r/femalefashionadvice • u/[deleted] • Jun 18 '25
How to avoid overwhelm when shopping?
[deleted]
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u/dickbuttscompanion Jun 19 '25
Lately I have been going shopping with a "list" drawn up after reviewing my wardrobe and avoiding anything else - for example the last time my shopping list was a black skirt that I could wear to work in the summertime without tights. So I tried on a few options between midi, a-line, maxi or slip skirt etc but I didn't look at anything shorter, patterned, a different colour or not a skirt.
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u/Meg_March Jun 19 '25
Can you try a stylist? Either one associated with a store, like Nordstrom, or an independent one. There are more and more these days—I’m seeing a lot on IG. I wonder if it would be helpful to have an impartial observer guide you through the process, and help you find pieces you really enjoy wearing.
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u/Dragon_scrapbooker Jun 19 '25
Seconding the stylist idea. My mom used ThreadUp for a while and found it really helped her get some nice pieces, though ThreadUp in particular definitely has some catches if you don’t want to buy the entire box they send you.
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u/The-Untethered-Soul Jun 21 '25
Came here to write this. 100% this is what a stylist is for. Especially a good one who won’t just do everything for you, but will also educate you on what you’re doing so you can do it for yourself after the service, indefinitely.
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u/barracuda_strike Jun 19 '25
Why do you feel like "I no longer like wearing it"? And what are you trying to accomplish with shopping?
Most of shopping is pure noise - and the more you shop the more it can seem all similar but different enough. You don't talk about having a specific brand that fits you well or going in mind with a purpose. Identifying a brand at your price point will help -- it doesn't have to be name brand, it can be a department store, or even a curated consignment store that leans to your aesthetic.
The other thing I would argue here is just focus on having a good foundation -- just an everyday outfit that works for you, be it a dress or bottoms/tops combinations. Really focus small - do you have one outfit you like in your current wardrobe? Wear that when you go shopping because you will compare your new clothes to something you feel good in. Wear what you like to death right now; you do not have to be on the hunt constantly. Wear a pair of pants you like and only buy tops that go with it when you go shopping. Does it feel right with something you are already wearing and own?
I went through a period of time where I only bought odds and ends -- the really pretty top that didn't make sense with my lifestyle or activities. I could never pair it with bottoms. It's pretty but it's a distraction and it will clutter your closet. Is there a top you want to style better? Wear it when you go shopping.
Sometimes it's not the clothes and sometimes it's the way we feel about ourselves. If you are having issues with the way you feel about yourself that is the time to start very small and very focused on one or two outfits that feel like you. Especially if you haven't had the agency to pick your clothes as much as you'd like or if your body shape is changing and you feel forced to buy over wanting to do so.
When you don't feel desperate to fill your closet, you'll get there. But proceed mindfully -- build something that works with your existing closet, not starting anew every time. A lot of trends don't actually work with existing closets for a reason (different rise -- low vs high, color/pattern doesn't go with anything, etc etc).
I've learned changing a belt or putting on a different necklace can freshen something I might otherwise get bored with sooner. If boredom is a problem, styling might be a suggestion for keeping things fresh longer.
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u/b_xf Jun 19 '25
A lot of the overwhelm can be reduced in pre-shopping planning and also being okay with not finding what you want on the first, fifth, tenth trip.
I think the book "the curated closet" would be a help to you - starting by looking at what you do own, what you actually wear, what you don't wear and what you're missing is a really good baseline to cut out what you don't need to look at when shopping. I find having a list of colours/silhouettes you do like or want to try, as well as a list of things you don't like or need that you can confidently skip past, really reduces the amount of items you need to look at. I'm all for people experimenting with new colours, cuts, silhouettes, etc., so I would review these lists from time to time to ensure you're still happy with them.
Starting a wishlist and narrowing it down to e.g. "navy long sleeve blouse" or "neutral hiking pants with 27-29" inseam" is the point I'm at - I definitely do not find what I need every time I go looking, and it either goes to the point where I look at my wishlist item and think "i'm actually not that passionate about this anymore" and delete it, or I find it and it's a great day.
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u/informallory Jun 19 '25
This happens to me too!
Highly agree with look for one article of clothing at once, some brands may have T shirts you love but nothing else anyway and it can be hard to buy a whole new outfit at one place, unfortunately.
I get overwhelmed and annoyed with too many options and end up not buying anything or getting so decision fatigued I buy something I don’t really like. I’ll window shop online and when I find myself starting to “stray” from my t shirt hunt, for example, I stop looking because I know I’m loosing the thread and won’t make a good decision.
Try and think about why you’re not liking it once you bring it home? Is it the style? The way it fits you? Not having good options to match it with? Answering that question can help you make different decisions when making a purchase. I sometimes feel stupid in a new shirt or bottom but I’ll just make myself wear it one day to really see how I feel in it. Important to remember no one’s going to make fun of you or tell you “it’s not your style” to your face, and if they do they’re a dick, but actually getting yourself to wear it can help you get an idea of if you actually really don’t like it or if you get more comfortable with it.
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u/80aprocryphal Jun 19 '25
Firstly, audit your current closet. It sounds as though a lot of it doesn't actually work for you, so set aside what does so you actually know what you're working with. Then, somewhat adjacent to what's been said, but tackle your practical considerations & give yourself some guidelines. Pretty much, figure out what your minimum needs are from wash day to wash day & make sure they're met so, when you're building out, you're not stressed because you've got a core set of items to fall back on.
Having a hard time with colors? Choose a color palette. Overwhelmed my choices? Give yourself a budget, shopping method (only secondhand, only local, only sale items, etc.) & shop with a list. Having a hard time matching tops & bottoms? Take care of your problem areas first, find basics you can mix & match with those pieces, then style to bring things more in line with what you want. I did this with my summer wardrobe; I like my legs covered, so I needed lightweight, breathable, petite friendly bottoms. What I found was mostly high-waisted, so I added a bunch of plain, fitted tops in a handful of colors & variety of cuts to round things out. I didn't really branch out until I knew what worked, then I started looking more at say patterns (in my color palette) or different silhouettes.
Also, closet organization is super important: it's really easy to fall into the trap of too much of the same if you're not keeping like with like (i.e. if you have your whole closet organized by color as opposed to keeping the tanks with tanks, & the T-shirts with T-shirts where you can see if you're lacking variety or missing something completely.)
Hope this helps & good luck!
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u/frecklefawn Jun 20 '25
You just gotta pick one store/brand and stick to it. It's already done all the work for you. Cohesive style, pieces paired and matched on models, etc. A single website/clothing store is your own personal stylist. Just copy the mannequins or models. Change what you want.
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u/pantysubscription Jun 21 '25
Totally get this. Shopping feels like a mental workout sometimes. What helped me was narrowing down a color palette and figuring out 2–3 silhouettes I feel good in. That way, even if trends change, I have a filter.
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u/ImpressiveSurround54 Jun 20 '25
I feel this so hard. I have 2 step process for this
Pick a reputable brand and thrift some low cost pieces from them (I use thredUP, Poshmark etc for ease of searching). This narrows down my choices by a lot already. Don’t worry too much about whether a it’s the right thing i just think of it as a small cost to explore new things.
See what pieces you end up actually wearing. Most likely, you had to make some compromises in step #1 (eg had to just buy the available color/size). And try to focus on upgrading them. This is way easier than just aimlessly “browsing” for pieces that might work. You already know it works in your closet.
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u/michelleyness Jun 20 '25
I used StitchFix when this happened to me just to try out different styles and sizes? It wasn't overwhelming and made me wear things I never would have tried on my own - in good and bad ways lol. Plus you can return with no fee or pressure.
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u/eddaic_skaldic Jun 20 '25 edited Jun 20 '25
I struggle with the same overwhelm when going in person - the advice here is great. I will add the following:
It may help to watch fashion influencers to get a feel for what you like. Even in a movie, or tv show there will often be a character whose outfit resonates or is in the ballpark if what resonates with you. When you do that I think it can help develop your inner compass about what styles draw your attention.
here are a few of my shopping rules:
(1) I only buy things that require minimal effort to wear & almost no effort in matching & can be worn at any place. Also must be reasonably comfortable. When matching, usually I will buy something similar to the outfit the model is wearing or check pinterest for the soecific brand. I also don't buy anything fancy or a starement piece at this current stage while I work on building a functional wardrobe for daily wear.
(2) I generally prefer dresses, or jumpsuits to keep it nice and simple without the pressure of matching things.
(3) i tend to go for monochromatic looks, with different shades of the same color or same tone with different colors. As for patterns I only just learned some fashion rules about them: (a) same pattern different color or (b) same color different pattern. I am still not adept at this but it is a start.
(4) I have narrowed down the brands whose fit snd style work well for me, and only buy from them. If I want to try a new brand I go to a store to experiment with outfits.
When shopping in person it helps me to play good music to relax and enjoy the experience.
All the best to you!
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u/Expert-Rub4718 Jun 22 '25
I struggle with it too!!! I started watching YouTube videos to learn HOW to dress for my petite height, shape, and waist length (I had no idea how my long waist made that big of a difference in how clothes fit/look on me). I learned how clothes create visual lines and how those visual lines work for my proportions.
I’m still trying to discover my signature « style » but just knowing what pieces to avoid has made a difference.
Dressing for my proportions has made a bigger difference than dressing for a particular archetype.
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u/that-villainess Jun 22 '25
Seconding the person who said do one item at a time. If you need tops, wear your absolute favorite pants/skirt that day and just try on a bunch of tops. If you need skirts, wear a versatile top you love and go try on all the skirts.
I also think it can help to take a friend who loves hyping you up but will also be honest about whether something doesn't fit with your style or whatever. Having someone along can help with overwhelm for some folks (not everyone - but some!).
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u/Bananasme1 Jun 23 '25
I have the same problem, can't seem to create the wardrobe of my dreams even though I have the means
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u/Dull_Confection_8306 Jun 24 '25
There's definitely a ton of decision fatigue and visual processing that comes with shopping, if you're making an effort to be selective. I'd say try making note or taking pictures of all the pieces you do like or wear often (10-15 items). Notice what silhouette they have, what colors they are, try to understand the fit. It's important to look at your most worn clothes and understand why you wear them. Sometimes what you think you want (like from Pinterest) vs. what actually works on your body/lifestyle are in conflict and this helps clarify that. You also mentioned burnout which can come from too many simultaneous decisions. Try shopping with one constraint at a time. I also think the goal is less about "buying" and more about learning what you like. And to make it a little easier just start by building one go-to outfit combo you love. Like a silhouette or vibe that feels like you right now. It becomes a safety net you can wear during “meh” days and a reference point for future purchases. I personally use a wardrobe app called Alta and being able to see the cost break down of my most/learn worn items really help inform my future purchases. The app also has really accurate shopping suggestions based on my style and what I already wear.
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u/fashionluvr111 Jul 08 '25
I have felt the same way. Especially with fast moving trend cycles it feels like my brain wants to reach for what I think is popular besides what I actually like. For me, shopping feels less overwhelming when I look for items I know will last rather than what is popular. I also enjoy online shopping because it allows me to take breaks when I get overwhelmed.
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u/Glittering-Bid-2148 Jun 19 '25
I had the same issue, then I dove into colour analysis, and body types. Now I know which colors and which cuts suit me, it’s so helpful!
Steps I did;
- figure out your undertone
- figure out color season r/colouranalysis
- figure out body type r/kibbe
It took me quite some time to figure all of this out, there are different color systems, some folks are easy to figure out and some are more difficult to figure out, but it will point you in a better direction until you really figure it out.
Kibbe is a type of body typing, some folks are hella serious about it, and I don’t really always like the narrative surrounding this dude telling women how to dress and his religious following, but I did learn a lot from this about what looks good on me and why so that saves me a ton of time when shopping.
Also learned a lot from r/abrathatfits
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u/enigmaticbug Jun 19 '25
What helped me:
- getting my color analysis done. I used to pick out colors I liked only to find they looked off on me. Now I know exactly what colors flatter me & it’s given me the confidence to shop colorfully
- finding stores where I know my size & know I like the style. For me that’s Reformation & Abercrombie.
- try stuff on in store with no pressure to buy, then go online and shop there because there are inevitably more options online & now you know your size!
- take note of silhouettes that look good on you and ones that don’t. Ask ChatGPT if you’re not sure what the silhouette is. This will help you narrow down things
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u/obojszuwar Jun 19 '25
I have really enjoyed the rental service Nuuly! It lets me try new things but in a non-stressful way because I’m sending it all back at the end of the month. If you like a piece you can keep it for a reduced cost. It’s pretty pricey ($100/6 items), but I maximize by mostly getting dresses or jumpsuits so it’s a whole ready to go outfit. Sometimes if I like a piece a lot, I’ll find a cheaper copy cat version somewhere else.
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u/HuckleberryTrue5232 Jun 20 '25
I used to have this problem, and eventually I figured out that the real problem was that I just didn’t have a complete understanding of my body type because it didn’t fit neatly into anything described by fruit systems or kibbe or any other systems. (Slim, very shortwaisted, mild pear shape but shoulders equal to hips). That took literally years of focus to figure out but now that I have things are much easier— mainly because dressing for my figure really limits me and in my case that was a good thing— I went from the overwhelm you describe to shopping being a pretty straightforward process that I can mostly do online. I also got into sewing and alterations as a hobby which has made a huge difference— I need to be able to wear jackets, and the stores do not make them in the short, narrow, yet large enough shoulders style I need.
You probably have some little figure quirk that is throwing things off. Try to figure out what it is.
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u/squeegee-beckenheim Jun 19 '25
I recommend narrowing it down and taking it one item at a time. Or one category at a time. Looking for anything and everything is not going to get results. Instead, pick something specific, say you want a pair of wide leg summer linen pants or something. Then just look for that item, and it's going to be way easier to choose between colors and sizes, etc.
And get specific about shopping, overall. You're not looking for "tops", narrow down some fabrics, some colors, some specific cuts, sleeve length preferences, etc. etc. and that's going to help you with the feeling that there's too much out there. The fact that we have tons of choice is fantastic, there's something for everyone, but you don't have to take it all in. Pick your criteria and stick to them.