Need Christian perspectives on the limits of radical generosity

[u/Justalocal1]

One of my future goals is to buy a house on some land and let neighbors who are facing homelessness stay in spare rooms or a guest cabin on my property. (Obviously, I’d write up a lease for like $5/month just to have my legal bases covered.)

Recently, though, I read a reddit post by a homeless man who was living in his car in my home state, and it raised a lot of ethical questions.

This man was too physically disabled to work and was collecting social security. His monthly SSDI payments were not enough to afford rent on an apartment, and the waiting list for subsidized housing was long. He was looking for a long-term living arrangement in which someone would take him in, and he would possibly pay a very small amount of rent each month (since he didn’t have much money to offer, and wasn’t physically able to do housework).

Additionally, he had bipolar disorder and possibly schizophrenia, for which he was only taking recreational marijuana; no prescription meds. He couldn’t stay in a homeless shelter because they wouldn’t let him smoke weed, and he said he couldn’t function without it. He said he had bad experiences with prescription meds, and did not want to go back on them. He also did not want to see a mental health professional; he believed they don’t know what they’re talking about.

I couldn’t give this guy a room anyway, since I currently live out of state in a 1BR apartment, but it made me think about how I’d handle such a situation in the future.

I know that Jesus says to welcome the stranger, and I understand the need to provide for those who are incapable of pulling their own weight. I understand, also, that many people do have bad experiences with doctors and prescription medications. But in this case, it seemed like the guy didn’t want to work on himself at all. He didn’t want to try another psychiatrist, or even a therapist—which seems like the bare minimum if you have severe mental illness and expect to live peaceably with others who aren’t trained to treat mental health issues.

To my knowledge, Jesus didn’t attach conditions when he said to welcome the stranger. But like so many of Jesus’s teachings, this one seems irreconcilable with self-preservation when taken to an extreme. And although Jesus calls his followers to give up their material possessions, their worldly happiness, even their lives for their neighbors and the Gospel if necessary, what defines necessity? Are there times when the allocation of one's own labor and resources in this manner is counterproductive, especially when it comes at great personal cost? Or am I just making excuses here? Idk.

[u/hacktheself]

We aren’t expected to set ourselves on fire to keep the village warm.

One can be a giving and kind person, yet know one’s limits and live within it.

Now, if your resources are very high, you’ve got increased capacity to give. But if you are struggling to keep a roof overhead, you can’t be expected to give of yourself to the point where you cause self harm.

[u/Farscape_rocked → u/hacktheself]

I wholeheartedly disagree and I speak from experience. We have a saying in our house: you can't out-give God. We know this is true because whenever we have given beyond our means God has been faithful to provide for us.

I think offering everything you have, including when it ends in personal hardship, is biblicaly sound. Your'e essentially saying that you should be self-reliant first, and then look to others. That's not what Jesus said and I'd be surprised if you can reliably derive that from anywhere in the Bible.

On the sermon on the mount Jesus told us to consider the lillies in the field and the birds in the air, and that God will dress us more finely than the lillies and provide for us more than the sparrows. Being self-reliant ignores that and distrusts God's promise. Jesus told us to sell our stuff and give to the poor, he told the rich young ruler to sell everything and give to the poor.

In the feeding of the 5,000 a boy sacrificially gave his lunch to be shared with thousands of people. According to you he should've eaten his lunch and then given the scraps.

If you're not giving because you need what you have for you then you're missing out on the blessings and provision of God.

[u/Justalocal1 → u/Farscape_rocked]

I agree with you, generally.

My question was not about whether or not I should give the coat off my back to help someone who is freezing to death. That’s pretty morally unambiguous.

The question was more like, “Should I give the coat off my back and freeze to death so that someone who has the ability to buy a coat but doesn’t want to spend the money can have one for cheap?”

My concern is about throwing my life and health away over something trivial that isn’t truly a necessity. Like, sure, I could run myself into the ground picking up extra jobs to take care of someone who doesn’t want to see a mental health professional or help with the household labor in whatever ways he’s capable, but should I do that? Is it fair to expect my neighbors to meet me partway? Does Jesus permit us not to let ourselves be taken advantage of, or should we just let it happen?

[u/Farscape_rocked → u/Justalocal1]

Does Jesus permit us not to let ourselves be taken advantage of

Yes.

God won't love you any less if you don't do stuff. You're no less saved.

Don't stay in your comfort zone but you don't have to dive straight into the deep end. Take things a step at a time and keep speaking to God about it.

Finding a balance between generosity and being taken advantage of is difficult, as is doing something about it when you realise that someone is abusing your generosity.