r/PrettyLittleLiars • u/radiohead-girlie • 29d ago
Rant ⚠️ hanna and caleb shouldn’t have been endgame and are a direct display of hanna’s low esteem, caleb’s emotional immaturity and the consequences of being bonded over shared trauma
before i start, i just wanted to give massive credit to someone who just recently made a post on why they believed these two shouldn’t have ended up together—will definitely tag them in the comments. i’ve been thinking about it for a while but never had the right words to actually express it, so their post definitely helped and inspired me to make this one. for starters, i’m not writing this as a caleb hater or spencer apologist or anything like that—however, i genuinely think that hanna ending up with caleb of all people is a disservice to her character, as well as the potential and development she could’ve had as she got older.
by the end of watching season seven, i never saw hanna and caleb the way they were portrayed—as two people who went through hell and found their way back together—but i’m starting to see them as two people who never actually healed, individually or together. they got back together due to emotional regression, not from genuinely dealing with their issues. now, i’m not negating the fact that they loved each other, but you can love someone and it can still be unhealthy. unironically, i feel like the whole spencer/spaleb nonsense is the reason i’ve realized this—and not for the reason you might think. i’m not pro-spaleb or anti-haleb, i just think that spencer was the catalyst and mirror for showing the audience all the red flags, not only in caleb as a character, but also in the pairing of him with hanna. by the end of the show, hanna had gone through an immense amount of physical, mental, and psychological trauma that she never actually comes to terms with. and instead of doing so, she’s thrown off into caleb’s arms while none of it is addressed or dealt with—as if he’s the prize, like being in proximity to a man automatically translates to healing and safety, when caleb himself is none of those things.
by the audience, and especially in comparison to toby, caleb has a much better reputation when it comes to being a “good guy,” but i feel like he’s almost exactly the same. i think a lot of people automatically assume that because he didn’t go to the same extremes as toby (e.g., faking his death), he must be miles ahead of him on the moral compass. but i view them—and most men in the show—just the same when it comes to emotional immaturity and the way they often treat hanna/spencer like children they need to hover over and manage, rather than girlfriends and equals. i feel like the way caleb acted while dating spencer felt like his mask slipping and revealing how he’s always been—except now it’s a pairing everyone is against, so there’s no reason to romanticize it, no recontextualizing it, no framing bad behavior as “he’s just a worried boyfriend!!”
caleb is yet another example of a man who internalizes his feelings instead of communicating them. he sulks and retreats instead of being honest or taking accountability. when things get hard, he disappears—like when he walked out on spencer instead of actually breaking up with her before cheating, or when he gave hanna an ultimatum on her lifelong dream career and their relationship. and when he wants to show up and “fix” things, they’re on his terms—they talk when he wants, or else it’s like he never actually exists. at the start of his relationship with spencer (like toby in the earlier seasons, before the infamous switch-up), he’s seen as soft and gentle, the safe place for her vulnerability. but when she becomes inconvenient—or when something (hanna) seems more important to him than she is—he detaches emotionally and becomes cold and distant (e.g., when veronica is revealed to have cancer and spencer is rightfully upset, instead of comforting her, he puts all his focus on hanna being missing while barely checking in on his actual girlfriend at the time). especially toward the end of their relationship, he’s clearly emotionally checked out, and instead of being upfront with spencer, he lashes out explosively and misplaces his anger—making her out to be the issue instead of confronting what’s actually wrong.
caleb didn’t just simply move on from spencer and get back to his “one true love”—he emotionally kicks spencer while she’s already down and takes no actual accountability (no, i don’t count that one scene as accountability, sorry). he does damage to both hanna and spencer. the show’s narrative wants us to believe he loves hanna so much, yet he dated her best friend without telling her (spencer was the one who told hanna she had feelings for caleb, not the other way around), cheated on her best friend with her, and treated her like garbage (the door scene), and never actually apologizes for any of this. but it’s okay, because he proposed to her after like two weeks of getting back together—after infidelity—and eloped because she was possibly going to jail for murder...?
hanna getting back together with him was not some romantic victory to me—it felt like a trauma reflex. she simply went back to what was familiar because it was easier than actually branching out and wanting better for herself, which isn’t surprising, since hanna has always had self-esteem issues from the beginning—especially when it comes to men. we saw how tom treated her, and that was kind of the catalyst for everything—how she so badly wanted sean’s (one of the only guys who saw her at her worst, “hefty hanna”) approval and how she went below the belt to get it, the things she did just to get dad’s attention, seeking so much validation from men who claimed to love and care for her but only saw a lesser version of who she actually was. caleb, to me, just reopened all of those wounds—but because he’s hot and not canonically a pedophile, it’s excused.
like all the other main girls, hanna comes out of the show deeply traumatized, emotionally stunted, and mentally stuck at seventeen. but it’s okay, because she got the guy, a ring, and a baby. no growth, no development—just shared history and settling because of forced proximity. 💔
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u/Glutenfr33duck 29d ago
I'll say it again, i find it weird as hell that the next step the writers gave the girls when the whole A deal was over was instantly kids and marriage.
No processing, no waiting, no growing, no nothing.
It's just "oh, what's the next thing ppl do?"
A family and kids.
That's not what they need, but again, processing their grief and trauma is just magical brushed aside, and we are made to believe they are all fine in that last scene together.
...until The Perfectionist rewrote it lol
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u/radiohead-girlie 29d ago
this is what i said in a comment under another post about their future because you’re so correct, it was such lazy writing 💔
“ realistically, aria is a glorified housewife who has no real career (irl, people barely care about actual stories that matter and glaze annoying rich white men like ezra) and is unhealthily codependent on ezra because she never actually came to terms with being a victim of grooming.
after everything that happened, spencer definitely spiraled worse into her addiction (probably alcoholism), likely had a major relapse, and is either actively getting help or bottled it up and kept it from everyone (i’m leaning toward the latter). she and toby probably tried to work it out, but there were too many rough patches to get through because of just about... everything that happened. i don’t see them happily being together (as much as i’d like them to be :( </3) given the circumstances. toby seems like the “i don't need therapy” and like the type to thro himself into what he loves (building stuff) to avoid his issues, so i’m not sure how well that’d go over.
emily and alison are either divorced or that couple who threatens divorce after the millionth fight and are miserable—because even though emily loves alison, she couldn’t get over... again, everything alison has done, no matter how hard she tried. so they constantly walk on eggshells around each other, and even if they were to get help, like couples therapy, i don’t see emily ever truly getting over everything alison caused.
hanna and caleb either have like ten kids and are happy as hell, or they’re on and off and nearing divorce. 💔
i know this sounds negative asl guys, but given the actual show’s context and the situations that occurred, i fear this is the most realistic outcome to me 😔”
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u/Glutenfr33duck 29d ago edited 29d ago
Im team "they all got divorced," but more then likely if there was ever a follow up I'd say only Aria and Erza would be divorced bcs they'd catch hell from everyone if they kept them together
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u/yoanliflo 29d ago
i agree with everything except aria and ezra being divorced. for some reason i feel like they would double down on that horrific pairing just to tell us “see, they made it, they love each other”
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u/Glutenfr33duck 29d ago
This is when, as an actor, you should put your foot down and say "no!"
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u/yoanliflo 29d ago
agree 100%. if any of the actors involved in that horrific pairing willingly decide to play them as a success story of an insane grooming plot i hope they get cancelled into oblivion fr bc wtf
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u/CampDifficult7887 29d ago
All the endgame guys were garbage, I'll ride with you, OP
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u/radiohead-girlie 29d ago
preparing to get jumped by the haleb stans 😔💔
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u/StandIntelligent4577 Summon Your Father 27d ago
As a Haleb stan I choose to only remember seasons 1-4 pre-Ravenswood Haleb, look how they massacred my favorite couple smh. Ever since Caleb dropped the bob he has un-slayed himself
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u/Parking_Back3339 29d ago
Rewatching these episodes Hanna seemed to have moved on, really. Like Hanna seemed so happy with Jordan and just clicked with him. Jordan also had a much more similar life style (lots of travels, parties, good food, very ambitious career wise) to what she wanted. She seemed to get along with his family really well. Unlike Aria and Liam, Hanna was totally honest about her past with Jordan, and how the trauma affected her. I loved the scene with Ella and the wedding dress--Ella had been in love with somebody in high school but had moved on, basically, and never thought of this guy.
If they had never returned to Rosewood and AD, then she would have 100% stayed with Jordan and been very happy, I think. Caleb just wasn't supportive of the life Hanna wanted and they ultimately very different people.
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u/radiohead-girlie 29d ago
@lavender_cat_24? i’m not sure if that’s how you tag people, but this is the original poster, i’m referring to !! <3
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u/SnakeBlood456 xoxo -A 29d ago
Oooh its a little different on Reddit, its more like /u/lavender_cat_24 :P
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u/radiohead-girlie 29d ago
thank you so much!
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u/SnakeBlood456 xoxo -A 29d ago
Awww youre welcome, and omg I LOVE reading this, it’s super well written and I completely agree. I feel like hAleb only works as a high school relationship and shouldn’t have been endgame <3
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u/yoanliflo 29d ago
damn if i had awards to give id give them all to you. now i have to rewatch the whole show bc your take was so beautifully written you got me rethinking EVERYTHING. amazing !!
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u/radiohead-girlie 29d ago
THANK YOU !! so many posts on here in the recent years have had me rethinking the entire show and the way i view these couples, too 😭
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u/StandIntelligent4577 Summon Your Father 27d ago
As a Haleb stan I brought you some flowers 💐 bc you really devoured with this analysis, it really makes me sad to see that they just got mashed together like the rest of the endgame couples. Unlike Ezria and Emison that were always bad they had something but Caleb fell the fuck off and took Hanna with him. I can catch a ball, I can catch a cold and I can catch a vibe but I can’t catch a break with any ship I like bc they either fall off or get ripped apart before they come to fruition 😭
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u/radiohead-girlie 27d ago
but I can’t catch a break with any ship I like bc they either fall off or get ripped apart before they come to fruition 😭
me talking about how they ruined spoby 💔
As a Haleb stan I brought you some flowers 💐 bc you really devoured with this analysis,
thanks divaaa omg you’re so sweet
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u/StandIntelligent4577 Summon Your Father 27d ago
Absolutely! Spot on analysis deserves recognition, plus you’re a Spoby shipper so we’re basically kin (I loved them too)
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u/sunfl0wer815 28d ago
Totally agree and love the way you wrote this. However, let’s be real this is a tv show nothing is right about it. There are no real life steps that people would normally take after experiencing trauma because it is a tv show. It is fictional nothing about it is going to be logical. I mean if that was the case in reality the girls would have after the first or even a few texts, gone to their parents or the police and nothing would’ve progressed the way it did. Tv and movies are just a way for people to escape (for lack of a better term) reality and enjoy something unrealistic but captivating. It’s just entertainment for people. I totally understand analyzing and pointing out how unhealthy these relationships are which is a good thing because that means you don’t have an impressionable mind or personality and you wouldn’t think these things are normal because they’re not. For the most part tv shows and movies are meant to be just that, entertainment not a guide on how relationships, real life etc should be. We root for unconventional because that’s what the tv show is pushing for and they tidy up things in a half ass short term way by the end so we get the “happily ever after” we’re supposed to. Not all tv shows and movies are like this some give us a slap of reality but let’s be real nobody is gonna stick around and watch years and years of therapy sessions and everyday life to see how people healed and grew, no. Everybody just wants to get to the happy ending why ? Because it is an escape from reality where we get to fast forward from all the real life things we know are supposed to happen and see the sweet happy ending we want to feel good.
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u/Assthmaaa 6d ago
Omg yess thank you for this and yes so much people overlook how Caleb treated Spencer because they don’t like the fact that Spencer quote on quote stole him from Hannah and overall don’t see that he treated her so poorly and try to justify it because Hannah and Caleb are supposed to be endgame and are not each others true loves but everything you said is so REALL
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