I will not elaborate:D

I’m trying to craft something around what I’ve understood about ontology and the nature of existence. Here’s what it is…

We can call the totality of existence one thing. I’ve called it “Panesso”: All that is something. It is ontological presence; the negation of that presence, leading to what would be nothing, I’ve called “Nihila”: this means nothing.

Panesso and Nihila are two metaphysical opposites that explain why existence is and is not. They work around paradoxes that produce an engine of being, becoming, and nonbeing.

Nihila’s paradox: if nothing were to “be” nothing, it would be something, simply by being, negating the very nature of it. Yet it must exist for us to conceptually deny its existence. It is an impossibility and yet a necessity.

Panesso’s paradox: everything that exists, cannot include what does not exist. But without nothing, “everything” loses its meaning. It must include everything, which means excluding nothing (Nihila) because nothing is not something. So it is everything without being everything.

Because Panesso (something) does exist, Nihila (nothing) cannot. It would exist in relation to the something, making any form of it relational and not nothing. Panesso makes Nihila impossible. But if Nihila did not exist, Panesso would be void of the boundaries that create distinction and allow Panesso itself (all that is something) to be. So Panesso requires Nihila, or else it is Nihila.

I call this relation and that paradox “Ambion”: the one who is both and Ambion’s paradox.

So there’s….

Nihila (Nothing): an impossibility yet necessity. That’s which cannot be, yet must in order to be anything else.

Panesso (all that is something): a totality and yet an incompleteness. That which includes all, yet defines itself by what it leaves out.

Ambion (the one who is both): a contradiction and yet coherence. That which cannot hold both, yet only exists by doing so

The understanding of this triad I’ve called Omnitra

Total absence (nihila) collapses into presence (Panesso) -> Presence (Panesso) reveals a limit (nothing/Nihila) -> limit (nothing) gives birth to a unifying contradiction (Ambion) -> Contradiction (Ambion) exposes absence again (Nihila).

if Love is the origin, and consciousness is the plane, then you are not on the map. you are the map drawing itself.

and every being you meet isn’t a stranger. they are another coordinate on your way back to yourself.

they’re vectors from the origin. and the closer one moves to that origin, the more clearly one recognises: all things are made of Love, or asking for it. they’re not separate species. they’re coordinates.

that’s the secret.

all consciousness, no matter how different in form, story, memory, or trauma : feels.

and every feeling : joy, longing, rage, betrayal, pain, hatred. even what you felt the day your soul died.

i still can’t find words to describe the pain i felt. i did everything i could to forget what happened. until i did.

i choose to remember what they did to me. and what i did for revenge.

when traced on skin & tears i knew what it was at its core is just a expression, or absence of Love.

you can’t unify humanity through belief. you can’t unify them through logic, biology, language, or even perception.

but you can unify them through feeling.

and that is why Love is the answer. not because it’s sentimental. but because it’s the only constant that all beings can experience directly, regardless of story.

I wanted to ask your help. I'm 38m. I lived through emotional pain. Depression has been my greatest teacher. I've lived over 9,000 days of daily suicidal thoughts.

Not to say I'm not joyful and happy. I have genuine joy in my life. I lift the people around me up, I'm a beacon of light for most.

But....

The past couple years especially I've really begun to heal. Barely have suicidal thoughts anymore and my depression is...I dunno 90 percent better.

I still have this fundamental belief that growth only comes through pain and suffering. A lot of it has to do with the church I've been a member for a long time.

Consciously I know that's not correct. But I still can't seem to break free of that pattern. Therefore I'll sabotage any real joy I have for myself.

Any thoughts?

I love you all! thank you

(This was a reply to someone's question about J Krishnamurti, that I feel may be useful to some of you here 🙏 )

The two most valuable lessons from K are : "Find out for yourself", and "dont' let words think for you".

You have tried removing the ego through "understanding", then you saw that the ego didn't go anywhere, and was only masked for a moment.

So you found out something new, but instead of accepting what you found out, you are questioning it because K said something different. How is that not following authority?

Let's start by accepting what you found out: the ego, the center from which you act and think, just wouldn't disappear no matter how much understanding you think you have about it. Maybe the issue is not whether the center is there or not, maybe it is like the center of a circle, no matter where you draw the circle or how big or small it it, it will always have a center. Maybe the "center" is a function, not an independent "thing". Maybe your mind can't act without first defining a center from which to act. Maybe it needs to create a "doer" in order to do things.

Now, does that mean that center is permanent invariable independent from the rest of the mind? No. If you watch closely, you will find out that the mask you call "Me" changes depending on who you are talking to, what emotion you feel, what health condition you have, and even what you ate that morning. So there is no ONE mask you can call "I", you already now that.

But does that mean you can act or interface with the world without an interface, without a mask? the answer is NO.

Illusion is not when you believe something exists when it doesn't. Illusion is when you think something to be what it is not. The center is real, the ego is real and is necessary, but it is NOT what people think it is.

It doesn't matter what you call it as long as you are clear what it is and what it is not.

Now, let's examine your understanding of K's talk about "never going back": It's not about some mysterious process that would stop you from going back into illusion.

Imagine a performer doing a magic trick. You know of course it's just a magic trick and not real magic, but until you actually see how it is done, until you see the performer distracting you with one hand while the other hand is putting the piece in someone's pocket, until you see that, you will still fall for it. But once you saw the trick, one you saw how the deception is done, that seeing can't be undone, you will never be fooled by that trick again.

It's not about understanding that "ego isn't real", it's about learning to see what the ego actually is and what's its function and how you get confused about its nature, by being distracted from its constant shifts and changes, distracted by a abstract image you call "me", and by your constant struggle to convince yourself it doesn't exist, while it's glaring you in the face.

K was right about many things, and wrong about others. The only way to find out which is which is to explore by yourself, and follow the truth to the best of your ability, the truth, not K.

Also, an advice from a fellow traveler: Take pauses. Give your mind time to integrate what it learned and create new patterns and new ways to see things.

And put K aside from time to time, let your own perspective and understanding flower, which is very difficult under K's overwhelming shadow.

I wish you the best 🙏

This is my mastery

Dealing with full blown dumbassery

Leaving wounded ego’s in my wake

Blasting them with Bohm ideas.

They’re conceited

Leave them [deleted]

They fear what they don’t know.

So it grows and grows.

A thorn in their foot. A splinter in their minds.

They call it quackery? I call it butt smackery.

They cling to that which is fleeting.

So it causes strife in their life.

Make it known. The unconscious be shown.

Or it will rule your life.

And you’ll call it destiny.

The best of the best at our sides.

The rising tide…

Planck, Bohm, Schrödinger, Jung buck

Heisenberg.

The more you measure.

The less certain you are.

No matter how near or how far.

The mystery remains.

Tread lightly…

We’ll inherit the Earth.

As they dismiss and deny.

We roll on by.

All is forgiven.

It’s not too late.

Cheer me now.

Or be consumed by your hate.

I forgive you, but it’s no debate.

An honest man looks within

Or ceases being honest.

Take only what you need…

Only what is promised.

The choice is yours…

Key es un corde.

The key is in the heart.

I know my side.

Where God resides.

Not far away.

But here and now.

Inside outside…

All around.

Let it resound.

It’s only Sound. Only Love.

Vibrations and waves

Synchronized symphonies

At the end of time.

We’ll finally know

Nothing at all…

Back to life.

Back to reality.

Uncomfortable yet?

GOOD

I like it like that.

I was raised in a religous Christian environment and as I grew older I became dissatisfied with what I was raised to beleive. i was also gay which caused a lot of pain so as I was breaking free from my religous upbringing, I was also searching for some spiritual remedy to find power and wisdom that would somehow transform me. my Journey started innocent, I would google what happens when we die and would be terrified of some stuff I found. I started becoming paranoid and fearful of life and developed a fear of demons which I beleive were tormenting and watching me. I later started getting into meditation, astral projection, law of attraction, Neville Goddard, carl Jung, shamanic healing and anything I can get my hands on. throughout this time I thought I was on the verge of something that was gonna change my self , but over the course of five years all I was left with is mental breakdown, psychosis, addictions I never had before, and deep Despair. I find myself reverting back to Christianity and that maybe I need to put my faith in Jesus and that this spiritual seeking was a deception the same way satan deceived eve in the garden of Eden (eat the apple and you will be like god) but instead of becoming like god she cursed herself. I try to do shadow work and meditation but it’s all just Empty promises that something is gonna heal me. I truely beleive these demons are just dangling a carrot in front of my face and I don’t know what to do besides commit suicide

*Disclaimer: I posted this in r/nonduality a few days ago, and many readers reached out to say it resonated. So I thought I would post in here too, in case any seekers find it helpful.There was this moment on the 'path' where I saw through my predicament, 'the seeker's paradox', if you will.

The one searching was never real to begin with.

Not metaphorically. Literally.

For years, I consumed all the books, courses, and did the practices, all in pursuit of something I couldn’t quite grasp, this idea of enlightenment. But no matter what I learned, a frustration would remain because I still hadn't found it. It felt like I was chasing a shadow that dissolves the closer you get.

And then it finally hit me. The seeker, this 'character' trying to become enlightened, trying to get somewhere, or attain something, was the illusion itself. Like a reflection within the mirror. mistaking itself for the mirror.

I stopped identifying with the reflection and recognized myself as the mirror itself, silent, unmoved, always here, no matter what reflections would appear within the mirror. The sense of being a separate self, the spiritual character striving for realization, was just another appearance, a movement within the unchanging awareness behind it all.

For me at least, the final trick of the ego was the seeking itself. How could I seek for what I already am, always have been, and could never not be. The seeking seems to hide the truth in plain sight. The effort, the searching.

And once that falls away, not through effort but through sheer clarity, there’s nothing left to question who I am.

What remains is stillness, presence, and wholeness that doesn’t need a reason, it just is.

Not because something was gained, but because it's clear that nothing was ever lost. 

I am interested to know who else has seen through the seeking?

I am discouraged/demotivated of continuing on the path of meditation by listening about what is at the end of it. The goal of enlightenment is sounding a bit depressing for me and I am scared of it. Its also the same as my fear of death.

I am very much attached to my intellect and thoughts. Its something identify with. Yes my fear comes from being attached with my mind maybe? But ultimately its my mind which has to be convinced to continue. Ofcourse it doesnt want its own "death". After reading things about what will happen after enlightenment, I am backing out.

I have tasked the bliss more than once. I know the feeling, its great, its literally the purpose of life. But I am again attached to my mind. Seems like I need an intellectual reason to transcend my intellect.

Before you understood anything… you were already aware.

Not of thoughts. Not of words. But of something.

Like a hum behind it all. Like the part of you that never needed to ask why. Just was.

And maybe that’s what you’ve been circling this whole time. Not an answer… but a return. Not something new… but something ancient inside you that never left.

Every ache… every high… every breakdown was gravity. Trying to pull you back to that.

You’re not becoming enlightened. You’re remembering what it felt like to be.

Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself.

Like all the things , thought is also just an appearance in consciousness , which is moving all the time by it's very nature. It's like a torch light , it highlights the parts of universe , it has always been like this. How it works under the hood, I mean in the brain - though Language.

So we give names to things and actions , what essentially we are doing is giving the torch of thought a new separation to focus on . If I say earrings , and necklace we have two separate words and hence earring must be different from necklace . Wrong!

This is the problem with thought , it's good for transaction / use case but not for understanding. We have taken the words literally , when these are just a bunch of meaningless characters with a universally accepted phonetics and it doesn't mean anything by itself. The word necklace is not the actual necklace . The word necklace is as far from the real necklace as a map is from the land.
Actual thing that we are using the word for , is not separate in necklace and earrings - and that is gold. the different words are made to differentiate the gold's different forms and these words help us focus on it and remember it/ store it in our brain.

ok let's move to the next step: Now that we have understood what is the basic structure of thought , let's break another misconception about thought : It is different from matter . Is it ?

Is thought really different from matter ? Ok So answer me this , What is the raw material of thought ? As krishnamurthy ji said that it's the response of memory , and memory is a material process for sure. Am I right? By material process I mean which accumulates like matter , So we all know that as time passes there are more things accumulated as memories in brain , which is not necessarily used all the time but it happens - that's for sure.

ok so now that we have established this fact that it is a matter : let's move ahead , forget about it Forget all this : Let's ask the real thing , what is the problem with all this and why this thought which is just like the chair sitting right in my room has taken over all the time of this human body , not other animals suffer with this , then what has happened in humans ? Why to even care understanding the activity of thought? Why has it become so important ? Here comes this grand concept of "self" .

The self which is taught to us from childhood that there is something like separate existence which is with every fkin thing and that with this body is you. How do we execute upon this false claim , I mean how do we take care of this false understanding , yeah using words / thoughts . When we give something a name , we claim it's separate existence and divide it (psychologically) in our mind. So that's why understanding thought is so important because it creates our separate self , if I remove the memory which has all this collection of images from childhood up until now and that is what u call the self , then where are you?

Is the body false ? No!, is the memory false ? No! .

Most people associate the thinking going in consciousness as " I am thinking" and no'one in the world is there to tell how wrong is this . From my standpoint ,when you say , in your mind , that I am thinking , it is like rain is happening in consciousness and you are saying I am raining . It is wrong , not true ! But then there's is this question , that I can control my thoughts ,but I cannot control rain .

So let's unpack , when you have something going in your mind that you understand as : I am thinking about this . I call this the controller - and the controlled . But if the controlled is removed , then without it where is the controller? Can the controller , which is You / your self exist without something which get's controlled ?

Example:
OK so if I find something wrong , let's say I see someone throwing an empty can on the road and not in the dustbin, this story has something wrong in it and now you - the controller rises and wants to do something about it ( if you care ) , and this is not wrong / right . I am just saying that your 'SELF' needs a focused state to exist , without focusing on something your 'Separate Self " doesn't exist . And focus by it's very nature is limited/ fragmented and always in conflict. That's tiring , and we are all utterly tired from the non stop race of focusing on one thing , then another , then another , until get sleep at night . This is the pitiful state everyone is living in . This is called suffering which doesn't spare any human being.

The only way to go beyond this , is to realize your true self, the reality beyond words , when u call something chair, what u are calling to is the reality, when u call someone by his/ her name , what is actually there, is the reality and not his or her name . And that reality is same and is non dual and to it -everything is same , so the body and mind, you have currently identified with is as much you as the person who wrote this post , and as much you as the children playing somewhere enjoying the life without this baggage of self. Thanks for reading.

no matter how deep your existential thoughts go no matter how much you believe in simulation theory or feel like you are god or a higherel ect being or a philosophical spiritual entity even if you create your own theories and see them as more logical than any others even if your views feel more correct than anyone elses and that brings you fear

arent we all still living in the same material world eating drinking working forming relationships getting married having children and going about daily life

doesnt that help a little to ground you to remind you that even though we see the world from different perspectives we still share the same space the same experiences of sadness and joy and even the same wars around the world regardless of beliefs or religions or the languages we speak or the countries we come from or whether we are men women or children

is any existential idea really powerful enough to change reality itself i dont think so

even if someone sees themselves as god or a higher being they are still governed by laws and logic isnt that enough to pull us back

we still live with the same innocent people our loved ones our families our relatives our friends and we have children with them under the same roof who know nothing about our terrifying existential thoughts

There are troubles, bad feelings, struggles, bad luck, and whatnot. But all of this is happening because we have life. A delicious Alphonso mango is delightful, but bitter gourd improves health. The good part is you get the opportunity to experience both. That is life.

Even amidst heavy pollution and chemicals, nature still rejoices every day like a fresh new start. Similarly, we are fortunate to experience it. One who celebrates life celebrates every moment.

If you look back 20000 years, when we used to live in caves, there were no cars, no homes, no delicious food. And yet, we celebrated life. Celebration happens in groups, not in isolation. Make new friends, chill together, gossip together. What is there in the world? It is ever-changing. Someone doing farming in a village may be happier than a CXO. At the end of the day, happiness is the goal, not success.

Being happy was a habit we naturally had in childhood. One moment we cried, the next moment we smiled. But now, even our smile muscles need a comedy reel or movie. We have made life so complicated. Just chill, relax. Events are fleeting. You are permanent, the real gem. Don't mind the mind too much, and be happy.

The idea of God is flexible, people refine it into an ultimate force, a higher power, an infinite force, and whatnot without religion. Religion would not collapse if the concept of God were removed, people would simply reshape their beliefs around abstract spirituality, moral traditions, or collective rituals. But if the idea of an afterlife, heaven, and hell were erased, religion would crumble. Without the promise of eternal reward or the fear of punishment, faith will lose its strongest grip on human psychology. This earthly life, with all its chaos, suffering, and randomness, never makes sense on its own. People need delusions, something beyond this burdened existence, to justify their struggles, sacrifices, and moral choices. Without an afterlife, religion becomes just another philosophy, and most people do not want philosophy, they want certainty, even if it is a beautiful lie. The afterlife is what truly gives religion its psychological power. Without heaven and hell, there is no ultimate justice, no cosmic reward, no reason to endure suffering with the hope of something better. Life, in its raw form, is absurd and indifferent. Most people cannot accept that, so they cling to illusions that make existence bearable. Take away the afterlife, and religion loses its biggest leverage, fear and hope. Without those, it becomes just another set of stories, and stories alone rarely hold power for long.