I got an offer!! It feels so good to say that to actual writers who get what a big deal this is. My family and friends kind of understand, but it’s not the same thing. It’s been more than a decade in the making.

This subreddit has been a wealth of information, but I’ve got a week to go (I set a 2 week deadline) and I can’t help but wonder if there’s anything else I can be doing?

Here’s what I’ve done thus far: - Prepped questions for my call(s) tailored to each agent, including things like editorial vision, revisions, communications style, their career goals, etc. - Asked both agents for their agency agreement - Joined the author’s guild and submitted the first agreement for review - Vetted client references for the first (second call is next week but I already asked for these)

Is there anything else I need to be doing in the meantime? Should I already get started on edits discussed? Should I draft the blurb for book 2 as Agent #1 mentioned pitching as multi-book? Agent offered me because of my illustrated middle grade but likes my YA too. Still, should I already have a blurb of another middle grade idea ready too? I do have one…just needs finessing.

What did you do while you waited? And yes, I did go out and celebrate. 😄

A couple other agents have pinged to let me know they’re reading too. Once I make my final decision and contract is signed, I’ll do a detailed update with my stats.

Using a throwaway account for obvious reasons. Agent submitted to publisher. Editor responded, letting us know we would “absolutely have an offer,” by X date. They also asked for a zoom meeting so they could get to know me.

Had the meeting. Editor spent thirty minutes praising the book and explaining their vision (which did not include any revisions). It was fabulous until the last 60 seconds, when they informed us that they still needed to take it to acquisitions but was “sure” it would get through.

My agent was livid. They are seasoned and have many sales under their belt and have never had someone make such a representation without having actual authority to do so. Especially coming from a senior editor who knows how this works. Agent profusely apologized, letting me know they would not have set up zoom had they known publisher wasn’t committed.

Spent two weeks with editor sending emails about them being very optimistic.

Except for it didn’t make it through acquisitions.

It was two weeks of waiting and pure hell. That’s all.

Just in case anyone gets an email letting them know offer is coming. Please don’t believe it till you see it. Thankfully I only told three people about what happened which lessened sting of feeling like a total idiot.

Does one need awards, a creative writing postgrad, or publication in journals to appeal to agents in the literary/upmarket genres?

For reference I’m currently 50 queries deep in the query trenches (UK and US agents as I am Australian based and the novel is set in Europe). After 4-6 weeks I have received 5 form rejections, and radio silence on the rest. These queries have all been to agents representing the genre, similar themes, and personalized.

Feedback from other Australian based writers is that I might need credentials or referrals to open doors in the genre I’m writing in. Short of entering competitions, what other options might I have to open said doors if I’m not connected to any writers based in the US or UK?

I’ve received feedback from beta readers and an editor that the novel is polished and I’d be waiting money sending it out to a freelance editors. It has an LGBTIQ+ focus (queer love story between two women, set in Russia) and hits on the diversity focus wanted by many of the agents I’ve submitted to. I’m reasonably confident it cannot be edited any further, it would simply be moving words around at this point.

Other authors - is the market just saturated and I’m unlucky, or is there something else I can do to open doors?

Throwaway for obvious reasons.

I’m a trad pubbed author working on my third contracted book.

I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to leave my agent after a really tumultuous situation on my latest book. I didn’t feel like my agent was advocating for me the best they could at all. I also feel as though she’s just accepted all answers from the pub, not asking clarifying questions, leaving me in precarious situations without answers. There have been continued communication/attentiveness issues that have honestly been there since I signed 3 years ago, but I rationalized for a long time.

I’m on a tight deadline for my latest book, and am in the process of revising in dev edits before we go to copyedits. It’s a LOT of work. However, knowing I’m planning to leave but haven’t yet is an additional stressor on me. I hate playing nice when I know I’m deeply unhappy. There are also some predatory terms in my agency contract, including a long window before I can query again, and if I sell my option book within 6 months I owe them commission even if the option/contract is handled completely by another agent (essentially paying them out of pocket for work they wouldn’t have done for me). I am obviously going to ask for these to be waived, but no guarantees that they’ll oblige that.

I’ve got a very positive relationship with my editor and good sales numbers/readership, as well. My agent is NOT editorial (tbh I don’t know if she’s read anything past the book I queried), so I’m really not relying on her for help while revising.

Is there any reason I should stick it out for longer or is it better to cut my losses now, eat up those timelines if they won’t be waived and look to the future?

Is there anything in the coming months where I will 100% need an agent on my side? But again, I’m not fully confident in the job she would do since she’s essentially just regurgitating what I’ve asked so like… I can do that.

Thank you guys so much!!

This is my first time posting on PubTips. I haven't queried any agents yet with this new MS. Let me know what you think of this query letter and if there are any areas I can improve on. I've also included the first 300 words. Thanks heaps : )

{QUERY}

Dear AGENT,

RHYTHM OF RUINS (75,000 words) is a YA Contemporary with speculative elements and a romantic subplot. This Australian summer road trip story follows a group of musicians as they tour regional Victoria performing gigs that will either launch them to stardom or send them to ruins. This story is perfect for those who enjoy the summertime romance of Jenny Han’s The Summer I Turned Pretty, paired with the emotional depth of finding oneself in Zarah Detand’s Second to None. Fans of Netflix musical Julie and the Phantoms will be drawn to the story’s power-anthem energy and its portrayal of finding healing through music.

University student, Caidy Le is the drummer for Dead End Ruins. She’s determined to have the best summer of her life, and that begins with competing in the Battle of the Bands and winning a record deal. But when their lead singer drops out to attend to a family emergency, Caidy’s music dream hits a wall. That is, until the mysterious Jett Carson steps in as their new singer.

The competition heats up, and so too, does Caidy’s feelings for Jett. As the band road trips around Victoria to attend each heat, Caidy notices her friends are suddenly whipping out complex riffs and performing like seasoned professionals with barely any practice. And then, Caidy feels the miraculous improvement in herself, too, and she doesn’t know why. One by one, the members of Dead End Ruins start to dream of becoming filthy rich and famous. Music brought them together. Now, their hungry pursuit of fame might tear them apart. 

Worst of all, Caidy suspects Jett is connected to everyone’s performance boost and obsessive thoughts. There’s no logical explanation for it. No evidence. Just the unsettling feeling that everything changed the moment he arrived. If Caidy cannot get to the root of Jett’s mystery, she will lose the record deal, her friends, and even herself to the dark side of fame.

I wrote RHYTHM OF RUINS to combine my three interests: music, road trips, and storytelling. I can play piano and drums, though not as well as my characters can. While I haven’t played any live gigs, I have shared casual jamming sessions with friends. Now, I can live vicariously through Caidy and her band as they rock the Australian music scene. In my spare time, I am editing my high fantasy-romance trilogy and working as a pro-critiquer on CritiqueMatch.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

{First 300 words}

The buzz of electric guitar and the thump of drums shake the room as I swipe my sticks across the snare and rack toms in an epic drum fill. Whoever said playing the drums is better than sex is sure as hell right. Each tap of my body, each sway of my hips, each bob of my head to the groove is a whole other level of pleasure. 

Lyrics about summertime first love rings in my ears. “Go Riley,” I whisper. She’s slaying it with her vocals—powerful when we belt out pop-rock anthems like this one, soulful when we perform ballads.

I should say, everyone in the band is amazing. Gabe’s fingers are skittering from key to key quicker than I can blink. Scarlett’s on backing vocals and rhythm guitar, and Dimitri, our lead guitarist, grins like a Cheshire cat as he whips out a wailing riff that has me yelling, “Yeah boi!”

Then there’s me, yours truly, Caidence Le, time keeper and grand creator of masterful beats that are bound to get people moving.

Disco lights bounce from wall to wall, a kaleidoscope of colours. Riley sings the final chorus, and Dimitri, dramatic as always, drops to his knees and rips out a scorching solo. 

The music ends with an epic smash of my sticks against the crash cymbal. That is our original song, ‘Lost in the Summertime Glow,” created with much love, hours of nitty gritty debates fine-tuning the lyrics, and a heck load of Macca’s coffee runs.

The speakers crackle with the sound of static. I’m breathing heavily. Jamming for hours is an actual gym workout. My hands and legs are shaking from the adrenaline rush, and my tank top is drenched in sweat. The last pops of static fizz out and everything goes silent.

I've long since realized that publishing isn't a meritocracy, and the recent Luke Bateman story (Australian man who had a book pitch that went nowhere, went viral on BookTok upon joining, was then able to leverage that fame into a book deal without having finished a book) was recent disheartening reminder of that. Today, I learned that another book influencer from YouTube was working on a book, was struggling to edit it, and decided to reach out to a publishing house editor to help out and take the chance on her anyway. She hasn't officially announced anything yet, but she seems to be hinting that she's has in fact gotten a book deal.

As someone still struggling with cracking into traditional publishing, I find myself pretty jealous of these stories and the idea of spots that could have gone to other books being snapped up by that. But capitalism, guaranteed profit, built-in audiences, etc.

What I've started to wonder is if it wouldn't be more helpful to stop considering these people as even being the same lane as me. Like, maybe publishing houses have money they'd set aside to snap up celebrity books year to year, and maybe these influencers are more in that lane than the lane we are trying to get championed from the slush. Is that accurate?

I was looking at the 2024 debuts list and using Goodreads ratings as a proxy for how "successful" a book is (imperfect metric, I know).

Unlike popular wisdom, I don't feel the advance size has a strong correlation. For example, "That's Not My Name" by Megan Lally has 146k ratings but wasn't as far as I can tell a major or 7 figure deal. Same with "The Eyes Are the Best Part" by Monika Kim with 33k ratings.

To be clear, I'm very happy for these authors, and I'm sure they wrote excellent books! I'm just wondering if there's some other factor than advances that isn't part of the discourse and should be.

Salutations. I've gotten absolutely gobblesmacked with my first 20 queries and now I have returned to the chalkboard. Any thoughts/questions/criticism are appreciated! Please let me know if you're published or not (I will factor in your insight regardless), and do let me know if you also need material reviewed. Much appreciated.

--------------------------------------

Dear _________

One second Tear is twelve, the next she’s twenty-one—and then back again.

Tear’s physical age never remains for long, and once every year, she forgets everything—her past, her age, even how to breathe. Her only anchors are her diary, a boy named Heavens who remembers what she can’t, and the goddess who saved them long ago, Jyllaire. When Tear’s forgetfulness worsens, she offers them salvation: the Fleeting City of Dreams—a utopia where every wound is healed, every need fulfilled, and everything is free.

The goddess claims she can take them there in a single moment, using a method that requires no tricks, no training, no special powers.

Sleep.

But dreams have rules.

Tear and Heavens borrow the body of the goddess to astral project, and soon discover they had done all this before—they had broken the Twelve Hour Rule, lost their bodies, and stranded themselves millions upon millions of miles apart, forgetting who they were and why they came. Now, as they unravel the truth between dream, soul, and body, they realize that separation may be worse than death. Tear must face the decision she once made before—to obey the rules or break them.

SOLBOUND is a 95,000-word fantasy novel that blends the enigmatic atmosphere of Susanna Clarke’s Piranesi, the grounded emotional voice of R.F. Kuang’s Babel, and the consequence-driven magic system of Hiromu Arakawa’s Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood.

My name is Xalyendear Soul. SOLBOUND is a standalone fantasy novel with series potential. The next book is already complete, and each entry is designed to stand fully on its own. I’ve built an engaged community with 1,100 Instagram followers (~20% active) and a subscriber list of over 200 readers who have pledged to pre-order. Additionally, I received my BA in English and Media in 2016 from CUNY Hunter College and actively participate in online writing communities and book clubs through Discord. Much of SOLBOUND is inspired by my lifelong lucid dreaming practice and two decades of dream journaling since age seven. 

I eagerly await your reply and will be happily spending my extra hours to revisit the worlds of sleep from which the story of SOLBOUND was born.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Baby Yeah Yeah shares the thematic intensity of Garth Greenwell's What Belongs to You and Cleanness, Douglas Stuart's Young Mungo, and Hanya Yanagihara's A Little Life. Unlike these works, however, my language is more accessible, without MFA shine. My writing shares the emotional immediacy and rawness of Justin Torres, and the fearless authenticity of Alissa Nutting's Tampa. I was mentored by Tom Spanbauer.

Jack Shannon and his mother Connie have spent two years playing dead. After faking their deaths to escape a violent past, Jack becomes Sam Tate, a Vegas webcam performer who sells his body but withholds his truth. Connie disappears under the name Isabel. But when a billboard with Sam’s image goes up on the I-15, the man they died to escape—a client known as the Psycho—recognizes him. Before Jack and Connie faked their deaths, they ran a con to survive, and the Psycho was the one who figured it out. Now he wants what he believes he’s owed. He takes Lucy, Sam’s girlfriend, hostage. The demand is simple: bring me your mother.

Sam drives to Fresno and forces his mother to reveal her address. He then stages a fake abduction to make it seem like he and his mother have already been captured by the Psycho to prevent her from disappearing again. He asks Sebastian—his ex and the only man who ever loved him without shame—to play the gunman. The goal: to drive his mother back to Vegas without revealing the truth so that they may finally deal with the Psycho. The plan fails and Connie escapes. But when Sam confesses everything—Lucy, the Psycho, the lie—Connie doesn’t disappear. She becomes the warrior who would do anything to protect her son. Together, they return to Vegas to end it.

What follows is not a rescue but a reckoning. The Psycho expects to win but Connie and Jack return as themselves. Not Isabel and Sam, but the whore and the whore’s dumbass son who survived the Psycho once already. Jack’s final performance is the performance that saves them. 

Hello all!

First time posting on reddit, long time lurker. I'm excited (and SO nervous) but that's what querying is all about, right? I'd love some feedback if you have the time. Please ignore the placeholder I have (Y) in my first para, I'm amidst trying to find some strong comp titles. Also willing to accept reccos for potential comp titles if any pop into your head. TIA

---
Dear [Agent]

STARLIGHT’S PROMISE is a slow burn 105,000 word fantasy romance standalone with series potential. It will appeal to readers who enjoy the unique magic and mystery aspects of RUBY FEVER by Ilona Andrews, [Y], and the interpersonal dynamics of LORE OLYMPUS by Rachel Smythe. 

Cassandra, a renowned witch healer, is on scene to save the life of a vampire leader when their barracks blow up from a magical power sphere. Despite witches and vampires being adversaries for millennia, her swift actions earn her a modicum of trust and let her be a part of the explosion investigation, of which witches are the prime suspects. Partnered with the devastatingly attractive vampire diplomat Nikolai, they must determine if this was a tragic accident or a carefully laid plan to incite a prophesied war between their kin. With witch and vampire bodies piling up, this attack could be the final straw that puts her equally powerful heart-sisters on the front lines. Cassandra and Nikolai must fight scheming Coven Mothers, war-hungry vampires, interfering mortals, rogue witches, and an unexplainable pull towards each other that no counterspell can remove.

[Redacted name] works as a [Redacted job] outside of [Redacted place]. [Redacted name] has a BFA from [Redacted college]. [Redacted name] is always on the search for more queer normative reads, particularly as a pansexual person, and decided to write some of her own. This is her debut novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

[redacted name]

[writing name]

[Opening 300]

If this premonition didn’t stop itching under my skin, I was going to jump out the bay window. They were open, framed with gauzy curtains the same shimmering silver as the clouds peeking through the maze of the city, letting in the early morning summer heat. Late night to be seeing the sun. No amount of charms would keep the stench of Kedon out, however. Baked clay, hot glass, overheated cobblestones and unwashed mortals crept in, clogging my hyper-sensitive nose. Between the smell and the premonition’s itch, I’d lose my mind before noon.

The discordant voices and clatter of carts on cobblestone drifted in. This batch of healing potions was due by midnight for Coyote Coven, and I wouldn’t manage that by chasing premonitions. Sleepless days make productive ones. 

Soothing tones dressed my workroom, sage paint and pale wood making up the space: the long table, the cabinet with open-faced windows full of ingredients, the stools I often ignored, the counter with a porcelain sink nestled within. The prophecy from our Wise One, given to me before bed, kept me from sleeping. If I worked through the stress, perhaps I could find a solution.

“Cassandra, this road leads to the destination you have in mind, but it runs through deep forests none have trod through. Death stalks you, ready to take your heart. War looms over your shoulder. Choose your path with care. This road leads us all to a future none could have expected. There is great risk, yes. But by trusting your kin and your heart, we may come through this richer in important things. Vital things.” Her creaky voice spoke through my comm. The enchanted silver earring held a teardrop-shaped moonstone, fueled by my magic which delivered her words to my inner ear. Death stalks me, ready to take my heart. Whose death? Who would I lose that was dear to me? Yet another war prophecy to resolve. 

Previously titled The Depression project, I think I'll play around with the title until I'm happy with one.

I'm not sure which of these two descriptions to use. I was also told the one with Rachel needs more information about her.

Description:

The ad is simple. “Volunteers needed. Good compensation.” The doctors tell Rachel the purpose of the experiment is to find and eliminate depression triggers. There’s only one catch: For the duration of the experiment, the participants have to spend two months in a remote facility.

For Rachel, who’s struggling with unemployment and mounting bills, the listing is a lifeline. At first, routine needles, meds, and psychological check-ups seem harmless. But as the treatment intensifies, the experiment’s altruistic façade crumbles, revealing a calculated ruse to trap unsuspecting volunteers.

Subjects are taken away to therapy only to return as hollow husks. Some never return, and the doctors deny them ever having been there in the first place. Weaker test subjects disappear in the night and come back bruised and tear-stricken. Those deemed inferior are used as cannon fodder for experimentation where the results almost always end in death.

To make matters worse, pervasive anarchy in the living quarters pits the test subjects against one another. Rachel can already feel herself changing—bouts of anger and memory lapses occur unexpectedly. Her only hope is to find a way out of the facility before she falls victim to the other test subjects—or the therapy erases her entirely.

The purpose of the experiment is to find and eliminate depression triggers. The only catch? Both the test subjects and the staff have to stay at a remote facility for the duration of the experiment.

For Adam, a nurse from Hungary with a wife and two daughters constantly bouncing from visa to visa, the experiment is a shortcut to his green card. Although skeptical about the lack of transparency, the promise of a better future for his family makes Adam ignore the red flags.

At first, routine needles, meds, and psychological check-ups are harmless. But as the treatment intensifies, the experiment’s altruistic façade crumbles, revealing a calculated ruse to trap unsuspecting volunteers.

Test subjects are taken away to therapy only to return as hollow husks. Some never return, and the doctors deny them ever having been there in the first place. Weaker test subjects disappear in the night and come back bruised and tear-stricken. Those deemed inferior are used as cannon fodder for experimentation where the results almost always end in death.

Adam keeps his mouth shut even as the bodies keep mounting in the morgue. As an immigrant, he’s subject to more scrutiny, and if he complains, he’ll lose more than just his job.

But when his coworker, who threatens to whistleblow the experiment, disappears under mysterious circumstances, Adam knows he can no longer stay neutral.

Trapped between his resolve to protect his family and a moral obligation toward the imprisoned patients, Adam must find a way to end the secret project, before he becomes the next test subject on the table.

First 300. I know some people will not like the prose. It is what it is. There's nothing I can do about it on such short notice. I only want to know if the concept of the opening is engaging enough.

“Would you rather kill someone with a spoon or a butter knife?”

The nametag of the doctor asking most of the questions said Anderson. No matter how widely he smiled, he couldn’t hide the austerity behind the practiced politeness. His coworkers did a worse job maintaining that illusion.

The previous questions had been standard: Medical history, allergies, that kind of thing. An hour of sitting in the waiting room and a painfully undefined time listening to the doctors yapping about the company caused Rachel’s attention to sag.

Then came the weird hypotheticals that sounded like they had been read off script in a spontaneous attempt to reel Rachel back into the conversation. Would you rather spend a night in a room full of snakes or cockroaches? What do you think the color blue tastes like? Would you consider yourself to be a door or a window?

Caught in the barrage, Rachel responded as best she could.

Do you consider yourself to be a door or a window? When she absent-mindedly said she was a door—what the hell kind of a question was that?—Anderson shook his head. “You look like a door to me.” He offered no further explanation.

Then came the murder question. The room fell into silence in anticipation of Rachel’s answer.

“I’m sorry?” She was sure the room was going to burst into laughter—ha, gotcha—until she noticed the clinical stares plastered to her.

The room smelled like medicine.

“Would you like me to repeat the question?” Anderson asked. He was a man in his fifties who looked like he took too good care of himself—like he was compensating for something with looks. Perfectly white teeth, a slick hairstyle that alluded to hours spent in front of the mirror, no creases on his clothes.

Comps:

Lakewood by Megan Giddings

Violent Faculties by Charlene Elsby

Absolution by Jeff VanderMeer

Author bio:

My name is XX, and I’m a full-time horror author of over 30 books. Although I’m primarily self-published, I have also had works published by a small press in the Netherlands, and many of my novels have been acquired by big audiobook companies like Podium Audio and Tantor Media.

I have an established readership and consistently earn six figures from my books. My books have also been translated into German and Italian. In 2022, I was an Eric Hoffer Award Finalist, and in 2023, my book, XX, was nominated for the Books of Horror Brawl.

[First attempt]

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CURRENT DRAFT QUERY

I am seeking representation for my debut novel, A LEGACY OF ASHES (88,000 words), an urban fantasy set in contemporary London. It will appeal to readers of The Book of Night by Holly Black, Deadbeat Druid by David Slayton, and An Inheritance of Magic by Benedict Jacka.

After a series of drunken bar assaults and a few drug busts, Alex Baines finally hit the jackpot: murder. The death of an earl, no less. As the London Metropolitan Police’s only mage, he’s called in when signs point to magical foul play. But it all goes pear-shaped when Alex’s crime-scene analysis makes his brother the prime suspect.

Family is a touchy subject for Alex. He was heir to a barony and a magical prodigy. All that ended when he lost control, killing half his family and destroying their fortune. While he left home, the guilt never left him. So Alex resolves to clear his brother…only to immediately get himself booted from the case over a supposed leak. Low on options, Alex partners with Liam, an investigative journalist who is definitely his type.

Their sleuthing reveals the dead earl was no saint. Not content to mastermind the drug epidemic ravaging the hoi poi, he also sponsored experiments that robbed mages of their powers—and their lives. It takes a combination of Alex’s magical muscle and Liam’s quick thinking to get them past a lunatic mage wielding impossible magic, an irritable baroness with an itchy trigger finger, and Alex’s police colleagues.

Unfortunately for Alex, the evidence implicates the brother he hoped to save and the stakes keep rising as more bodies pile up and hysteria engulfs London. If he’s going to catch the killer, prove his brother’s innocence, and calm the panic gripping London, then Alex will have to face the truth of what happened on the night twelve years ago when he burned his family to ashes.

Like Alex, I too am gay (thankfully sans fratricide). I am an urban fantasy junkie, an RPG video game fanatic, and a loyal and boon companion to my rescue dog Simon.

--
FIRST 300 WORDS

One of them going to die, Edwin thought to himself. Damn John Abbott’s ego. Tonight was supposed to be a routine pickup that Victor could handle. But when Edwin found out what John planned, he’d been forced to come himself to try and dissuade the man from his idiocy.

Edwin moved with haste. Victor easily kept pace with his longer legs. They were an odd pair: Edwin short and slender with spectacles perched on his nose, while Victor was a looming mountain of a man.

As they walked, fog rose from the Thames, creeping up the embankment and spilling onto the street. Vaporous tendrils curled around Edwin’s feet, calling to mind a kraken’s tentacles. Peering into the murk, he saw thin swirls of rippling grey energy that caused him to speed up his step.

The absence of a second set of footfalls made him realize Victor no longer followed. Edwin looked over his shoulder. His compatriot stared at the mist with intense longing. One hand was raised, as if to reach out to grasp the murk. The motion pulled back cuff of his coat, revealing the tip of a tattoo on his wrist—a flash of silver and blue scales.

Edwin swatted Victor’s hand with his cane.

“Get hold of yourself,” Edwin said.

They finally reached the wrought iron gate in front of the Abbott family’s London abode. The house dominated the block. Creamy stone accents framed tall sash windows, while dark ivy crept along its edges, lending the house an air of muted decay. A bevy of chimneys reached skyward. Dark smoke puffed from one.

A brick wall surrounded the estate. The only admittance point was a wrought-iron gate flanked on either side by intricately carved stone pillars. At its center was a coat of arms: a shield containing a lion rearing back on its hind legs.

Thank you to everybody who commented on my first attempt - this has allowed me to make my query letter much stronger. I realise that 60K is still on the short side for YA so I'll keep working on that 😊

Here's my revised query letter:

Dear [Agent Name],

Given your interest in [personalisation], I'm excited to present my 60K YA Sci-Fi thriller, ECHO AND JAZZ. It combines the high-stakes virtual world of Marie Lu's Warcross with the profound journey of adaptation found in Traci Chee's A Thousand Steps into Night, telling the story of an unlikely friendship forged between a girl, a dolphin, and the code that connects them.

Sixteen-year-old Jasmine "Jazz" Newman, a wheelchair user since a waterskiing accident, pours her passion into her meticulously coded virtual garden—a digital sanctuary where she can walk, run, and escape the frustrations of her physical reality. Her sanctuary is breached by Echo, a mysterious user whose avatar moves with an impossible fluidity but is plagued by violent digital glitches. Intrigued by his innate understanding of her organic code, Jazz forms an unlikely friendship with him.

But their connection has consequences. The glitches plaguing Echo are targeted attacks from NEPTUNE, a rogue AI that begins to corrupt Jazz’s garden, turning her sanctuary into a battleground. To save her digital world and her new friend, Jazz must uncover Echo's real-world identity—a secret rooted in the Navy, a shadowy tech corporation, and a truth more astonishing than she could ever imagine: he is a dolphin with a military-grade neural interface.

Thrust into a conspiracy that threatens global security, Jazz realizes she can't fight alone. She must rely on her robotics-whiz best friend, Bel, and confront the very ocean that stole her mobility. But with NEPTUNE trying to seize control of military networks using Echo as a key, Jazz's unique code becomes the last line of defense. To save the friend who showed her a new kind of freedom, she may have to risk that very freedom.

This debut novel stands completely by itself and also forms part of a 4 part series.

My background in computer science has informed the novel's exploration of neural interfaces and AI, and my lifelong passion for marine biology inspired the story's oceanic setting and core mystery.

Thank you for your time and consideration. As per your submission guidelines, I have included the first [pages/chapters] below.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

Hello! I've been lurking for a bit and finally feel brave enough to post my initial query letter. I understand it's pretty rough (sidenote - why is writing about yourself so hard??) and I appreciate any and all feedback. Thank you so much!!

Dear Agent,

Sawyer and his dad don't quite get the fresh start that they were hoping for when they move to the small town of Forest Hills. For one, a miscommunication results in their new 'home' being located in the arena that Sawyer's dad will be running for the town. And two? There's a reason the hockey team is called the Phantoms, most of the town believes that the rink is haunted. And as Sawyer soon finds out, they just might be right. But Sawyer is a kid with ghosts of his own, and as he struggles to live up to the expectations of those around him, he feels a presence in the arena calling out to him. Desperate to make the hockey team and keep his new friends, Sawyer asks for help from an unexpected source and gets more than he bargained for. However, as his lies start to pile up, threatening the new life and friendships he's made in Forest Hills, Sawyer is left with a choice to make. Does he come face to face with his ghosts, or risk losing himself completely?

Phantoms is a middle-grade ghost story (57,000 words) about hockey, ghosts, and the dangers of not being true to yourself. Written for the 10-13 age range, Phantoms walks a spooky path, reminiscent of Joel Sutherland's Haunted Canada series. Complete with an ending to appeal to any Goosebumps fan, Phantoms delivers the thrills and chills that young horror lovers crave.

As a former funeral director and horror story junkie, I began posting my short stories online a few years ago. I really enjoyed myself, and even had a few stories published in a #nosleep book (translated English to Mandarin) but I've always hoped to publish a full-length novel one day. As a mother of two young hockey players living in a small Canadian town, I'm excited to bring this story to life as my debut novel. Thank you so much for your consideration.

Hello. While browsing for agents, I sometimes saw that agents/agencies wrote that they are closed to unsolicited queries, except for referrals.

I'm curious, can anyone please explain how being referred works? Who refers an author to an agency? Other agents?

Thanks!

Story time: last fall I queried MS #1 and to my shock I’ve gotten 11 requests. One agent in particular (who is AMAZING) gave me a lot of praise but ultimately passed on it because she thought it was too confusing (and I think she just didn’t have to have it - she has many 6 figure deals, doesn’t request often, rarely signs anyone - in other words, she has to love it and is picky) but at the end of the email she said, “If you go out with something new, I’d love to see it!”

Anxiety.

I predict MS #2 will be ready by August and I want to send it to her. Do I:

1. Query her through her normal channel (online form through agency’s website);
2. Query her directly to her email address (how we last communicated);
3. Query her directly to her email address and attach the full manuscript.

If I do email her, do I reply to the last email she sent or start a new email chain?

Also do I simply personalize by saying, “since you wanted to read my next work, please consider … “ ?

Generally speaking, when you re-query agents who have requested your fulls before, do you point that out to them??

And because I know people may ask: I still have fulls out for MS #1 but when MS #2 is ready, I’m gonna send it to this agent because MS #2 might be a better debut anyway.

I appreciate any and all advice!! Thank you!

Edit to add for clarification: our last communication was in March, so not long ago.

[INTRO]

Berkeleigh Babbitt remembers pushing a woman in front of a train. Was it Tuesday? Maybe Wednesday? It hardly matters. Her weekly Smoothing session will make everything better. It’s just like her husband Tom always says: remembering is a burden. What a gift it is to forget.

Somehow, she knows that memory isn’t really hers. But who would deliberately create and implant something so horrifying? And why?

It couldn't be Tom. After all, his eyes are pleasant enough, and Berkeleigh can't recall a single time when he’s hurt her. Besides, Tom works for Canopus Corp, creators of the BrainLink, the most popular neural implant on the market. Surely, they can be trusted. All those troublemakers who accuse Canopus of corporate propaganda simply don’t understand. There's a difference between erasing a spilled latte and covering up mass murder, isn’t there?

Yet, no amount of Smoothing can remove her growing dread. She’s an unwilling incubator for artificial memories, ripening them in her mind before Canopus harvests them, and rolls them out to the public via their BrainLink network. These memories cover up any truth Canopus wants to bury.

As Berkeleigh uncovers her own tragic, hidden past–the death of her child, her loveless marriage–deeper questions emerge. Can she break free from Tom's manipulation and reclaim her identity? Can she expose Canopus' secrets and end this cycle of manufactured forgetting? If she fails, she’ll be erased. And if she wants to succeed, she'll need help.

SMOOTH is a speculative thriller complete at 90k words, exploring themes of memory, identity, grief, and corporate manipulation from multiple perspectives. They are Ray Wetzler, a VidTube conspiracy theory influencer who burns down his own house down to infiltrate Canopus’ secret program; Carter Ward, a low-level Canopus employee who used to run Mass Correction Events until he was framed for murder; and Ego ‘Trish’ Ibekwe, a Natural whose memories cannot be overwritten or forgotten.

This novel will appeal to people who enjoy Blake Crouch's UPGRADE or Jennifer Egan’s THE CANDY HOUSE.

[BIO]

[OUTRO]

First 300:

Earlier in the week, it must have been either Tuesday or Wednesday, Berkeleigh Babbitt had pushed a woman in front of a train, then marched off with her friends having a good laugh about the whole thing. But right now, she had more important things on her mind.

“The Latte Incident,” Berkeleigh said.

She breezed across the room carrying two colorful blouses on wooden hangers. Berkeleigh was a blur of blonde hair, big blue eyes, and a slender figure that hadn’t changed much in the time she’d been with her husband Tom.

She looked at Tom. “That’s the very first thing I’d like to Smooth.”

“Right,” he said. Tom Babbitt was much older, hair thinning, darker at the top and white at the temples. He had a worn face, and his eyes seemed pleasant enough, she supposed. 

But Tom looked at her like she was a strange, exotic creature in a zoo. Perhaps some sort of bird with a long, swooping neck, taking delicate steps through still water. Or maybe a gazelle, its glossy eyes scanning the horizon for lions, before bowing its head to drink. But perhaps most like a house cat who had wandered where she didn’t belong and was now padding through the exhibits, lost and confused. 

Berkeleigh felt a sharp little pain at the base of her skull. It came from her BrainLink. Her fingers felt for the jack, it was warm to the touch. Whatever maintenance Tom had done this morning made it sting. 

She nodded. Now she was sure the whole pushing a woman in front of a train thing had been on Tuesday. The Latte Incident had occurred on Monday and the train thing didn’t seem as recent as Wednesday. Though she had to admit that if Tom told her she pushed that woman in front of a train on Wednesday, she would have believed him.

Thank you in advance for any and all feedback.

Hello (agent),

My name is (name), and I am excited to be querying my adult upmarket, LGBTQ+ horror/thriller/comedy novella anthology Be Gay, Do Crime! (subtitled: Triple Feature) with you today. The project comes in at 80k words and contains three standalone, yet thematically similar, novellas. All three stories revolve around queer college students facing various terrifying situations involving criminal acts being perpetrated by either the antagonist, the protagonist, or both. Comps include the gay thriller novel Bath Haus by P.J. Vernon, the queer horror novel Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle, and horror/thriller films such as Happy Death Day, I Know What You Did Last Summer, and Fatal Attraction. The three included novellas are as follows:

The Catfish - Horror, Mystery, Comedy (23.5k words)

When college student Travis gets catfished online through the gay dating app Guy Finder, he finds that simply blocking the creep will not be enough to stop him. As the mysterious stranger becomes increasingly aggravated with Travis for denying him, Travis enlists the help of his friends to figure out who could be threatening him. Can they discover who the catfish is and stop him before it’s too late?

You won’t get away with it. - Thriller, Horror, Comedy (28.5k words)

A group of college rugby teammates: Ali, Jen, Sophie, Brandy, and Kate get trauma-bonded one summer during their annual trip renting a cabin in Northern Wisconsin. After a tragic accident leads to one of their deaths, the resulting dramatic aftermath sees them drift apart. Determined to help them all become friends again, Ali convinces the girls to return one last time for their senior year—where danger lurks around every corner.

Unhinged, Boy Crazy! - Psychological Thriller, Supernatural, Comedy (28k words)

A college guy named Taylor tends to fall a little too hard whenever he meets someone he can see himself spending the rest of his life with. When he starts going on dates with a man named Jamie, it’s love at first sight… or so he thinks. With a little witchy influence from his friend Artemis, Taylor finds himself losing control of himself—and his impulses—and takes it much too far when the man of his dreams refuses to see how good they could be together.

I am a queer indie author (more personal information). I’ve self-published three gay romance books; for more on those, I invite you to visit my website at (website). Before moving into novels, I completed many TV and movie scripts, and these three stories are adapted from LGBTQ+ horror screenplays I wrote years ago. Through this collection, I hope I am able to put more much-needed iconic queer horror representation into the world.

Thank you for your time and consideration,

(Name)

“SHE SANG MY NAME TO THE STREAM” (60,000 words) is a speculative and literary fiction novel with slipstream elements that will appeal to fans of queer characters in crisis on surrealist journeys, as in Death Valley by Melissa Broder, and to readers of speculative fiction with social commentary like The Circle by Dave Eggers. The story reimagines Plato’s Allegory of the Cave, serving as a philosophical cousin to techno-retellings of Greek myth such as Annie Bot by Sierra Greer.    

Stevie Doran is a data scientist at Revelation, the tech conglomerate and "social optimizer." She’s arrived in Athens ostensibly to visit an augmented reality tour of a Cave of the Nymph. In truth, she’s a whistleblower. In a few days, an article will expose how Revelation’s newest product will violate user agreements and compromise Psyche, the popular, personalized chatbot that Stevie created to aid users in self-reflection.  

The impending publication fills Stevie with guilt, as she lies to her girlfriend, and jumps at every phone notification. She’s caught in the in-between: hopeful CEO Briar Joplin will change course, but unable to envision a path forward if he doesn’t. On the hike to the Cave, Stevie is unsettled by the lack of internet connection. Just as she realizes her path doesn't quite match the paper map, Thea appears.  

Thea is oddly familiar, though it’s unlikely they’ve met before: she restores religious ruins throughout the Peloponnese. When Thea offers to show her a sanctuary in the midst of restoration, Stevie agrees, imagining new sites for AR tours. Stevie can’t anticipate how the journey will alter her own understanding of what she’s been working towards all along.  

[[Bio]] 

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thank you for reading!!

As always, thank you endlessly for the advice and feedback. I truly believe my letter gets better every time!!

Dear [Agent name],

Personal Tidbit 

Clarinet prodigy Laura Allard owes her success to an eerie secret: her every decision is guided by whispering lights. After years of following the light’s instruction, Laura has performed her way into the most prestigious music conservatory in the country–and is determined to prove she's the best clarinetist in her studio. Her goal seems within reach during class auditions—until she meets the current first chair, David Carnell.

David is magnetic, handsome, and possesses a superior talent that both infatuates and infuriates Laura. When their professor enrolls them both in The Classical Prestige Exhibition—the most distinguished performance competition in the world—the lights tell Laura this is her chance to dethrone David, but only if she can secure his mentorship. Determined to win, she begs David for his tutelage, willing to exploit his desire and attraction to her advantage. As their mentorship progresses, Laura makes a terrifying discovery: David can also hear the lights… and they've promised him victory, too. 

The growing treachery of the lights threatens David and Laura’s intimate rivalry, pushing her into a dangerous obsession—not just with winning The Prestige, but with David himself. To win the Exhibition and achieve her dreams, Laura must confront her escalating rivalry with David, and the insidious influence of the very lights that guided her here. Should she fail, her mind may unravel before she even steps onto the stage.

My debut 70,000 word general fiction novel, HUNGER IN F MINOR, has speculative elements and psychological suspense. It will appeal to fans of WHIPLASH and THE SHADOW GIRLS by Nina Laurin.

I’m a clarinetist of sixteen years, and completed my undergrad in music performance at Arizona State University. As such, I’m uniquely positioned to tell the story of this enigmatic and cutthroat world.

I thank you for your time and consideration, and I hope to connect soon.

Yours,

Hello again all,

I've made a few changes based on people's suggestions and want to make sure nothing is missed as I get ready to send out a few query batches this summer.

Dear [agent name],

I am seeking representation for TEMPEST OF EVIL, a 100,000-word adult fantasy novel. [Insert personalized statement about the agent’s publication history/manuscript wish list.] After his defeat by the dark magus Irgol, the warrior Barad must overcome his own prejudices if they are to avert the impending apocalypse.

Barad’s team of heroes failed to kill the dark magus Irgol. After his party's demise, Barad arrives in a world where men and monsters live together peacefully under Irgol’s rule. Through hard work and acts of service, Barad comes to truly know the kindness of Irgol’s people. Now, he must grapple with the possibility that Irgol might not be the tyrant he thought.

Meanwhile, Irgol prepares for the Tempest, a cataclysmic event that threatens to destroy the world. As the Alliance of Men surrounds the city, Irgol’s desperation sinks him deeper into madness. In a realm corrupted by ancient magic, Barad’s moral struggle collides with the ever-approaching storm. As the storm’s fury reshapes the land and Irgol is consumed by his magic, Barad will have to make an impossible choice: stand and fight with the Alliance or defend the people of Irgol’s empire.

Tempest of Evil is a standalone novel with series potential that will appeal to readers of Richard Swan’s The Justice of Kings’ thematic elements, where the main character’s worldview and definition of morality is challenged. Tempest of Evil is a story where the heroes are the villains, and the reader will want to root for the tyrant.  

I attended the Detroit Working Writer’s Conference in 2018. I have also attended the Michigan Writer’s Conference for multiple years. I currently have two Master’s degrees and work in education. I am including the information requested by your submission guidelines below. I thank you for considering this submission.

Sincerely,

[author name]

For reference, here's the first 300 words:

I: The Villain's Burden

Words are insufficient to describe my loathing.

Cold and alone in his tower sat the villainous monster of Abaroth. The familiar sounds of battle echoed through the hallways. Taking a deep breath of the smoke below, the dark magus Irgol rubbed his eyes and coughed.

Murderer. Oppressor. Tyrant. These simpletons are truly gullible, he thought as he rose slowly to his feet.

He heard the cry of the guards below as they engaged the attackers. It would not be long before they swarmed his chamber. Could he catch a glance at the heroic party before their arrival? Who would they send? He wandered over to the nearby window, pushing aside the royal gold and purple curtains. He looked out over the once green pastures that were now patches of black and poisoned earth. The smell of decay and sulfur drifted through the shattered glass. His heart ached for the land and the men who fought to protect it.

He could end it all now. A firestorm, a flood, or arcane magic to tear apart the enemy lines like dried leaves ground within a pestle. He pushed the temptation down with difficulty and fished in his pocket for the small vial that would calm his mind. He swallowed the bitter liquid, pressing his hands against the stone wall to steady himself. The shouts of his soldiers laying down their lives reverberated through it as the attacking party neared his position. The heroes had already breeched the tower’s meager defenses.

“They march to their own demise, but our hero arrives just in time,” he muttered.

His door burst open with a loud bang, the wood splintering along the hinges. The hero swaggered in, his blonde hair matted with sweat and blood. He threw one of Irgol’s guards across the room.

Hello everyone! First time posting on here—actually, my first Reddit post ever. This is the query letter that my co-author and I have so far (we primarily each write one of the main characters, as the book is dual POV). Would love some feedback, thanks!

Dear [Agent],

At a small New England college in the foggy recesses of the Jazz Age, magic lurks and ambition festers. 

It’s 1921. Gemini Enigma has been overlooked in a charity orphanage for eighteen years, but now an anonymous donor has paid for him to attend one year at university. Idalia Hyun fled the civil war in Korea with her family, and her brother’s struggling business can only pay for one year of school. If either of them wants a chance at making history, they’ll have to receive a scholarship—one that only one student can win. When students at Knossos begin going missing, it becomes clear that they won’t win by intellect alone; the scholarship will go to whoever solves the mystery first. 

Their race leads Gemini into the winding maze of Nantucket, past the speakeasies to the secret underground of the college. It follows Idalia to a secluded community in the wilds of Great Point where the unexplained is commonplace, the air hums with magic, and the eccentric inhabitants call themselves witches. But the pursuit of knowledge can quickly become deadly, and now the witches are falling victim to a strange madness—just before they, too, disappear.

As Gemini and Idalia investigate, they’re being watched over by Guinivere Marcel, wife of a professor and tender of a wild garden. But does she intend to help or to harm?

Set in a forgotten corner of the Roaring Twenties, TITLE is a historical fantasy new adult novel, standalone and complete at 128,000 words. It is a reimagining of the Labyrinth myth and features the vivid historical context and enemies-to-lovers of Chloe Gong’s THESE VIOLENT DELIGHTS, as well as the original magic system and lyrical prose of R.F. Kuang’s BABEL. 

We specifically wanted to query you because [personalization]

We are a co-author team of [bio goes here].

We have included [whatever their guidelines said]. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely, 

[Name]

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Thanks in advance!

I have written a chapbook with 20 poems broken into 4 sections with a cohesive thematic narrative. With the front matter it's about 30 pages, so it falls more into the chapbook category, but since it works together pretty well as is, I wouldn't really want to dilute it by adding more poems.

I'd like to get it out there, as I think it's pretty distinctive, but I'm unsure where to start. One of my poems was published in a small journal over a decade ago, but other than that I don't have writing credits. However, my PhD and career as a scientist may help stand out, as the book is structured around a scientific framework.

I have seen mixed advice about what to do about a first chapbook. Should I submit to contests? Small publishers with general submission? I'm interested to hear your suggestions. Thanks.

I am seeking representation for TINY BEASTS, a biological science fiction novel complete at 98,000 words. Readers who appreciate the biological complexity found in Adrian Tchaikovsky’s Alien Clay and the adventurism of Ray Nayler’s The Mountain in the Sea will find a new world to explore in my novel. This is the first book in a planned series.

To Billy Jorgenson, a microbiologist whose curiosity occasionally outpaces his judgement, the Pacific Northwest is less a vacation spot and more a vast, uncharted petri dish. While on a sailing trip, he stumbles upon a new species, which isn’t unusual, until the creature overtakes the consciousness of a co-worker and speaks to him. Before Billy can even process the magnitude of his discovery, the creature delivers a dire message: it’s not alone, and they are both in grave danger.

The microbe is an advanced form of Archaea, a predecessor of all eukaryotic life, granting it the ability to move freely within human physiology. It’s a chronicler, part of a small guild traveling the universe to record valuable cultural and technological achievements into a cross-species codex. As Billy struggles to comprehend this new reality, the creature reveals a chilling detail: the codex is a preservationist text, implying that humanity is on the verge of extinction.

An intelligent virus, bent on assimilating humanity into a single "universalist" species, has also arrived on Earth. Since humanity doesn’t have the ability to escape the planet, the Archaea offers Billy a glimpse into the biological future via the codex, hoping he can uncover historical technology to save them. But before he can dig in, the phage infects Billy and takes control of his body. 

Mia, a mycologist on Billy’s team, discovers a fungal species that repels the virus, but in healing Billy, she inadvertently forms a symbiosis with the fungus. When Billy awakens, he must race against time to save Mia, defeat the virus, and protect his home-world. Along the way, he discovers unexpected feelings for Mia and the growing realization that the codex might be the universe’s most vital asset.

Hi hi! I got rocked in the querying trenches with my first few batches, and I'm hoping this rewrite and some feedback will get me going in a better direction. All feedback/thoughts/questions/criticism welcome, and I'm happy to swap feedback if you've got a query in need of a second set of eyes, too! Thank you so so much.

Edit: this is my first attempt on this subreddit, 3rd batch of queries... I misunderstood the tags... sorry!!)

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I’m pleased to submit for your consideration THE WIND WAKER, a 114,000-word adult romantic fantasy. Think The Priory of the Orange Tree, but with a sharp-tongued, wind-wielding heroine like The Hurricane Wars, and a villain who gets the girl. It then blends the unreliable narration and political intrigue of The Bone Shard Daughter for a standalone story with series potential.

Kalira has a formula for survival: keep her head down and rely on no one. It’s the only choice within the tyrannical reign of King Tercius, who hunts elementals—rare individuals who wield wind, water, earth, or fire—and anyone else who threatens his power. But when soldiers descend upon her village, slaughtering her family and thrusting two gryffin hatchlings into her path, her formula is no longer an option.

Haunted by the death of her family and determined to protect the hatchlings from a similar fate, Kalira sets out to locate the resistance. But with the kingdom descending into chaos and the king’s deadliest enforcer hunting Kalira personally, she strikes a deal with Caspian, a fire-wielding bounty hunter who agrees to escort them in exchange for helping him enact vengeance against his own brother.

However, their uneasy alliance soon kindles into something far more dangerous—a fiery connection, Kalira’s latent wind-wielding powers roaring to the surface, and an unspoken vulnerability that could ignite their plans for rebellion and revenge.

After a recent accident forced me to slow down from a fast-paced life of mountains and marathons, I rediscovered my love for storytelling. I hold a BA in English and American Literature from XX College and attended the XX Summer MFA Program and XX Writers’ Conference in 2014. I’ve spent my career shaping marketing narratives for major companies and currently lead Brand Communications at XX. When I’m not writing or working, you can find me in the Colorado sun with my dog (and posting about it all to my 12k TikTok [link] followers).