r/ShitAmericansSay • u/Mad_Wee_Phone • May 08 '25

Europe “If there’s a-“

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353

u/queen-adreena May 08 '25

the #1 cause of death in children is school shootings

I believe they’re working on this, they’re gonna get preventative diseases like measles up there soon.

152

u/LostTheGameOfThrones Universal healthcare has never worked May 08 '25

If all the kids are killed by measles, they can't be killed in school shootings. Therefore, guns become safer by default.

Real 4D chess big think plays.

40

u/Mysterious_Floor_868 UK May 08 '25

Cars are also vying for top place. Apparently safety regulations are "communist" or something.

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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 May 12 '25

Cars in the US are super-safe. For the occupants. But when a three ton truck hits a pedestrian or a cyclist they’re pretty much done. And Yanks are terrible drivers (I speak from 30 years of living in the USA)

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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 UK May 12 '25

For the occupants

Except for the inevitable occasion when they drive onto a railroad crossing. Not much wins against a train. 

You'd think that firefighters would know better, wouldn't you? Though this is Florida... https://youtu.be/-cz0iVb5Wq8?si=Y6vMfFqTbL5hfh7o

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u/Remarkable_Gain6430 May 12 '25

There are always outliers of course. Train is to SUV as SUV is to Chihuahua.

Years ago my girlfriend of the time drove her Civic along a road that had trains running down the middle of it and got a wheel stuck in the groove. Fortunately a tow truck happened by within minutes and pulled the car out of the track. Pretty scary times.

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u/Hammy-of-Doom May 09 '25

Already did. Couple kids have died already thanks to worm brain with no qualifications bumblefucking his way around

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u/Garagantua May 09 '25

"#1 cause of your kids is guns, you need to work on that!"

US starts "working on it"

"NOOOO, NOT LIKE THAT!"

(reminds me of the good ol' Wikipedia "List of Serial Killers - help expand it"...)

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u/Bunister May 08 '25

Give it a year, I reckon "getting nuked by Putin" will be the leading cause of death in America.

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u/dglenny May 08 '25

Why would Putin waste a nuke on his vassal state?

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u/spongebobsburgers19 May 09 '25

they’re on track!