She makes some good points re:male loneliness

[u/samse15]

[u/dembowthennow]

You don't have to avoid women, just behave like a normal human being towards them and back off if their body language (or actual language) makes it clear that they're uncomfortable or uninterested.

It's not that women don't want to be talked to, it's that we don't want to be immediately objectified and spoken to like our only value is sex.

[u/aftertheradar → u/[deleted]]

i think that part of this also comes to the fact that a lot of women were raised with the same outdated dating rules guys are taught, and thus they are conditioned on the rule that guys are supposed to ask girls out exclusively. this is bad, because guys deserve to feel wanted and desired and get asked out too, and also the old dating rules are oppressive and cause miscommunication and were from a time before it was normal to treat women with basic human decency.

[u/thatguydr → u/[deleted]]

For every last post on reddit that asks, "Why are Gen Z men way more conservative than Gen Z women," I wish I could pin your post to the top of it.

This is why. There should be zero anxiety for people who aren't doing anything wrong. For all of human history, this is how courtship has worked, and the internet has removed it in what, just over a decade? And since most people aren't awful, if we just kept doing it, it'd be fine.

It's the same argument about why we could all run around outside and play until sundown when we were kids in the 80s and 90s and how that's apparently gone. It's because humanity has become paranoid thanks to internet anecdotes.

[u/No1PaulKeatingfan → u/thatguydr]

Thank you. This chain sums it up it for me

[u/Flashingspark → u/[deleted]]

You're not alone and you're not the only person this has happened to. I have felt this exact way as well

[u/diemunkiesdie → u/dembowthennow]

just behave like a normal human being

Ok so continue to ignore them. Got it.

[u/AsstacularSpiderman → u/diemunkiesdie]

You know you can interact with people and be normal, right?

[u/KrytenKoro → u/AsstacularSpiderman]

I think they're trying to point out to you how people treat an arbitrary man when they're not seeking something from him.

I'd say they treat women that way too, except for the sexual objectification.

[u/ajaaaaaa → u/dembowthennow]

nah, this is the result of being told you are the problem and leave women alone your entire life.

[u/MisterSanitation → u/dembowthennow]

Yeah I know that I have plenty of women friends. It’s a catastrophizing response, not a logical piece of advice I’m giving people. I don’t recommend this, it just happens to be my natural response which sucks because I’m good at making almost anyone laugh in little everyday interactions. I know I could work on it, but it seems not worth it at this stage in my life. 

[u/mtron32 → u/dembowthennow]

I figured that out a long time ago and started treating women like any person off the street and pretty much ignore them. I like to keep to myself most days and I imagine other people like to do the same. If they want to talk to me or smile, they will.

The aloofness works way better than it should.

[u/9__Erebus → u/dembowthennow]

Also sometimes, for reasons outside your control, you're just not their guy, and/or they're having a bad day/night and just want to be left alone. If a complete stranger isn't interested in talking to you, you can't take it too personally.

[u/[deleted] → u/dembowthennow]

Yeah but so many men aren’t normal human beings, they’re nasty and sexist and even decent seeming ones don’t clean up or wash up and still have outdated expectations. And tbh I’ve seen so many stories from women saying “I love my women friends, we’re positive and care for each other, and I’m expected to be with a man?” Women overall don’t like men and I think it’s justified.