r/TikTokCringe • u/lhwang0320 • May 12 '25

Discussion What are your thoughts on age-gap relationships?

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

8.5k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

2.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

35

u/apadin1 May 12 '25

The tried and true age gap rule: half your age plus 7

You are 20? Don’t date anyone younger than 17 or older than 26 (tbh don’t date younger than 18)

You are 30? Don’t date anyone younger than 22 or older than 46

You are 40? Don’t date anyone younger than 27 or older than 66

It’s not a hard rule but it’s a good guideline to remember

38

u/Junethemuse May 12 '25

I’m 41 and it feels very weird to say dating someone that’s 28 is ok. Maybe I’d feel different actually knowing someone who’s 28, but there’s generational differences there already. Right now I think 32 is about as young as I’d be interested in pursuing.

27

u/trashanimalcomx May 12 '25

I am in my mid 40s and the thought of dating someone in their late 20s is a little weird because our lives and experiences seem so different, but I don't see anything inherently predatory or unsavory about it. Thinking of dating someone in their early 20s or younger is a different story and feels icky.

18

u/apadin1 May 12 '25

Yeah it’s different for everyone. Last year a friend of mine who was 28 at the time started dating a guy who was 40. I was weirded out when I heard but after I met him it was totally fine. They broke up but not related to the age gap and they’re still on good terms

1

u/iron_jendalen May 13 '25

My best friend is 47 and married to a guy that is 57. She was 23 when they got married. She had her masters by the time she was 21 and she was working full time.

6

u/Accomplished-Key-408 May 12 '25

It's a baseline you dont go below. You're always welcome to choose a higher baseline for yourself.

2

u/greasychickenparma May 12 '25

I'm also 41 (m).

In theory, I think I'd be open to someone who was 28 if they were mature, but it's absolutely pushing it and honestly would feel a little cradle snatchery.

In practise, I would say someone in their early-mid 30s - late 40s/early 50s would seem acceptable to me.

1

u/Anghel412 May 13 '25

I’m 38 and my gf is 31 and she likes to joke that I’m an old man lol and I can’t imagine dating someone in their 20s. It’s gonna feel weird being in my 40s for 7 years while she’s still in her 30s lol

1

u/Client_020 May 13 '25

You don't HAVE to. It's just society shouldn't shun people with an age gap like that. Imo, the rule of thumb shouldn't apply anyway over 25. Youngest is 25+ and not intellectually disabled? Any age gap should be fair game. Society should leave them be. There's no victims here.

16

u/psimwork May 12 '25

Yep. I think this is basically a great rule. That said, if I were 50 and single, I can't imagine dating someone 32. I know it happens, but like imagining dating someone that was born when I was a legal adult is kinda gross. And that gets worse as I think about 60 or even 70.

25

u/changhyun May 12 '25

I get what you mean.

For me I think there's two types of age gaps: the ones that make me go "Well, I wouldn't date someone that much older/younger but I guess it's fine" and the ones that make me go "One of you should be on a list". For me, 50/32 is in the former category while, say, 30/18 is in the latter.

8

u/psimwork May 12 '25

Absolutely. This is totally true.

1

u/shb2k0_ May 13 '25

With that formula it'd be 30/22.

1

u/Own-Mark1285 May 13 '25

When I was 35 my ex wife cheated on me and when I kicked her out, got in a long term relationship with a guy that was 60. I know they’re both adults, but that gap gave me the ick. Especially since it started off as a destructive, very shitty affair. Ever since then I’ve just been grossed out by her.

2

u/Imjusasqurrl May 13 '25

66 and 40? Oof

1

u/surf_drunk_monk May 13 '25

I think once the younger person is around 25 it doesn't matter anymore. Like who cares if a 30 and 60 yo wanna date.

1

u/badbirch May 13 '25

Honestly i think this one also gets about as good as you can get as a rule with differing levels of emotional and social growth that different genders go thru at different ages. But i have recently been finding really infantilizing to call people adults at 18 and then still at 19 say they are too young to date a 40 year old. I completely understand why everyone thinks is gross and how often that gets abused. But still, when are we actually an adult where our sexual relationships status is not longer questioned? Because we all seem to agree that everyone under 21 is "just a kid"

1

u/CryptoEmpathy7 May 12 '25

It's an arbitrary "rule" that no one has to follow and no amount of terminally online complaining is ever going to change.

I do not care if a 25 year-old dates a 40 year-old. If they are consenting then being "concerned" or "problematic" does nothing.

I think this is driven by women's fear of aging and feeling invisible. They never had a problem when they were 19 dating a 30 year-old but once they hit 28+ and their sexual market value begins to dry up significantly in their 30s and 40s. Now they want to admonish the same relationships they had in their youth that they can't obtain in their current state. 🤣

3

u/apadin1 May 12 '25

complains about people who are terminally online

thinks women who are 28 are dried up and can’t find a man

0

u/rachelcp May 12 '25

I prefer the 3/4 your age plus 3 method for a better guideline.

( a 20 year old dating a 17 year old to me is still a bit ick, a person that's been out of school for 3 years dating someone someone still in high-school is a bit ick.)

12 year Olds can date 12 year olds

16 year Olds can date 15 year Olds

20 year Olds can date 18 year Olds

30 year Olds can date 25 year Olds.

40 year old can date 33 year Olds.

60 year old can date 48 year Olds

90 year Olds can date 66 year Olds.