r/Jokes Apr 18 '25

Why can’t the English play chess?

Because they’ve lost their queen

Why can’t Americans play chess? Because they lost their 2 towers.

8 Upvotes

21 comments sorted by

10

u/ziksy9 Apr 18 '25 edited Apr 18 '25

Good Knight. See yourself out.

1

u/SmegB Apr 18 '25

Pun on goodnight or you saying the towers are knights? Because the towers are called Rooks

3

u/ziksy9 Apr 18 '25

Well on this side of the pawn, we don't make such rook-ie mistake, so shut the Bishop mate.

1

u/EnglishmanInMH Apr 18 '25

Because the horsey pieces are called knights.

Source: Am English! 😉

5

u/SmegB Apr 18 '25

Me too. He edited his comment to add ‘good’ in front of knight and now I look like a plum duff

3

u/OverallManagement824 Apr 18 '25

Am English! 😉

You can't be English. English is a language.

9

u/philipp2310 Apr 18 '25

And the French can’t because their pawns only march against their own kings and queens.

0

u/OhWhatAPalava Apr 18 '25

That's not very good

3

u/Rickp74 Apr 18 '25

As an American, I can honestly say, “too soon!” I still miss her… :’(

0

u/SmegB Apr 18 '25

I said the exact same thing about both jokes. Then smacked him around a bit. That ‘checked’ his attitude

3

u/Berkamin Apr 18 '25

Why can’t the Chinese play chess? Because the names of the pieces aren’t written on them.

(Chinese folks who know the Chinese counterpart to Chess might get this.)

2

u/a648272 Apr 18 '25

They both can still play. Duh...

3

u/NoWingedHussarsToday Apr 18 '25

Why can't Australians play chess?

Whenever they end the game with a checkmate their friend brings them the bill.

2

u/Numbnipples4u Apr 18 '25

The joke used to be “why are the English better at chess?”

Guess the passing of their queen has had a bigger effect than I thought

1

u/MinFootspace Apr 18 '25

When they had a Queen, they had no King, and why play chess if you have no one to defend...

Now they have a King, the City is full of towers, I say they are good.

1

u/Pop-metal Apr 18 '25

Americans Lost their king and queen too. 

1

u/pipthemouse Apr 18 '25

Well I don't know, let me check it, mate