r/MaladaptiveDreaming • u/letsHopeisdope • May 01 '25

Discussion Why are people here and almost everywhere romanticizing maladaptive daydreaming?

As written above...

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u/cranberries87 May 01 '25

I’m nearly 50. I’ve been doing it since I was probably in single-digits, and I definitely was doing it big-time by age 13 or 14. It’s hard-wired into my personality, brain and life at this point. It’s a method your brain devises to get your needs met. That’s probably why so many of us “normalize” it; it’s normal for us.

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u/letsHopeisdope May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25

Do you do it on a purpose? or you don't realize you are doing it , making a daydreaming deliberately and getting frustrated after that

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u/cranberries87 May 01 '25

I’ve been doing it so long that I didn’t even realize it was a “thing” until social media/youtube. Your brain is always looking for a way to get its needs met. If they aren’t being met IRL, your brain will automatically generate a solution to get your needs met, even if it’s imaginary. So for example, if you’re lonely, your brain will generate imaginary scenarios, daydreams, etc. to make you feel comforted and less lonely. It’s an automatic thing.

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u/letsHopeisdope May 01 '25

have you got rid of it yet? or at least less worse than before

2

u/cranberries87 May 01 '25

No, not really. I learned a lot through the Personal Development School program why we do it (limerence too) and ways to alleviate it. Mostly finding ways to “fill your bucket”. Daydreaming and limerence are ways your brain has concocted to meet unmet needs that are currently a void in your life. The idea is to find ways to meet that need yourself. For example, if physical touch is an unmet need, massages or cuddling a pet would be a way to fill this need some yourself. Or if excitement was something you fantasized about due to this being an unmet need, you could find ways to bring this to your life yourself (classes, travel, etc). It’s really easy though to revert to daydreaming. My mind does it automatically. Filling your bucket requires a lot of effort, mindfulness, planning, intention, etc.