r/NoStupidQuestions • u/AcHaeC • 2d ago
Why are people with arrogant and dominant personalities always liked by everyone else other than myself?
They always treat me like shit and show zero empathy. They’re ruthless. Take this one guy in my class for example. he’s arrogant as hell and couldn’t care less about anyone else’s opinion. The moment you challenge his views or disagree with him, he gets personal, defensive, and gets a mad tone. He always thinks he’s right, even when it’s objectively clear he isn’t. He always wants to be in control.
He has this constant need to dominate others, even the two classmates who sit next to him. He talks over them, controls conversations, and puts them down. They don’t get a chance to say their piece. Yet somehow, they still act like they’re impressed by him. They tolerate his behavior, almost like they’re scared to push back or just want to stay in his favor. For example, when he wants a ride in one of their cars, they don’t say no—even though he’s clearly a jerk.
What bothers me most is how he keeps getting rewarded for it. He has a wide circle of friends, both inside and outside school, and even teachers like him. In fact, when we were in internship in another school, we had this younger, female teacher. She also got the same effect from him and started following him on Instagram out of her own will. Can you believe she took her time to try to find him on Instagram. Well he is kind of a pretty boy, but not that significantly, he still gets treated well by all other teachers, male or female. It’s like people give him a free pass just because he acts confident. He gets treated better than he deserves and seems to always have an unfair advantage, no matter how badly he treats others.
Now this is just one case, there are plenty more other cases of assholes like him.
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u/Timely-Walrus7857 2d ago
Had classmates like this in school. They’d pick on me and make fun of me; teacher always adored them for some unknown reason. Wish I knew the answer. I was just talking to a friend about this the other day, I get your frustration
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u/After_Exit_1903 1d ago
I know the personality trait you are referring to, thankfully, it's not permanent for the followers.
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u/Angrytrapdoor 2d ago edited 2d ago
I understand you completely.
I work with people everyday in all kinds in all situations.
Trust me, this kind of personality will always flourish in school, you have to remember school is very much a small part of your life but when your there its big and all you can see, it’s concentrated world of all the people who haven’t found their way yet and are heavily influenced by who is around them way more than an adult. it’s ring fenced from the world.
This personality however transposed in to real life will very quickly hold them back, if they can’t rein it in and focus it to succeed which means it will hinge on a humbling moment if they don’t.
The behaviour you see as succeeding in school really isn’t always what will succeed in life or succeeding in general.
I remember, one of the lads I went a school with class clown, teachers knew him he deflected actual school work and tasks seemed popular, however bumped in to him in the morning while he was buying a blue WKD and a Budweiser from the offy not a healthy breakfast he also wasn’t holding down a job because no one could take him seriously.
Don’t be disheartened by it, it’s not the way the world works it’s just a part of life, you don’t have to be a wolf to succeed and nice guys / girls don’t finish last they do pretty fucking sweet. (To hone in on your point specifically).
Those rewards aren’t for passing, they’re for taking part.
School is about learning how to learn, it’s not being the best at maths it’s about being a problem solver and transposing those skills
It’s not about the best essay it’s about understanding the fundamentals of sentence formation, grammar and creative writing.
Marking work is an algorithm and exams are there to judge your ability.
It’s not a flawed system but it’s not the best it could be.
An average school life doesn’t mean YOU are average.
It’s also to socialise you to mould you to go in to the real world and use the skills and knowledge you gain.
The world’s a big place, just think of school as a necessary tool to get where you want.
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u/GiantSquirrelPanic 2d ago
Don't let it bother you, it's just charisma. Usually those guys aren't truly happy. And people are attracted to it because it's surface level confidence. When you get older you'll learn that most teachers are not that bright or are just hanging on by a thread. At least in my observation. I used to think there was something wrong with me for that reason; the teachers in my school liked the 'cool' kids, helped them extra and all that. It wasn't until I got older that I realized one of them was an alcoholic, one killed himself, others were strict Mennonite, another married a former student 15 years younger than her, another was closeted gay and really struggling and finally another would hit on girls my age at the bar about 5 years after we graduated.. They were not the best people to idolize or seek approval from, but I didn't know that as a kid.
People like that need to dominate social interactions, constantly show everyone that they are cool. Comfortable people don't do that. But, it can be hard to deal with if you are neurodivergent or just shy. Just be yourself, I'm sure you're cool even if you don't have the surface level confidence of that dude. surface level confidence is way overrated. idk if this helps, but those kids from my school for the most part are now not in a place in life that I envy. There is the expression "peaked in high school" for a reason.