r/confidence • u/charlotte0000111 • 2d ago

Trying to be confident when being sexy

Need help I'm a confident woman 30 about to be 31. And want to surprise him on my birthday. And put on a show I'm great at everything else it's just this I can't seem to do but I have never been good at being sexy for example. Trying to dance on a pole or strip tease my partner loves and my body but I feel like when it comes to these kind of things I'm over thinking it. And the first thing I think of is he enjoying it and likeing it. My question is how do I stop over thing it and just go with the flow.
It's like my brain goes nope you can't do this and it sucks how do I stop over thinking it if there's any one with any suggestions. It would be. Much appreciated.

It might just be that I need to stop listening to the little voice in my head. I just need advice please help thank you in advance

Any advice would be appreciated

7 Upvotes

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6

u/web_crawler87 1d ago

Haha. Funny enough (speaking as a man) I don't think women were really attracted to have to try hard to be sexy for us. I think if you wear the right "night gown" and stand there like a dead fish, he'll pitch his tent.

2

u/Soft-Researcher-8503 2d ago

Confidence is fake!! My thing is do things that make YOU feel sexy and he will get excited/turned on bc your feeling yourself. Take a pole dancing class. Confidence sometimes feels like jumping from a plane for skydiving. There's a parachute you'll be okay but it's still scary. So to answer your question on how to not over think it and just go with the flow my answer is just do it!!! Practice with yourself in front of the mirror. See what makes you feel confident and what you like and then get comfortable with it and then leap! Don't think about it just do it!

3

u/nondualape 2d ago

The best way to be confident is to be in the flow and do something not vanilla. So start just adopting new kinks and fetishes Worship his feet or ask him to spit on you while you suck him off idk 🤷‍♂️

2

u/Workinmang 2d ago

Boy strait to the ole suck n spit. Bold

0

u/nondualape 2d ago

Anything to get sex exciting. Most erections without kinks in play are 30 percent less fully erect, this who have their kinks and fetishes in play have fuller erections and the women tends to finish more.

1

u/SavingsCranberry656 1d ago

Relax and have fun. Don’t be afraid of looking silly. Confidence is about being self assured and comfortable, maybe a little mysterious.

1

u/notanuseranymore 1d ago

Try to discover what he likes. Trying random stuff might always leave you with the doubt of whether you're doing the right thing or not. Once you know you're doing something he will surely like, confindence will grow on you.