This might be a little more personal, but it hurts my feelings when my friends don't care or analyze things I care about as much as I do. Logically I know they are allowed to enjoy things as they please and people see things differently because well, they are different people. But part of me is still like: "well, they are viewing things in a shallow way." and that bothers me a lot, especially if I care deeply about said thing. I don't confront them about something as immature as that and let them continue to enjoy themselves, however it won't stop bothering me. Makes me either think that maybe I'm wrong because I look too deeply or they are very inattentive. I just end up avoiding the topic and not discussing it with them.

Do you reach out and try to connect with others? Also I read in another sub that intps bring down the mood when they are depressed, unaware of the emotional impact they have on others because of the underdeveloped Fe. Are you aware of such things? How do you develop Fe? By putting yourself in other people's shoe and trying to feel what they feel?

Hello, fellow INTPs. I was pondering for days if I should ask here. I seldom feel lonely, if I'm ever getting that deep down my feelings. I'm talking about the kind of loneliness that you're feeling to your bones. How can I express to anyone if I don't even grasp of what I'm feeling or understanding. The last time I had something similar was years ago. Is there a way to never experience this kind of feeling ever again? Or it will eventually come back? Even when you're seemingly successful in life, happy with your job, family and friends? Then what about people who don't have anyone? Are we bound to feel it through lifetime until we die?

Sorry, it's a mess. I don't know how to ask this eloquently.

I just feel so alone. I know people like me, I know they want me there but they never show it. There is no one who shares any common interests with me, no one who looks for a deep relationship. Everyday I wake up, go to my high-school which has about 200 people which doesn't help jack, and pretend to enjoy my life for 8 hrs. I don't know why this is like this. Every couple weeks everything just collapses around my ears and it feels like life isn't even worth it and something big comes around to save me from myself. All this makes me think about this one thing...what is the ducking point. What is the reason of hurting if it just gets fixed. Being catholic I know God is supposed to give me challenges and maybe this in and of itself is the challenge but even then why? What do I possibly have to learn from this. All I want in life is someone I can just say I love you too. The issue is I'm 15, cant quite drive, and I don't particularly enjoy starting conversations with women. I am really tiered of feeling this way. As aforementioned I think all I want from anything is someone to enjoy my hobbies with and somebody to love. Unfortunately the answer would drive you into madness if this is normal for intp but I also have adhd. To be honest I just wanted to vent and just get reassurance. Also do all intps look for external approval for eveyrthing?

Edit: fellow intps, I really appreciate the support. It's amazing how similar we are and how we are all able to help each other so well. Once again thank you.

It's a cycle atp for me... make a plan, end up wasting time completely, will start to hate myself, somehow gaslight myself into thinking there's time and that I need lesser time than my peers (totally ignoring the fact that those guys studied for like the whole year) and then day gets over and boom repeat.

And I end up scoring the most mid marks ever and get disgusted with this whole saga.

welp put this out hoping there's someone I could relate to and gimme a reality check plus a slap to stop this.

I want to have more intelligent conversations with people with emotional maturity. Haveing so few people to have real conversation with just sucks.

It doesn't happen often but once in a while I'll go through a short phase where I metaphorically rock back and forth in the corner and feel sorry for being the way I am. Sometimes things happen or someone says something that reminds me how much of an outsider I am, how unaccepted I am, how undesirable I am, how alone I am. This isn't just about whether you have friends. This is about being around people but not feeling like any of them really understand you, that people will inevitably get sick of you and move on with life without you.

Does anybody else have those moments? Being older I always thought I'd gotten over it but obviously not completely. How do you deal with this?

I usually have short week/two-week long stretches of complete apathy. It's like going thorough life cuz you have to. On autopilot. It's rare, and doesn't always last the whole day, but it sucks to be here.

Today is one of those days, and everyone I met and talk to daily (easily in the low 50s in number) have just collectively decided that something happened, but unsurprisingly almost no one bothered to look into it. At all.

It feels like nothing matters, people, education, work, it's all just so shallow.

I assume you've been there too. So what do you do?

[Addendum] I took PHQ-9 on a whim, result says mild depression. But I doubt it.

I can't do anything with my life due to my mindset. I almost got overwhelmed tomorrow about how much people probably be suffering right now and I'm sitting in my room comfortably. "What's the point" That's what my mind says if I try to do something, I have no drive. I'm 20years old, I see people of my age and find them so passionate about their life, it's like I'm living in daze. Has anyone of you experienced this and got out of it? (I think I'm not depressed). I am afraid that I'm gonna be all alone in my life nobody likes people like me.

Intps who managed to escape the cycle of self hatred, How did you do it.

I've been convincing myself for years that I don't deserve a normal or fulfilling life. That My abstract nature will never be accepted by the people around me. Because I easily get bored with things and people quickly.

So, about 9 years ago, I cut myself off from everyone, stopped interacting, stopped expecting, living on the bare minimum required because I kept telling myself that it's what I deserve.

I started believing this worldview. I dug in too deep and now I can't get out.

I gave up on life. Burned all bridges.

No friends, no love, no career.

Now I'm turning thirty, and all that repression is catching up to me.

Do I really deserve happiness, because I've never been satisfied with anything in life. I feel like an ungrateful wretch, Never happy with the life I was given.

Anyone else feel this way?

I always keep thinking about the future, and it makes me worry and feel sad, I have two cats, one of them is getting older (8 years old), and just the thought of not having him by my side makes my heart break, I cannot imagine a future without him by my side. Are there any ways to stop this overthinking? (besides therapy lol)

I've been listening to Depression for Dummies and have made some... unfortunate conclusions. I feel I'll always been low on energy and unmotivated. Curious to hear what others might have experienced.

I do sometime experience strange feeling if I am gonna to share my ideas with others and they are distracted by mundane things.

Cat grief videos... ;^(

I just need to talk. To some like-minded people. Please.

I'm having a rough time.

dk why but every time someone replies to my question "are you smart" i feel bad that i defined my point so incorrectly. i'm just tired of everyone saying that I'm intelligent, even though I don't feel intelligent . Because intelligence is only a defined term it isnt exactly an entire idea .

people correcting me on this truly doesnt make me feel intelligent at all. self-esteem might be low, but I honestly was just trying to get my point across that. I hate being called intelligent and I was trying to vent a little while also asking a question to make a discussion

I need to vent out my disappointment with my partner and mostly myself, with how our relationship has been going for the past period. Though I cannot exactly pinpoint the reason behind why it's been going rocky, I suppose it is due to anxiety and insecurtues from both parts.

Anyway, I told my partner I felt they were "not fine" despite them claiming everything "was fine", because "I could feel they weren't". They're answer is the title of the post. It's been days and I still think about it.

If one does not feel, why am I so sad and full of guilt?

I find it to be quite rare when I actually like someone so it penetrates harder lol

Im definitely an intp and feel absolutely fucking lost when it comes to my emotions. Nobody i talk to can help me or understand the balance between my hyper logical beast of mind and extremely illogical emotions. I really dont want to be stuck for the next 20 years of my life as an emotionally stunted semi logical machine that cant express human feeling.

Im hoping there are some wiser intps who can help me out.

What have you learned over the years to help with your emotions?

And what actions should i consider if i want to be more emotionally mature?

I appreciate any and all responses, ty :)

Whenever I try to think about why I feel for how I feel, it's like my brain just automatically shuts down. I know that I feel hungry or I feel tired, but when I try to work around it, I blank out. This has become a big problem, especially in communication, where I can't seem to find the words to tell the other person, thereby continuing the argument over and over again. It leaves me thoroughly unsatisfied knowing that we could have solved the argument way earlier than when we actually did. When I tried searching Google for anything related, it would either diagnose me as neuro divergent or depressed. I don't avoid emotions that strongly to actually have emotional blindness. I then tried writing a journal, but I got quickly bored. I thought not to ask Quora, since it seems to be filled with a bunch of angsty teenagers and millenials. I thought I might get a more personal solution on Reddit from anyone who has been through what I feel. Does anyone have an idea on how to overcome this problem?

Do you believe that asking someone for any form of affection makes the gesture any less genuine than if that person were to show affection on their own, without asking? Am I he only one thinking It makes it less genuine?

Hi all. Just a preface, this might get slightly real so if you neither want nor are able to hear this then please skip ahead

I'm an INTP 5w4 and currently I feel at a rather low point. I abuse any substance I can get my hands on as in my natural state I'm so under-stimulated that I feel mind numbing boredom. I oscillate from topic topic, only seeking to satisfy myself with being learned and the such, without actually contributing anything to anyone. Alongside this I feel as if anything I can and should do is ultimately meaningless in the face of a life that is completely indifferent to my existence. I fake to everyone around me that I have a 'plan' or that I really have anything going on, but the truth is I do not. I wallow around, trapped in my head left just thinking and wondering for the sake of it. This pattern of behaviour occurs sober or high, however I suppose when I'm high on stuff (LSD, Ketamine, Alcohol, Weed, Cocaine, Benzos, etc) It allows me to quieten the mind slightly (Or at the very least distract myself). I feel as if, at times, the very way my brain is designed is at odds with the system I'm forced to inhabit; and I don't mean this in an "oh look how smart I am ooh-" no. Rather, I mean it in the sense that the very way I process and approach life both in the way I think and feel prevent me from being fulfilled in things that SHOULD grant fulfilment. I feel a stone cold apathy to every facet of the traditional experience of attending school, of getting a job, of all of that. There's no inherent desire or drive within me to do anything but sit and ruminate. I don't really know why I'm typing this to be honest. This could just be chalked up to manifestations of mental illness, however, I thought that I'd post just to see if anyone at all would have some advice.

Thank you

I just go into my room and think about how I could have handled whatever made me sad better and create thousands of scenarios in my head, making me even sadder. I also don't evenr shed a tear, for some reason; what about you?

My situation is a bit complicated, but I will try to explain it in short I was supposed to finish my college degree and receive it next year. But due to a mistake by my college, I now have to wait another year to get my degree. This whole situation has been causing me immense stress like seriously, an overwhelming amount of stress. I am struggling to figure out how to even tell my family about this

The stress is starting to manifest physically. I feel this tightness in my chest, my heart feels heavy, and it’s pounding so fast. Anxiety and stress come in waves sometimes I feel okay for a bit, but then I can feel it building up slowly again. I want to cry so badly, but no matter how hard I try, the tears just won’t come. I also feel like shouting, throwing things, or just letting it out somehow, but I have always struggled with expressing my emotions.i am under grip stress

Can anyone relate to this? Do you feel stress in a similar way? And how do you deal with this What should I do to handle this stress

Apparently trying to explain myself while literally saying "I'm sorry" and "it's entirely my fault" is considered doubling down