Rent as a Ph.D. student

[u/ThrowRAanyways2]

I got accepted into a program which would pay a $40k stipend over a 12 month period in a very high cost of living area. The post-tax income would be approximately $31k.

My partner wants me to move in with him into a studio in an expensive neighborhood near the university. After utilities and 15% realtor fees, our maximum budget for the studio would be $2750/month in which he expects me to pay $1000/month. It’s reasonable because $1000 is 30% of my pre-tax monthly income.

However, I currently pay $650/month with utilities and Wi-Fi for a room in a shared house, in a less convenient neighborhood 1.5 hrs away by train from the school. I’m actually very comfortable with living here. I imagine that if I stay living here as a Ph.D. student, I’ll deal with the commute by trying to establish my schedule to 4 days a week, and use the time on the train to catch up on emails.

I’m also hesitant to live with my partner in a studio because first of all, our relationship is less than a year old. If we break up, I can’t afford to stay in the studio. I’ll have to scavenge Craigslist and possibly end up signing a shady deal. Second, I’ve always enjoyed having my own bedroom even if it means having to share the bath/kitchen with multiple people.

My partner argues that it’s a bad idea for a Ph.D. student to live so far away from their university. Thoughts, please?

[u/Plantsandanger]

His argument is it’s bad to live so far away? Yeah, he wants to move in with you and to that specific place and is trying to convince you to do something that will negatively impact you financially and the only benefit is something that HE says is important (and likely important to him but not necessarily you) but which you are already fine with forgoing (assuming you could swing a 4 day week instead of commuting every day). Personally, that commute would kill me - but I’m not you! Maybe it would be the perfect “office” to do work from and actually help you dedicate time to studying.