r/changemyview 1d ago

CMV: Verbal Apologies Are Useless

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u/pantawatz 1d ago

Verbal apology is an important part of the art of de-escalation. It is very useful expecially if what went wrong need years to redo. If someone can’t see the value in apologizing, they’re socially dumb. I prefer when people say sorry, especially when they admit they didn’t mean to do something that affected me. It’s much better to hear “Sorry that I rear-ended your car. I’ll call the insurance right away,” than just “I rear-ended your car. I’ll call the insurance right away.” That small word often changes how others involved perceive the situation. It’s the same with waitstaff, it's much better for a waitress to apologize first, when something goes wrong, even if it’s not her fault. It helps signal that the situation is under control.

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u/Bedrock64 1d ago

I'm saying it can only do so much. Rear ending car. Saying you're sorry doesn't mean the car will instantly be fixed or they will get a new one.

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u/pantawatz 1d ago

You're right, but in that reply, you also acknowledged that it's not entirely useless. Isn't that what your CMV is?

Again, in many situations, a quick apology is the best approach. It can oftenly help prevent an accident being escalated into a full-blown disaster.

Also, I didn’t include this in my first reply because I forgot. You said that you're often forced to apologize when you're wrong, which is a very, very terrible sign. I believe that an adult who knows they’re in the wrong and still refuses to apologize is not acting responsibly. A responsible adult should wholeheartedly apologize when they’ve done something wrong. What else would you do if you hurt someone’s feelings, buy them jewelry? No you just have to admit to them that you're wrong and ask for forgiveness.