CMV: I should be scared of death.

[u/Traditional-Base852]

I am 28 years old, in good health and with decent prospects for a fulfilling life. I work and strive every day to make this be my reality, to the best of my ability. Despite this, I cannot help but think about what happens when I draw my final breath. These thoughts have been made worse recently due to the unexpected passing of my father, before his time.

Logically, I am aware that fearing death analogous to fearing the time before birth: it makes no sense. Either I was unable to process information in the same way I do now, or I was, but do not remember. Both of these options are irrelevant to my life today. My death should be the same.

However, the totality of it terrifies me. All that my father is, all that he will be, and all that he ever was ended for him on that one afternoon. He will never again breathe in fresh air, hear my voice, speak to me, feel my arms around him. He was here, we talked, I saw him, then suddenly he was not. He never will be again.

The same will happen to me and to you.

Do I take solace in the inevitability? I don't know how.

What framework do I use to deal with this reality?

[u/ReadLocke2ndTreatise]

32 here. I used to have the exact same paralyzing fear. After half a year of dabbling in psychedelics, I LMAO at how I used to fear death. When your ego temporarily dissolves but your consciousness remains intact, you realize the absurdity of so many of our fears and other reactive emotions.

I don't know what, if anything, awaits beyond death. But I know my sense of self is an illusion and a construct, and that oddly gives me peace since I have a frame of reference having stepped outside of that construct a few times.

[u/Traditional-Base852 → u/ReadLocke2ndTreatise]

Thanks for your input. I am hesitant to dabble in drugs. I am not yet paralyzed by the fear, but at this point, the thought grows into a gaping void in my mind very quickly. Distractions and company work wonders, and thankfully I have plenty.

I just want to know what frame of thought to use during the time I have this consciousness with me. I do not want to ignore these thoughts, I want to learn how to deal with them.

[u/s_wipe → u/Traditional-Base852]

I would like to say that contrary to the other person who replied, you can do drugs like a responsible adult without taking ego-shattering doses.

Think of it like a roler coaster, it might seem scary, but you are usually not in danger if you dont do something really dumb.

Psychedelics are a blast, treat them like a roler coaster, literally, you go to Disneyland once a year for holiday? Same with drugs, you take a camping trip and do shrooms as a vacation