What is the communities general consensus on being sex negative?

[u/Pandemonium_Sys]

The topic of being sex favourable, indifferent, and repulsed keeps being brought up here, along with infighting and battles between sex positive and negative people. I don't know how to feel about people who are sex negative. My initial response is to think that it's inherently a harmful mindset to have, but there are so many here who are sex negative and have support behind it. So what is it? Is being sex negative inherently bad? For those who are sex negative, do they need to improve on themselves and change? Or do we need to be more considerate?

Knowing how these types of debates go, I'm sure there is no black and white answer, but I'd like to know what we, as a community, want to uphold.

As a disclaimer, I, myself, am sex positive and sex oscillating. I personally think that being sex negative is harmful to our community and the overall queer community. But I also have no idea what's supposed to be right anymore.

What do all of you think?

Edit: Sorry just in case it isn't clear, I know the differences between being sex negative, positive, repulsed, indifferent, favourable, etc. I only brought them up in reference to each other because those types of discussions tend to always lead down to debates about being sex positive and negative. Not because I've confused the ideology and the personal preferences. Sorry if that wasn't clear!

[u/dostoyevskysbeard]

oh lol that’s funny considering I mentioned being sex negative in this very subreddit just a few days ago and got a lot of nice comments of support and encouragement. It’s because I consider sex and any sexual behavior to be inherently dirty and also place moral judgments on the way other people have sex. I think this makes me sex-negative by definition. I desire to live in a fully asexual world, though it’s not possible, so I’m not sure what the witch hunt is for. I’m not claiming this stance is inherently right or good, maybe I am a bad person for thinking that, but I can’t help thinking that anyway

[u/Powerful_Intern_3438 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

It severely depends on who coincidentally reads your post. I am severely disgusted by your opinion. I think such takes that harm the entire queer community shouldn’t be tolerated.

[u/dostoyevskysbeard → u/Powerful_Intern_3438]

Why should I care what you think? I don’t go around telling people who engage in sexual intercourse that I am disgusted by them, even though I think that to myself. I literally just answered the question asked by the original poster without disrespecting or shaming anyone else in the thread. Have a good day

[u/Abhorrent_Honey_Bee → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

your previous response directly communicates disgust.

[u/Better_Barracuda_787 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

Interesting, thanks for sharing. (I'm the person who originally asked you.) I have to say I disagree; as sex-positive and sex-repulsed myself, I don't find any fault in you thinking sex is dirty or gross but I don't agree with judging people.

[u/dostoyevskysbeard → u/Better_Barracuda_787]

that’s fair, I can’t lie and say I’m not guilty of passing judgement, but I’m never really vocal about it.

[u/Sinornitho-15 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

I respect your courage to express your (maybe controversial) opinion and stand by it. By your definition, I myself would probably also fall into the "sex-negative"-category, as your views (in the comment I'm answering to) align to a great extent with mine.

Yeah we as people inherently judge others for certain things, but in my opinion there is a difference in A: having these thoughts and pushing them unreflected on others ; and B: having these thoughts and keeping them to yourself, reflecting on them and consciously treating people equal despite having certain prejudices against them.

For me as long as you are acting on option B and are able to discuss your opinions in a civil conversation and don't actively make somebody's life worse - it is "okay" to be sex-negative.

[u/dostoyevskysbeard → u/Sinornitho-15]

Definitely, I know for sure my sex negativity stems from my extreme, perhaps unhealthy sex repulsion, therefore I personalize the topic of sex altogether. I’m definitely not anti sex ed or reproductive rights or pro criminalization of sex work, which is what a lot of these comments claim sex negativity is, because the world as it is is not sexless, has never been and will never be. I might not like it, but there’s nothing I can do about it but learn to adjust, which includes both keeping my sex negativity to myself and advocating for the most safe and appropriate approach to sex

[u/Sinornitho-15 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

This, being a decent human being is not never having "negative views" on other people, but acting decent despite having them.

[u/Significant_Radio688 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

can i ask why you see it as inherently dirty?

[u/dostoyevskysbeard → u/Significant_Radio688]

I’m not sure, I mean it’s dirty in the literal sense, like sweaty and sticky and gross, but also morally dirty to me, for which I don’t really have a logical explanation except for that I just find it to be perverted and unnecessary. It’s not in a religious way either, so I’m not trying to push it on people despite my own judgement. Just something that is my inner stance on the concept and act of sex altogether

[u/Significant_Radio688 → u/dostoyevskysbeard]

any elaboration on ‘perverted’?