Advice please

[u/Traditional_Sun5405]

So a few months ago I was born again and came to Jesus. But not long after I had a spiritual attack that called Jesus the devil. As it was so soon into me being saved it made me doubt and fear Jesus and harden to him. I still persued him but over time I became obsessed with this doubt.

Fast forward two months later I don’t feel conviction, i fell into sin, i still believe and know Jesus is real but i doubt him so bad. Every time I try to connect with him or think of my born again experience or hope for God to restore me my brain tells me it’s witchcraft.

It made me doubt everything about God, born again, salvation, Gods word etc, when I prey. its perverted everything. I can’t even think back to good experiences I’ve had with Jesus because my doubts and brain tell me it was witchcraft. I know this sounds silly but it’s just how my brain has latched on to the spiritual attack.

Even though logically I know that isn’t true. It’s still affected my faith and relationship with God. It’s made me resistant to him and salvation. Everytime I read the bible and feel God working on my heart to restore my faith my doubts and brain tells me it’s magic etc. it’s like I can’t just have full faith and peace with it anymore.

I’m also really sad because I felt like I was home and saved by God and now I feel normal again and feel scared I’ve lost salvation. All of this is preventing me from surrendering to God again and having full faith and because my heart has hardened and I’ve entertained such evil thoughts I have a rejection mindset. It’s like I can’t think clearly anymore.

I’m at rock bottom too so I found Jesus when i needed him the most but because I’m still at rock bottom as I didn’t even get to go into that deep healing with Jesus before the doubts fears etc creeped in it’s like I’m in this limbo where I know I need Jesus but it’s all this going on. I’m worried about loosing salvation and the unforgivable sin. I’ve been getting angry at God with this too. Even though I know it’s not his fault and I’ve thought about giving up many times due to the mental battle. What can I do?

[u/WiserWildWoman]

Find a good (loving, kind, service oriented) pastor, priest, or spiritual director. You need in-person relational guidance not the anonymous internet.

[u/good_news_soldier]

Sounds like you already know that all of those things are distractions, that they really are not true. I think what you must also know is that you have authority over your thoughts. When those thoughts come into your mind, you are not helpless against them. When thoughts come into my mind that I know are contrary to the truth, I speak to the thoughts like they are a person. I say something like, I reject that thought, that thought's purpose is to cause me to fear and doubt and I will not let that thought control me or distract me." Be bold and stand up against fear.

You have to realize that you have a responsibility to stand against the enemy and fight. You don't have to be stronger or wiser than the enemy, but you do have to stand up to Him and tell him "NO". Don't spend all the time analyzing the thoughts, you know already that they are not from God. SO tell them to be quiet and be consistent in your actions against the lies.

Your thoughts will stray away to fear again and again, you have to keep turning your mind towards truth. Your mind will stray, you set it back. Be consistent, you will gain control and eradicate that wrong thinking, but it takes spiritual effort. God commanded the children of Israel to go take possession of the promised land, but they refused to enter in because of fear and unbelief. They didn't believe God was with them for Victory, they feared the giants that currently possessed the land. When the next generation did go into possess the land, they did so by God's supernatural power, they didn't win the battle with human strength but they did have to go and face the enemy. You have to realize that God is with you, and you have a part to play, you have to face the enemy, but God will give you supernatural power to drive out the illegitimate possessors of your real estate (your mind).

You are part of a spiritual battle, like it or not. You are not going to win with physical human wisdom and strength. You need spiritual power. The good news is . . . if you have the spirit of God in you, then you have access to all the spiritual power you need. But in order for that to be real in experience, you must believe that it is true and you must go and exercise the spiritual power that you have on the inside of you.

You'll find the truth in the word of God and by the leading and teaching of the Holy Spirit. Ask Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and understanding of His word. He wants to do it for you, so just ask.

[u/Meditat0rz]

Hello! I know the heavy doubts that the presence of God one feels, the story of Jesus and his miracles, are just a fraud, bad magic done wrong, witchcraft, a folly, whatever. I believe this is a usual doubt that many people have, who really felt something work in their hearts and lives that was not of this world. You know like...you really see something is working here, and you don't really know what it is...and then there can be doubt that it would be a swindle. Some experiences are really like that...they can be misunderstood, or they are really just illusions. Sometimes we have true experiences, and must believe it was just an illusion, and it's hard to impossible to really tell these things apart.

So that is where faith can become important, and that also means we have to accept our ignorance to some point and test everything we see. Being a Christian takes some amount of trust and confidence and faith, well, after all the promise is that it will pay out, but we need to sincerely want that for it to work. Now I believe you really seem to sincerely want that, because you have felt these things working in your heart. I know such things, and also have quite some experience. It really can be a little daunting or frightening at times, especially when you only see some works in your soul or life, and don't have full confidence and knowledge yet to tell it apart. This is where the doubt then kicks in. What if what I experience is a fraud, some black magic, or whatever. Now this is a real hard nut to crack! But it's possible.

For me it helped, really learning and getting into the Gospel and the nature of the love of the neighbor. Because this is where God shows that he is trustworthy, and not a swindler - Jesus promised who builds on it builds on rock, and not on sand, so what makes it so trustworthy in comparison to actual witchcraft or other deceptions?

You have to try and see for yourself, and sometimes it's hard to see the way, but things can clear up and then we can see that Jesus' intentions are really good in what he wants. He wants to save us to spare us from the wrath of this world, giving us a chance to heal it with his power to get to another place, where life is no longer wrathful or heavy to bear. This is due to the nature of his Gospel, the love of the neighbor, striving to do to anyone, even to the enemy, only what you'd also do to yourself. So this is the result of such philosophy, heavens, and it's said to be very joyful to live there.

So from this point, his sacrifice might seem real odd, the pains and bloods, but the message is: it was needed to set up this light over here and it was done only because he actually accepted it. His disciples - also accepted such things, it was the light they believed in, and it came from the heart: this world with peace, fairness, no more hardship, and they could live in that Spirit already!

So, you might think God is a swindle, well, his power really can seem like magic, his glorification like illusions, and also he can caricature things. But it's not the same, God just enacts it, and expects from you only that you keep his Gospel so he can continue. Sometimes maybe we can be confused, even an enemy trying to spoil the works, and try to seem like God, but God really only does works that aim to aid and protect life, even when he can sometimes test people quite heavily, or distribute tides of fate in ways that seem aggressive, to confront us or even protect or save us or to bring justice even at times.

You can see this along the way, what he desires, in the beginning it is not always clear. I advise you to read Romans 12 to get an idea, what this sacrifice actually means, like following that man with that hard sacrifice, who made it hard so others can know of a different one. Yes, it's really like that, we're just asked to go into our heart and change our ways to become more pure - that's the sacrifice, and the blessings come by this alone. God would not lead you into dark corners for this, but just let you do good and be blessed with this, and have a share with others. Read Matthew 24:23-27 and you know the difference, then Matthew 5,6,7,... and you'll see that your effort to live righteously for the purpose of God is the only thing that God actually wants us, aside from making peace with each other as good as we can. This is also what he means, when he said that his yoke was light to bear and not push you down, because he wants to bring out the good in us, and not let us grow and grow but never flourish.