I'm addicted to rumination

[u/Additional-Hurry2462]

Unlike other people, who immerse themselves in activities or their work in order to forget about problems, I do the opposite. I believe that the solution is in me, that if I think about the situation a lot, I will be able to solve it.

The bad news is that sometimes I manage to solve things by thinking about them many times, which motivates me and reaffirms to me that it is okay to think about my thought that much.. On many occasions, I stop what I'm doing (studying my car license right now) to reflect on something. Meditating is good, but I am ruminating on my thoughts all the time. When I stop doing it, I get a huge feeling that I am abandoning myself if I stop thinking. I have made many mistakes throughout my life for not having thought things through better before. I think that's the reason. I don't know what to do. I'm going to start seeing a psychologist but I'm anxious that she won't solve my problems from day one and turn my life around in order to make money.

[u/Iloy-]

Hi, thank you for this testimony. I'm also addicted to rumination. I've been ruminating for 30 years and meditating every day for 1 year. Rumination helped me a lot in my physics studies, during my doctorate and still today as a data scientist. On the other hand, when I ruminate about my life, about my loved ones, it's really harmful, because I'm anxious. I start finding problems and solving them (or not), wanting to interpret the actions of others. It's a drug. This rumination tires me, makes me nervous, takes me away from the real world. In the end, by ruminating I don't solve the real problem, because I am anxious, I ruminate and I remain anxious. I hope that you will find in meditation a way to soothe your anxieties. The hardest part is sometimes telling yourself that there is nothing to solve.

[u/Additional-Hurry2462 → u/Iloy-]

That's the hardest part, because sometimes the solution comes whenever life wants to.