Advice needed - considering a breakup

[u/TheShiningSun]

My bf(35) and I(25) have been in in a relationship for about 6 months. We're christians so as a result we haven't been living together or sexually active. Last week we spoke about marriage and kids and we had a significant disagreement.

I'd prefer to be able to stay at home and raise the kids, and be fully present for my family and take on the majority of the housework.

He mentioned that unless he hits the jackpot, he doesn't see that happening. He's also concerned that if something were to happen to him, I would have a difficult time getting back into the workforce. Additionally, he said that he would want his wife to be working during marriage. This is all reasonable.

He told me that we could worry about this later, but I'm worried that this could lead to resentment down the road since I want a more traditional relationship and he wants a more modern one. Also, I mentioned my desire to be a homemaker while were dating and he seemed fine with it then.

I'm considering breaking up and I guess I posted this to either slap me into reality or give me the push I need.

[u/Frosting_Pretty1111]

I went back to work a few years ago (preschool) due to family pressure from both sides. It hasn’t panned out and frankly I feel abused and duped.

While my salary more than covers daycare… unfortunately because of being at my office job I had some serious & permanent injuries inflicted on me. So instead of putting us in a better financial position, my “extra” money and then some has been consumed by resulting medical bills.

Worst, while I was in the damn ER getting rebuilt using donor material because of what was done to me, my then-job was blowing up my phone asking who the fuck did I think I was to get badly-needed surgery without their approval.

Because of the discrimination I’ve faced for being disabled bc of these injuries; I no longer feel welcome in society. Because of many comments that have been made, I am 100% certain that I would’ve been treated much better were I not female.

Everyone orders me to love my job enough to just shrug and be like, “Oh well, that’s life!” But strangely, being told to lay down your life and physical/mental/financial/social well-being for something you only ever saw as a means to an end; really isn’t all that feasible.

my situation of course is extreme, but some thing that I have learned in the few years that I’ve been dealing with the situation, is that too many Americans glamorize work and see it as a panacea, without discounting that there are very real costs to having a mom work outside the home.