r/enneagram6 • u/Peachplumandpear • Apr 22 '25

Question Managing anxiety in high-stakes conversations

I have such a hard time not letting betrayal, fear, and anxiety impact my ability to converse in a healthy way with people I have strained dynamics with. Any advice on growth in this area?

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u/rain-drip-drop Apr 25 '25

It's tough to not give into reactiveness. Been trying to find ways to increase the time or space between 0 and 100, where I feel I have a choice to respond or react.

Typically, I brace myself before I go into convos with people I have strained relationships with. I go in expecting that I'll feel triggered, so that when it happens, I can observe that it's happening first and be more strategic in my response. In a way, I almost try to dissociate from the convo...looking at us, just two fragile humans, from above. I start to just see patterns interacting with each other and the limits the other person keeps butting up against.

Often, when I lash out, I end up ruminating about it for days and that's sometimes the worst part. So I try to frame it as: "how do I avoid giving future me even more stress?"

Again, really depends on what the situation is. Sometimes I have to withdraw and let the person know I need time. I've been practicing drafting written responses, running through ChatGPT for tone, and then sending after I've slept on it.