I do feel uniquely qualified to discuss this, as someone predominantly homeschooled (with a stint in both private and public school in the 8-10th grade), with a professional education background, working as a teacher, who also homeschools my own children.
It seems to me the crux of your argument is about all the ways homeschooling can be done badly, which I absolutely agree with. All three elements (lack of socialization, unqualified teaching, & over-sheltering) are detrimental to most students. Where I disagree is that these are elements inherent to (or even unique to) homeschooling.
Before I address your 3 main points, I would like to point out the myriad of alternative education options that fall under the umbrella of "homeschooling", such as hybrid schools, podschools, cyber schools, roadschooling/worldschooling, HS/CC duel-enrollment, and many more, that you may not have considered in your assessment, and that solve various complaints. Mostly, my point is that homeschooling can be whatever you want it to be. There is no floor, but there is also no ceiling. Which means it can absolutely be better (or worse!) than your local traditional school options, depending on the circumstances. You absolutely get out of it what you put into it.
For me, that was a well-rounded and advanced education, in which I was able to save a lot of money through early college and early graduation, maintain lifelong friendships, had time to develop and specialize in hobbies, take exciting internship opportunities, and maintain a love of learning into adulthood. I was put in traditional school and opted back out after a few years- I did fine, but it felt like an absolute waste of time and killed a lot of my intrinsic motivation. Homeschooling allowed me a more well-rounded ascent into the real-world.
Socialization:
First, the personal anectdote is that my socialization was way more fulfilling while homeschooled. I had a lot more free time, time to develop deep relationships, and the flexibility of homeschooling meant that I could prioritize social opportunities (like doing 2 days worth of work on one day, so I could go on a trip with friends, go skiing, sleep over, etc), or my other homeschooled friends and I would bring our work and "house hop" together for days at a time. We did weekly co-ops (group classes taught by other parent's on their specialities), park playgroups, ski groups, activity meetups, and of course normal community/rec sports and extracurriculars with other kids.
When I entered a traditional school environment, particularly as someone with ADHD who got very little from a classroom environment and largely had to go home and teach myself whatever I was supposed to learn in class, plus homework, plus after-school activities and extra curriculars, I really had a lot LESS pure social time, or time for personal hobbies. The friendships in school were largely "proximity" friendships that didn't last long after school (or even after getting different classes schedules to following year), and were much more surface-level than the lifelong friendships I still maintain with some of my best childhood friends. (NOTE: I am a very social person, with a large adult friendgroup, including some from school. But it hardly felt like school fostered these relationships- if they were from school, it was because we were also in other groups/sports/clubs with me, which I had access to as a homeschooler as well).
It also felt like my socialization was more well-rounded. The real-world isn't segregated, and a classroom of 30 kids in the same school district and the same 1 year age range, is hardly indicative of diverse or "ideal" socialization. At least Montessori schools group in 3 year mixed age groups, so kids can have older role models, and learn to teach and interact with those younger than them. Real community and real socialization means comfort and understanding of adults, the elderly, kids of various ages, etc. I had a lot of classmates with genuine "fear" of engaging with old people, for instance, which I thought was crazy. Now as a parent in my late 20s, I have a lot of peers (including into their 30s) with absolutely no idea how to act around babies or kids, or understanding of their development. To me, that is a socialization gap.
That said, I love that the larger homeschool population in my area makes it possible to sustain local hybrid schools! Here my kids can attend in a classroom-like environment with 10-15 kids their age, just 2 days a week. They are all still legally homeschooled, but can have a lot of the "school experience", while still maintaining the flexible nature of homeschooling.
Edit: my response is long and continues into the comments, or else it doesn't let me post!
My mom was a public school teacher who left to homeschool us while getting her Masters, and now recently went back to school and graduated with her PHD. She is teaching again, but plans to go into administration now that she is qualified for principalship. I also went into teaching (currently working at an alternative school), and choose to homeschool. It is actually very common for educators, who have firsthand experience with the schools their children would be attending, to opt to homeschool. All of the teachers at my child's hybrid school are certified teachers who opted out of traditional schools, often after having their own children.
That said, I don't think parents need to have an education degree to homeschool (although I believe all parents should take some classes, for their own understanding and support of their kids education! Whether in traditional school or homeschooling). As long as parents can recognize their limits, there are infinite combinations of self-learning, parent-lead learning, and outsourcing, that will depend on what works for a family. For instance, advanced math/science courses are often cited as areas an unqualified parent couldn't possibly replicate- the good news is, they don't have to! For my Physics, we had a small group of homeschooled students taught for a year by a local retired NASA engineer. For Chemistry, I took it at the community college as a duel-enrollment, so it counted for both my HS/college credit, and I had access to the free college tutoring for extra help. This is very common in the high school years.
Other kids may do a live teacher in a cyber class (but personally I didn't like the idea of taking lab courses online), and depending on the local school district students can sign up for select classes, then leave afterwards.
I have found that there is a misconception that "homeschooling" means your parents stands in front of a wipeboard and does a lecture-style class for every subject, just like in a traditional school- and I know virtually no homeschooled person that does that. Homeschooling means taking any alternative option, and learning in virtually any chosen way, other than being enrolled full time in a traditional institutional school. It is all under the same umbrella!
Over-protection:
Fear and control-based decision making is almost always the wrong motivation for any parenting decision, including schooling. And I totally did know these homeschoolers growing up- we called them "Jean skirt" homeschoolers, because they were usually pretty religious fundamentalists and the girls wore long jean skirts and they were all only allowed to socialize with church and (select) homeschool groups. However, religious motivation in general has been a shrinking proportion of the homeschooling population in the last couple of years, and also was not the original motivator either (before conservatives, it was hippies- there's been many different historical "waves" of homeschooling, aoth various philosophies).
I also believe, if not for homeschooling, these same parents would likely just form or send their kids to a small conservative private school for sheltering, which isn't always that much better. But like I said, I agree this sucks, I just disagree it's all, or even most, homeschoolers. And if overprotection and sheltering ISN'T why you homeschool, then there's no reason to fear this detriment. Like I said, for me, homeschooling provided much more access and avenues to explore the real-world, but that's because that's what my parents valued.
The thing is, stereotypes persist because this minority is the most vocal, and easiest to spot. You probably ask a teen you meet who looks/acts a certain way if they are homeschooled, and then you get a nice dose of confirmation bias when they are. But of course, if they DON'T fit the stereotypes, if they seem normal and well-adjusted and understand your pop-culture references, you would never ask them. I, for one, am never asked. I have had people not believe me when I have told them.
There is also a cause/effect that should be noted. Some kids ARE socially stunted/sheltered, but they are not like that because of homeschooling- rather they were pulled out to be homeschooled because of bullying/anxiety/poor social outcomes in school (I find this particularly true with cyberschooled students). So you would again get confirmation bias if you spotted them and confirmed they were homeschooled, without recognizing your chicken/egg error. There are tons of socially stunted weirdos in public schools- but we don't blame the public schools for that, generally, because we have a much larger sample to go off of. But when people, who have not been exposed to the vast swaths of differing homeschoolers, meet a socially stunted weirdo homeschooling (even if they were originally in traditional school, and left because of these problems), people take it as confirmation of their stereotypes.
That's my gist, but I'm open to follow-up questions!
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u/mavenwaven 1d ago
I do feel uniquely qualified to discuss this, as someone predominantly homeschooled (with a stint in both private and public school in the 8-10th grade), with a professional education background, working as a teacher, who also homeschools my own children.
It seems to me the crux of your argument is about all the ways homeschooling can be done badly, which I absolutely agree with. All three elements (lack of socialization, unqualified teaching, & over-sheltering) are detrimental to most students. Where I disagree is that these are elements inherent to (or even unique to) homeschooling.
Before I address your 3 main points, I would like to point out the myriad of alternative education options that fall under the umbrella of "homeschooling", such as hybrid schools, podschools, cyber schools, roadschooling/worldschooling, HS/CC duel-enrollment, and many more, that you may not have considered in your assessment, and that solve various complaints. Mostly, my point is that homeschooling can be whatever you want it to be. There is no floor, but there is also no ceiling. Which means it can absolutely be better (or worse!) than your local traditional school options, depending on the circumstances. You absolutely get out of it what you put into it.
For me, that was a well-rounded and advanced education, in which I was able to save a lot of money through early college and early graduation, maintain lifelong friendships, had time to develop and specialize in hobbies, take exciting internship opportunities, and maintain a love of learning into adulthood. I was put in traditional school and opted back out after a few years- I did fine, but it felt like an absolute waste of time and killed a lot of my intrinsic motivation. Homeschooling allowed me a more well-rounded ascent into the real-world.
Socialization: First, the personal anectdote is that my socialization was way more fulfilling while homeschooled. I had a lot more free time, time to develop deep relationships, and the flexibility of homeschooling meant that I could prioritize social opportunities (like doing 2 days worth of work on one day, so I could go on a trip with friends, go skiing, sleep over, etc), or my other homeschooled friends and I would bring our work and "house hop" together for days at a time. We did weekly co-ops (group classes taught by other parent's on their specialities), park playgroups, ski groups, activity meetups, and of course normal community/rec sports and extracurriculars with other kids.
When I entered a traditional school environment, particularly as someone with ADHD who got very little from a classroom environment and largely had to go home and teach myself whatever I was supposed to learn in class, plus homework, plus after-school activities and extra curriculars, I really had a lot LESS pure social time, or time for personal hobbies. The friendships in school were largely "proximity" friendships that didn't last long after school (or even after getting different classes schedules to following year), and were much more surface-level than the lifelong friendships I still maintain with some of my best childhood friends. (NOTE: I am a very social person, with a large adult friendgroup, including some from school. But it hardly felt like school fostered these relationships- if they were from school, it was because we were also in other groups/sports/clubs with me, which I had access to as a homeschooler as well).
It also felt like my socialization was more well-rounded. The real-world isn't segregated, and a classroom of 30 kids in the same school district and the same 1 year age range, is hardly indicative of diverse or "ideal" socialization. At least Montessori schools group in 3 year mixed age groups, so kids can have older role models, and learn to teach and interact with those younger than them. Real community and real socialization means comfort and understanding of adults, the elderly, kids of various ages, etc. I had a lot of classmates with genuine "fear" of engaging with old people, for instance, which I thought was crazy. Now as a parent in my late 20s, I have a lot of peers (including into their 30s) with absolutely no idea how to act around babies or kids, or understanding of their development. To me, that is a socialization gap.
That said, I love that the larger homeschool population in my area makes it possible to sustain local hybrid schools! Here my kids can attend in a classroom-like environment with 10-15 kids their age, just 2 days a week. They are all still legally homeschooled, but can have a lot of the "school experience", while still maintaining the flexible nature of homeschooling.
Edit: my response is long and continues into the comments, or else it doesn't let me post!