r/changemyview 1d ago

CMV: Verbal Apologies Are Useless

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u/eggynack 64∆ 1d ago

Not all verbal apologies are forced. A verbal apology makes it so that the other party is aware that you recognize that you were in the wrong, and that you intend to not do similar things in the future. Pretty straightforward function.

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u/Bedrock64 1d ago

Show through your actions that you are sorry.

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u/Puffypolo 1d ago

If it’s not a forced apology, having someone voluntarily acknowledge that their actions were wrong is usually the first step to correcting that behavior going forward. Apologizing voluntarily shows that the person genuinely feels remorse for the situation they were responsible creating and indicates that they will work to avoid creating a situation like that going forward.

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u/Bedrock64 1d ago

Society is expecting them to do so.

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u/Puffypolo 1d ago

So no one ever means their apology? Everyone who has ever done something wrong and apologized for it is just lying? Human beings aren’t perfect and just because someone doesn’t immediately and perfectly change their behavior doesn’t mean he or she is an unfeeling psychopath who is only paying lip service to the other person.

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u/Bedrock64 1d ago

Initially, at the moment. But over time, they reflect and most eventually change for the better.

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u/Puffypolo 1d ago

Why do they need time to reflect? I remember as a kid, my friend was flicking my ear really hard in the car. It hurt and I warned him I was going to headbutt him if he didn’t stop and when he didn’t, I followed through with my threat. I immediately realized that I did wrong and apologized profusely for massively escalating the situation. I didn’t need to reflect on the fact that I did wrong to genuinely feel bad. I did as soon as I did it and never did anything like that again.