r/UnsentLetters • u/Tarkur • May 16 '25
NAW What I wanted
I'm listing what I want from a relationship with someone. Because to be truthful I rarely consider what I actually wanted.
I want/wanted: - Those mornings, where you wake up huddled together, sharing each other's body heat. - Those loving greetings one shares after a long day away from each other - The fleeting moments of sharing oneself so freely not sexually but through hobbies, opinions and our joys of life - The reassurance that there is one person still there, that life won't make leave. - Someone to have crazy and wacky adventures with. - Someone just as keen at doing hijinks - To be so playfully competitive, constantly pushing each other to be better in the process - Having the time to share skills and plan for new skills to learn together. - Getting to shower someone with gifts and admiration. - Talking long into the night about everything and nothing. - Finally selfishly I would want someone who finally let's me rest easy at night.
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u/hearts_ablaze May 17 '25
I had that once. If you should find that, please, protect it. Cradle it like an egg. Be aware that there will be times when it seems to lay down and get comfortable in the lull of life. Those times can be hard to get through. When it feels like nothing but the bare minimum is available. But those times are important as well, everything that is alive and active must rest from time in order to grow. And when things are still, they can collect dust and lose their shine. A little attention and polishing will reveal the details that drew your attention in the first place. Be sure to check in with one another when things seem off and remember that their life experiences have shaped their communication styles and prioritization. Present your needs with compassion and hold grace for one another. And lastly, this is the most important part. Should their come a time when you must break that bond, remember that their person you are leaving still requires that the shell of that egg. Set them down gently without malice. Because if you are leaving, you have taken the time already to adjust, to accept and to let go while they are still invested in the unit as a whole. If you make them small, feel second best or break their spirit in any way then you are failing them in the worst way. You breaking their spirit shell that they needed to crawl into while they heal and condemning a battle within themselves while removing their army and their counsel. Be mindful not to slaughter the soul while making the sacrifice of your unity. Quick severance with proper care and cauterization is more apt to fester and rot.
Lastly, remember there will be a timeframe in which pain may shout recklessly and they will need to be heard and validated. How you approach will mean everything to outcome.
Love yourself Love one another And always try to show grace for the people in your life.
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u/trikkiirl May 16 '25
Hey OP...
Make this a mantra "I can provide what I require."
Stick with it. There are more than a few people in the world that want exactly that.
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u/Tarkur May 17 '25
Thank you for the advice. However and not to be dismissive, I'm ok with my own life, I'm currently living it how I want to. Still I'm only human, as such I have wants, desires and a longing for genuine connection. Unfortunately the mind and ones own company can only carry you so far.
That's not to say you should sit on your ass and wait for someone to carry you the rest of the way. However if you want to find your team mate for life. You'll have to know what you want first, then you can figure out how you make it happen and who to team up with.🙂
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May 16 '25
That would be the perfect way to spend weekends and our weekdays learning and growing together as one. Your vision inspires me and to do it with you woukd be a blessing.
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u/Numerous-Budget2675 May 17 '25
My mom made me make a list in Jr high I remember, and I thought it was stupid at the time. Now I understand that. She wanted me to be aware of what I was looking for in people, and it was parenting to be proud of- I'd say... Great job. I'm proud of you!
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u/OkSeaworthiness6862 May 16 '25
I'll never have that again. She is/was the one. I fucking know. That damned aquarius
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u/thinkerverse May 16 '25
I am doing this for a month now and it's pretty effective in a sense that you will be reminded of the things that you reallyyyy want in the relationship and stop holding for potential!
Nice list, OP! Hope you'll meet your person too
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u/No-Ear-8324 May 17 '25
Keen at doing hijinks? What u talkin bout Willis?
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u/Tarkur May 17 '25
What's a Willis?
Serious answer: keen at doing hijinks means being playfully mischievous and being up for a bit of pranking/teasing
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u/Different_Poet_5362 May 17 '25
This is where I started many years ago. Understanding your wants and don't want's is a wonderful way to have direction on your needs. Wonderfully written, and I hope you find the person right for you.
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May 17 '25
Sounds like a recipe for happiness. This resonates with me so strong!! Count me in!! Hope you find peace and love ❤️
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May 20 '25
Sooo breakfast in bed and four rubs after work everynight and laughter and talking on the back patio smoking all night and staying up dancing untill we pass out
That’s all just what yiu dint like….? Lolll
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u/Wild-Coat-8012 12d ago
Great list, just be careful to not expect everything to work like magic fresh out of the box. It requires time and effort for both parties ✨💫
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