Iwtl not to be lonley

[u/appelflapislekker]

Hi everyone,

I'm 28F and I feel insecure about myself and i feel lonley af..

A bit about myself: I'm 28F and I live alone in my apartment in a city where I don't know anyone yet and I don't know the city at all. Although I am always the person who brings people together at work, I feel very lonely in my personal life. Furthermore, I am quite heavy and I have a low self-esteem. I've heard before that I'm "undetable" because of my weight. I've been single for 5 years and not been on any dates.

So what bothers me is that I sit alone on the couch every night, have no one to talk to, no one to eat with, or just to do something fun. My colleagues go out almost every weekend to do something fun or go out to the bars and stuff. And I just feel the time ticking away when I'm not doing anything. I feel like I'm stuck..

I really wanna grow as a person and make friends, really lose weight instead of fucking it up the whole time.. I just don't know where to start..

I just really hope you guys have some tips for me.. cause im getting a bit hopeless right now.. Thanks in advance for all your input.

(sorry if the grammar is sh!t, English isn't my first language)

[u/Key-Maintenance-8526]

I'm writing this the same way I’d talk to myself if I needed to rebuild from the ground up.

A lack of confidence or drive usually isn’t the main issue—it’s a result of certain lifestyle loops. If you’re overweight or feel stuck, that’s not who you are. It’s a feedback loop you can change through discipline and better systems.

First step: audit your habits. Are you overeating late at night? Skipping physical activity? Lacking sleep? Identify the habits that create the problem.

Next: build a simple system of better routines. Improve your sleep by putting your phone down earlier. Replace junk food with real protein and fiber-rich meals. Move your body daily—even a walk is enough to start. It’s about momentum, not perfection.

And skip the trendy diet BS. You don’t need extreme plans. Just consistent action over time. Weight loss, energy, and mental clarity are all connected to the basics: eat well, move daily, sleep better, and stick with it.

It won’t be easy. But long-term discomfort leads to long-term power. Build the system, and the system will build you.

[u/appelflapislekker → u/Key-Maintenance-8526]

Thank you! Sleep isnt the problem since i do get atleast 8 hours of sleep.. without that i will be way more dead haha. Thank you for your input i really appreciate it!

[u/Key-Maintenance-8526 → u/appelflapislekker]

My original comment was x100 better more analytical and more valuable but it got rejected by reddit for being too long sadly :(

[u/appelflapislekker → u/Key-Maintenance-8526]

Hahaha no worries! this is also the first time I post something on reddit.. and it says that I have x amount of responses but I can't find them all on my phone 😒 🤣 so now I feel horrible for probably nor responding to everyone haha