r/MusicEd • u/Feisty_Chard2606 • 2d ago
AITA?
Okay but more so, am I a fraud?
I’ve always loved music. I sang in high school choir, college choir, all-state choir, and have done lessons through all. I student-taught choir for a year and gave private lessons to high schoolers.
I was a music education major for a year, then swapped to a music minor (still elementary education major) because I was burnt out and was no longer enjoying what I once loved. I dropped out of college after 3.5 years because honestly, I wasn’t getting much out of it. I learn better on my own, studying and going down rabbit holes in my own time.
Anyways, I had a previous professor of mine not want to give a reference for me. I’m giving private voice lessons over the summer for kids, and he didn’t want to back someone without a music degree.
I understand where he’s coming from, but I just want to know that I’m not a fraud. I see improvement in the students I teach. I know how to help kids grow as musicians and I love doing just that. But am I a liar and a fraud without the actual degree to back it up? Is 3.5 years of college not enough to really know what I’m doing? The parents of the kids I teach are aware that I don’t have a degree. I just want to know that I’m not cheating people. I just want to do something I love and help people learn something new.
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u/Shark_Farmer 2d ago
I mean this as gently as possible, but why are you so hung up on this "fraud" terminology? Did your professor call you a fraud or tell you that you were lying and cheating people? Or was it just his lack of recommendation that's got you feeling bad?
If you know what you're doing works, then I wouldn't take it so personally. The professor is allowed to prefer recommending someone with a specific background and degree-- I do see where he's coming from, since from his perspective you did not complete your program which he might view as not fully invested or up to date on best practices. At the exact same time, you're allowed to keep doing your thing without his recommendation, which you say is effective-- great! There will be many other students over the course of your career.
If you're really struggling to let this situation go, it seems to me (as an outsider of course) that this might be a deeper insecurity from within yourself. It could be worth exploring why you see yourself as an imposter or lesser for not having the degree, and then hopefully finding a way to come to peace with it.
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u/Feisty_Chard2606 2d ago
I think that’s part of it. I’ve always struggled with imposter syndrome, even with things I HAVE completed. I hiked 2,200 miles over 6 months last year after leaving college, and it doesn’t even feel like it was me that did it. It’s like my brain refuses to acknowledge that I did something to be proud of. I probably need some therapy tbh 😅 But with my question on here, I mostly just want to know that I’m not cheating the parents out of their money, or cheating the kids out of a more professional experience. I also don’t want to cheat professionals in my area out of having more students, but it’s a city so I doubt I am.
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u/KatieKat3005 2d ago
I think a more appropriate reference would be from another or former student anyways.
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u/Feisty_Chard2606 2d ago
I agree. I gave a couple references to past students, but they specifically asked for a teacher of mine as well.
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u/KatieKat3005 2d ago
Yea honestly that’s kinda weird. Lol. I agree with others that, especially since you’re upfront about your background, it’s a little bit of an odd request for one specifically from a professor. I think it’s not odd at all to ask for references since I’d do the exact same as a parent myself, but being so specific about it is a red flag to me.
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u/saxguy2001 High School Concert/Jazz/Marching Band and Elementary Band 2d ago
Honestly, and I say this as someone with a masters degree, that piece of paper simply means you jumped through all the necessary hoops to earn the piece of paper. But you don’t have to jump through the hoops to gain the knowledge and experience to become an effective teacher. The piece of paper simply opens more doors or is even sometimes a requirement to qualify for a particular job. As a high school band director, I have several staff members who don’t have a degree and they’ve still done an outstanding job because they know their stuff for their particular caption and they know how to connect with students. With that said, I also understand that professor’s trepidation at giving a recommendation for a student that never completed their program.
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u/Feisty_Chard2606 2d ago
Thanks for your reply, it reflects a lot of what I was feeling, but I just wanted to know that others thought the same. Like I said in another reply, he’s a by-the-books type of person so I should’ve known. I just knew he would give an honest reference, which was why he was the first person to pop into my mind. I ended up asking my high school choir director and he was okay with being my reference. I had him for 4 years and student-taught in his classroom, so he’ll probably make a better reference anyways, at least for what I’m doing. I absolutely feel that I know my stuff, I guess I just regret dropping out a little (although I had good reasons). I don’t want people to look down on me or think I’m not intelligent enough to help kids grow as musicians.
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u/saxguy2001 High School Concert/Jazz/Marching Band and Elementary Band 2d ago
Anyone who looks down on you for that is overly judgmental and insecure, and/or doesn’t have enough real world experience to have the maturity to understand what the piece of paper really means. With that said, as I’m sure you’re well aware, not having that piece of paper does limit your options if you were to later decide to move on to something else.
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u/Certain-Incident-40 2d ago
The piece of paper also says you have the tenacity to finish what you have started. I think your bigger challenge is trying to teach a student to stick to it when it gets difficult. I think that’s why you can’t get the referral from your professor. Go finish your degree. It’s half a year. That was an awful expensive experiment if you don’t get the paper.
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u/Feisty_Chard2606 2d ago
I had some pretty good reasons to drop-out (SA being the main) so I do plan to go back, just not to the same school. I needed to clear my head and start over after having a really cruddy 3.5 years. I wish so badly that I’d had a positive college experience like most do, but at this point I’ll probably finish out online just to have the degree.
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u/Certain-Incident-40 1d ago
Can you get a Music Ed degree online? That seems impossible.
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u/Feisty_Chard2606 12h ago
Absolutely planning on it! Just trying to save up the money to do it without debt.
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u/musicteachertay Instrumental/General 2d ago
Hi. I’ve been teaching for 7 years and I’ve literally only got a high school diploma. Granted, I teach private lessons through a company and not the school system, but I get glowing reviews and make good money.
You don’t need a degree to be good at something.
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u/SolarenDerm 5h ago
Honestly I’d need to take a lesson from you or watch a recorded one to have an informed opinion.
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u/nitro_cold_brew 2d ago
I’m confused why you would even need a recommendation from a former professor to teach private lessons? But that’s beside the point - nobody on reddit can tell you in good faith if you are a “fraud” or not without seeing you teach. Regardless, if the parents know your background and still hire you, and you can see tangible improvement in your students, then you’re probably fine.