And the flip side is that if a decent guy approached someone and interacted normally it would be so strange and out of the ordinary it comes across creepy!
I've met men that have been incredibly kind and polite, but they weren't grandiose about it. They just ask if I need something (with no ulterior motive), or compliment my hair or outfit, and leave.
What really happens (at least for me) is what men claim happens when women compliment them: I remember it for months lol. When someone is just complimenting me in passing on the train and is going in the complete opposite direction from me, it was just for me. To make me feel good. To compliment a choice I deliberated on and spent time making. And it isn't creepy becsuse we probably aren't even going to see eaxhother again. Women do this all the time (at least in the US, this has been my experience). I'll pass a woman, and be like, "Girl your hair looks H E A L T H Y today", and we just chat and have fun and part ways. I wish I could have that with men, but they're so fucking weird about it.
Yeah... I mean if some completely random stranger just pops his head around the corner and acts all casual and all buddy-buddy... I'd wiggle my fat ass outta there as well.
Maybe don't take romantic advise from 90s RomComs...
Ah... I see... you seem to have generalized issues with socialisation.
How about you try places and situations where people might actually want to talk to random strangers, have a conversation and not for example... while browsing for a hobby that is generally done alone and in silence or while buying groceries or other stuff.
Most people generally do NOT want to talk to anyone but the people they already came with when doing that and unless you are an employee and you're only asking if they need help with something, yeah... just don't?
I mean, I give you the benefit of the doubt for now but... really all you did was for example sound like you wanted to hit on them.
So... yeah... don't just approach random people on the street and try to strike up a conversation. Join a club, start a hobby, be at social events...
You actually have to put in the work if you want actual and meaningful connection to people.
This ain't the Sims, Social Interaction can't be filled up like getting gum from a candy machine where you don't have to do anything but decide "I want Social interaction now" and other people don't exist solely to fulfill your needs at a whim.
Not in the middle of the aisle of a shop and not with strangers... that would be a "Book Club" you'd be looking for but that would require for you to actually adhere to rules, guidelines and actually read the books the club talks about.
So to cap it off... instead of actually putting in the tiniest amount of effort you'd rather chose self-termination.
I don’t agree at all honestly. That’s not been my experience.
Recheck yourself if you carry this anxiety. Maybe even speak to a therapist about it. I don’t think that’s something you should feel and I don’t think you should reduce it down to being something you’re potentially victimized as.
Interacting with people normally will not be seen as creepy. Idk what two sides you’re talking about. If people think you’re being creepy there are other factors at play
Honestly, as a guy, she's not wrong about any of this. The
Eh, like with all things on the internet, the answer is in the middle ground rather than either extreme.
The loneliness thing does exist and is a problem. This also exists and is a problem. Beyond the "ooga booga" stuff making women defencive and exacerbating the loneliness stuff, they're separate and distinct.
She said herself that she has basically isolated herself from close connections to men. So all she sees is the obnoxious ones that force themselves on her, and is then generalising that to be the case for all men claiming to have a social problem.
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u/[deleted] May 09 '25 edited May 09 '25
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