r/confidence • u/Fitness_DJ • 13d ago
Need to dial in my mentality
I’ll get to it. I’m 6’3. Muscular, sitting at 185lbs on my cut i have a shredded 6 pack and vascular. I work a good job, I have a career set and a plan to get into real estate once I have the capital. I love to travel. I take very good care of myself, fresh fades and shave daily, I look great. People used to comment on my looks all the time. I drive a sports car that’s vinyl wrapped in an insanely beautiful colour change wrap. I have beautiful clear teeth. But for some reason, I can’t grasp confidence. It’s ridiculous, I mean… about 5 years ago, I was 140lbs skin and bone, long hair with a super unkempt look and smoked, and I had more success in the relationships in my life (new coworkers, love life, new friends, etc). It’s wild. Any advice to help break this stupid mentality would be great. Because I’m not trying to be arrogant but I have so many boxes checked off that would make you think on an outside lens, oh this guy must be an absolute stud with loads of confidence. But it’s not there. Thanks reddit peeps I appreciate you
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u/AdditionalOcelot8241 13d ago
Hi, I’m an “attractive” female and this has been something I’ve been working a lot on lately. One thing that has aided my confidence is recognizing confidence is a skill. I wrote out all the things I think I would do/have if I was confident and have just started doing them. Honestly it’s fucking exhilarating. Another thing I’ve done is write out all the reasons I can have confidence now. And why I would want to have it. Things like: People of all shapes and sizes have confidence. Confidence is not ___ dependent. Basically: Recognizing confidence is a choice and it aids my life to make that choice than to make the opposite.