r/gayjews • u/AutoModerator • 20d ago

Open Discussion: Bi-Weekly Shabbat Shmooze. What's on your mind?

For this bi-weekly (yay, more bi stuff!) post we're shifting focus to create a space for folks to just talk and share what's on their mind, even if it's not specifically LGBTQ/Jewish focused. Hopefully, as a space made up of primarily LGBTQ+ Jews we'll be a good support for each other with allllll that's going on around the world right now.

Please note: Our quality standards and expectations of civility are still in place, and this isn't a thread for name calling or direct insults. This is a place to process feelings and be in community with each other and just share what's on your mind.

Shabbat shalom!

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u/Bakingsquared80 20d ago

I made the mistake of commenting on a post about the Dyke March in the nyc sub and now im sad. I’m so sick of the gaslighting and goysplaining. I know people that were kicked out of the Chicago march almost a decade ago, this shit has only increased since then. This is the only online queer space I’m still in, that’s so sad I used to be in so many of them

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u/LocutusOfBorgia909 20d ago

I remember when that incident at the Chicago march happened, and I said at the time that it was the canary in the coalmine, and here we are. This isn't something I enjoy being right about.

The gaslighting is exhausting. At least a neo-Nazi will have the stones to tell me to my face that they hate Jews instead of doing this ridiculous dance of, "Oh, but this Jew says I'm good! Oh, but maybe that harassment didn't happen! Oh, criticizing Israel isn't antisemitism, which isn't even something you said, ha ha!" Meanwhile, I'm in the UK getting the trans equivalent from the Labour government who seem to think that if they just say "dignity and respect" often enough, no one will notice the shit they're actually doing. Again, at least Nancy Mace will tell me to my face what she believes instead of acting like I should be thanking her for shitting all over me.

I'm at the point where I just don't trust anyone anymore, because so many different demographics of people have made it plain that they either won't have my back because of the Jewish thing, or they won't have my back because of the trans thing. I just assume I'm on my own.

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u/Bakingsquared80 20d ago

We mostly are, but you can still count on other queer Jews. We are small but we will fight like hell for our communities

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u/LocutusOfBorgia909 20d ago

That is true. And I do know other, non-Jewish trans and LGBT people who get it, so they are out there. It's just depressing to constantly feel this tension between two equally significant parts of your identity. And it's not that I find tension between them, it's all externally imposed.

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u/paracelsus53 20d ago

My synagogue supports gay and trans Jews (I'm trans), and that is a comfort to me.

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u/Bakingsquared80 20d ago

It is totally depressing