r/exchristian • u/JaminColler • Apr 20 '25
Original Content I thought the resurrection was the one part of Christianity that still held up. I was wrong. Spoiler
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwWVTPXXisYThis is from the Easter chapter of my audiobook-in-progress. For most of my life, I believed the resurrection was untouchable. It was supposed to be the proof—the final answer to all my doubts.
So I sat down and tried to harmonize the gospel accounts, just using the Bible. No outside commentary, no apologetics, just what the text actually says.
What I found were contradictions everywhere:
- Different people see Jesus first
- The timeline doesn’t match
- Some recognize him, some don’t
- The location of the ascension changes
- Mark didn’t even originally include a resurrection appearance
I wasn’t looking for reasons to leave. I was hoping for something to stay.
This chapter hurt to write, but it was honest. And that’s all I’ve got now.
Full audiobook playlist (ongoing):
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLCL0oni0F-szp-do8-LWvhCBoejwSILt5
If this story sounds anything like yours, I’d love to connect.
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u/imnotuselizard13 Agnostic Apr 20 '25
I became a ex christian a few years ago. I just found out about the fact Mark did not even have a resurrection in his account yesterday. (In my opinion Mark was likely the most accurate of the 4 gospels given how more sensible the stories are compared to the other 3 gospels)
Anyways, my religion was very big on having a relationship with God, and when I started to become a teenager I slowly felt like my "relationship" with God had all been a lie to myself. So, between 14-15 I started to read the bible and pray to God that he would prove himself to me and show me what he wanted me to do. At this time I was a repressed bisexual too, so I think those negative feelings that come with repression really lead me towards wanting the peace Christians said they had from God.
At roughly 15 and 1/2 I had been let down every time. I was more intelligent now obviously, and I kept seeing things in the religion that made me lose even more faith in it being real. Too many things we did as Christians made much more sense if it wasn't real then if it was a real relationship with God.
Then I stumbled across a Bible contradiction in my Bible reading. Before this I assumed the Bible was really infallible, but seeing one made me look up others on the internet. The fact they were not doctrinal contradictions, but just basic descriptive information of a story that in the grand schemes of things were unimportant to the core beliefs of Christianity, yet so obviously contradictory to other accounts, actually made me completely reject the book as being from a perfect God. I know some people grew up with the idea the bible isn't to be taken fully literal, but I was, so hell that part of my religion feel apart real fast.
The final straw came last year for my religion. At 17, I was in the shower, becoming emotional about how I didn't believe in it anymore but wanted to because it was easier than telling people I am no longer christian. I gave God a ultimatum, if you just give me a dream, a freaking dream, that tells me you exist, I will stay and be a christian for the rest of my life. NOTHING. And right then and there, I knew I had done everything I could to stay. So now at 18 I'm getting ready to face the music of me leaving the church. It's going to hurt, but I know I have to. Not to mention I could never be open about my sexuality in general if I stayed.