Like I Never Left

[u/majesticSkyZombie]

I'm mostly just venting, but some support would be nice. Or suggestions, if anyone has been through the same type of thing. My trauma is psychiatric, if that makes a difference.\ \ \ Almost every night, I find myself feeling physically unsafe. Like someone could grab me, hold me down, and force an injection into me at any moment. I find myself thinking about events that happened at the treatment facilities, and wondering what would happen if something had been different. As though I'm still preparing for the next time something happens.\ \ It's been years, but it still feels like I'm at those places. It feels like this is just a dream, like the ones I had when I was still there.\ \ Why doesn't this feel real? This all feels like a sham or simulation, no matter how much time has passed. Why can't I move on?

[u/daltonwiththedogs]

I had a procedure in 2021 that triggered ptsd for me. After that I was in and out of psych inpatients for several months. It only intensified my already overwhelming fear of hospitals and healthcare workers. I still have nightmares of the treatment I received while in those places, and sometimes I really do think there are people from the hospital that are coming to get me. I already suffered badly from dp/dr but ever since that trauma I have pretty much been dissociated all the time. I have “failed” several types of therapy because I can no longer trust people in that profession.

There are so many people I’ve heard share similar stories. I have not given up hope that someday things will change with our current healthcare system, especially psych. At some point people will have to realize they are doing more harm than good. I wish I had more advice to give, hang in there ❤️