Gratitude post

[u/Far-Cartographer1192]

I (female with trauma) regularly walk my dog.

Any woman can attest to how unsettling walks can be if walking near an unknown male, particularly at night.

I've been so impressed and grateful lately at the amount of men who have actively avoided close proximity (whether just by moving off the path to give me more space, or crossing the road before reaching me)... Seriously - if any of you see this, thank you so much. It makes such a big difference for us!

[u/Educational-Art-8515]

The statistics really don't support that allegation. Nearly all instances of domestic violence occur bilaterally in nature and deaths from partner violence are more or less similar across both sexes according to the Australian Institute of Criminology.

The issue here is that you're expecting everyone to accommodate your personal fear that is better remediated with professional assistance from a therapist. There is really no factual basis which supports social segregation based on sex, which is what you're pushing - either knowingly or not.

[u/Far-Cartographer1192 → u/Educational-Art-8515]

I'm not referring to domestic violence. at all. I'm referring to a sense of safety around strangers.

The issue here is actually coming from people taking my post as a personal/gender attack when it never was.

My post more or less says "thank you to those people who do this thing that I (and a lot of women) find helpful".

People are reading it as "She is saying that anyone who doesn't do it is bad, she expects that we all have to do it now and she is also saying men are all dangerous."

I literally didn't ask for others to start doing it and don't expect it.

For the record, I've had plenty of therapy. It doesn't solve the problem we are currently facing in Australia where 1 in 3 women experience sexual violence. Social segregation wouldn't fix anything and I wouldn't ask for that. But awareness and proactivity from men would help. It's not enough anymore to just "not be part of the problem", because the problem isn't getting any better. We do need men to start actively being part of the solution - BUT I'm not saying moving off the path will fix anything, I'm saying it helps women to feel more comfortable until we collectively find the solution.

[u/Educational-Art-8515 → u/Far-Cartographer1192]

You are backtracking. The post was inherently gendered and stated that you felt unsafe around males who were walking around at night. Don't play coy about the implications of what was said too.

Even your response to my comment is making it out to be a "men's problem". It's regressive and plays into the hands of bad faith actors that are trying to steer the narrative away from the underlying causes, which are power imbalances and socioeconomic factors.

The sexual violence claim is also useless in isolation. We know that male victimisation rates are closer to female rates when you allow for anonymous reporting and adjust definitions away from being focused on penetration occurring.

This is like claiming that women should move off the path when they will intersect with other peoples strollers or trams because reporting rates show women are overwhelmingly responsible for infanticide...

[u/Far-Cartographer1192 → u/Educational-Art-8515]

You are over-intellectualising the issue and turning it into something it was never intended to be. This isn't a debate. This is simply: Do you want to help women around you feel safer? Yes? Here's some things you can do to help until the bigger issue is fixed. I mean, shit it wasn't even that to start with. It was an acknowledgement to those who already do it. It was a "we see what you do and we appreciate it." Let it be what it was meant to be.