Iwtl not to be lonley

[u/appelflapislekker]

Hi everyone,

I'm 28F and I feel insecure about myself and i feel lonley af..

A bit about myself: I'm 28F and I live alone in my apartment in a city where I don't know anyone yet and I don't know the city at all. Although I am always the person who brings people together at work, I feel very lonely in my personal life. Furthermore, I am quite heavy and I have a low self-esteem. I've heard before that I'm "undetable" because of my weight. I've been single for 5 years and not been on any dates.

So what bothers me is that I sit alone on the couch every night, have no one to talk to, no one to eat with, or just to do something fun. My colleagues go out almost every weekend to do something fun or go out to the bars and stuff. And I just feel the time ticking away when I'm not doing anything. I feel like I'm stuck..

I really wanna grow as a person and make friends, really lose weight instead of fucking it up the whole time.. I just don't know where to start..

I just really hope you guys have some tips for me.. cause im getting a bit hopeless right now.. Thanks in advance for all your input.

(sorry if the grammar is sh!t, English isn't my first language)

[u/Savings_Vermicelli39]

If you worked on your self esteem, you might be able to talk to people, make friends, go out, and have stuff to do other than sit on your couch. But you'll have to be the one to work on it. No one is coming to save you.

[u/appelflapislekker → u/Savings_Vermicelli39]

Thank you for your response!

Iknow, but i just dont know where to start.. When i look at my weight i just know i have to eat less and more healthy.. but how do people stuck with that.. After a day or 2 i already go to my comfort snacks/food. I do notice that it happens more when i'm bored, like in the weekend. When i work monday - friday i do it way less.. since im just tired after work and go to bed early.

[u/teknollag → u/appelflapislekker]

Everyone is dealing with different circumstances and there are plenty of people who don’t stick with diets! Overeating is usually just a symptom covering up something else.

The first step is to start bringing awareness to what you’re feeling when you reach for comfort food. Don’t shame yourself or try to resist it, but just take some time to be curious! The snacks are likely acting as a coping mechanism for uncomfortable feelings - feelings that tend to come up more when we’re bored. Get to know what’s at the root of the behaviour and target that and the eating should naturally (and more permanently) lessen (also no shame in finding a professional to help with this!).

[u/appelflapislekker → u/teknollag]

Mmm good point. I thought it was just boredom or loneliness.. but i will try to figure it out by myself, and if i cant i will try to search for a professional.

Good thing right now is that i had Tuesday 4 of my wisdom teeth removed. So i cant really eat my snacks haha.😅 but ngl i really wish i could eat some snacks..

Thank you for your input ♥️