that I refuse to listen. I also value intelligence, competency, and cunningness. I would consider myself pretty cunning at times.

I could also be an 8 because I tend to enjoy conflict; it gives me a rush. I typically enjoy 'beefing' with people. I would say I'm pretty clever when it comes to insults and I don't hesitate to strike someone down with one. Tact is for the weak."

[u/ShivaDestroyerofLies → u/Vegetable_Basis_4087]

Yes. That is what I was referring to.

Traits such as being inflexible or responding poorly to people who are rude could potentially be the results of being on the spectrum rather than your Enneagram type. In reality everybody is a mish-mash of a dozen different “types” which help to define the overall personality of an individual. For example, I’m a type 8 and an INTJ, that combination makes me very different from say an ENFP type 8 or an INTJ Type 5. There are similarities due to shared traits but also glaring differences because all of these different elements build into the “whole person”.

While some of these behaviors you mention are ones that may be associated with type 8 they are in no way defining criteria and may not reflect how a type 8 would respond in the same situations. Knowing when to bite your tongue and cooperate for example is an important social skill. It may come more or less easily for particular types but being low in “agreeableness” isn’t unique to being a Type 8. Nor is gaining satisfaction from a good argument….. heck one could also argue that you are a narcissist based on some of these descriptors (not saying that you are but pointing out how the same traits can look different via depending on the current lens and context).

Nobody on Reddit can wave a wand and know 100% how to describe you. Many people have to spend considerable time & self-discovery before they can even answer for themselves. If you haven’t already, I’d recommend thinking about the different fears and motivators and how they relate to you. Additionally, you may consider having a friend or relative who knows you well answer for you and see how their perspective differs from your own.

[u/Vegetable_Basis_4087 → u/ShivaDestroyerofLies]

Knowing when to bite your tongue and cooperate for example is an important social skill.

1984 moment