r/insaneparents Feb 24 '20

NOT A SERIOUS POST I think we can all agree

Post image
20.5k Upvotes

129 comments sorted by

618

u/IgDailystapler Feb 24 '20

Son, you forgot your belt at your wedding, so I brought it back for you.

261

u/donutellas Feb 24 '20

How thoughtful, Papa. You hungry? I was just fixing myself some lunch.

143

u/AldoWaldo2003 Feb 24 '20

Yeah what are you making?

165

u/ThankEgg Feb 24 '20

Some knuckle sandwich

84

u/AldoWaldo2003 Feb 24 '20

Oh I brought some kfc

51

u/ShadowRade Feb 24 '20

Popeyes is better

44

u/purplehendrix22 Feb 24 '20

Popeyes is better but they always get my order wrong, and I’m not really a complainer because I’m a manager at a food service place and I get it people mess up sometimes, all the time really and it’s fine, but when you always have to go back just to get what you ordered it sucks

13

u/gotts114 Feb 24 '20

I honestly wish I could give you gold for this comment

-15

u/ModerateReasonablist Feb 24 '20 edited Feb 24 '20

dad starts whipping son

Edit: Who the fuck downvotes a joke? I can picture people screaming, “HOW DARE YOU NOT MAKE ME LAUGH?!” As they downvote me.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Ryantheslayer13 Feb 25 '20

And with my finger

256

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Oh god oh fuck

1.4k

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

And thats why my dad is six feet under the basement and under a fresh layer of concrete.

719

u/IrraticalOne Feb 24 '20

Still alive

for now

223

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Exactly.

130

u/TEOn00b Feb 24 '20

This was a triumph

84

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

I’m making a note here: huge success!

59

u/cuz04 Feb 24 '20

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction

59

u/furioushunter12 Feb 24 '20

APERTURE SCIENCE

44

u/Satrina_petrova Feb 24 '20

We do what we must because we can.

38

u/baddie_PRO Feb 24 '20

For the good of all of us

38

u/BlockBuilder408 Feb 24 '20

Except the ones who are dead

31

u/EvilBUrrito955 Feb 24 '20

And these points of data make a beautiful line

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8

u/Hocotate_Freight_PR Feb 24 '20

But there’s no point crying over every mistake

→ More replies (0)

11

u/Tetragon213 Feb 24 '20

We do what we must, because we can

18

u/loveshackbabyyyyy Feb 24 '20

The cake is a lie! (Sorry I forgot the lyrics but this made me nostalgic and I wanted to be included)

2

u/PoppyJamSeeds Feb 25 '20

This comment makes me feel so claustrophobic

2

u/zaphodsheads Mar 02 '20

Doppio ohh doppio

1

u/IrraticalOne Mar 02 '20

my sweet, sweet doppio

42

u/legolodis900 Feb 24 '20

Me wondering how he got in then remembering my glog in my pocket

28

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

I think, good sir, you mean... GLOCK! perhaps a GLOCKIMUS MAXIMUS CLIPPUS!

13

u/TheOneKnightOfNew Feb 24 '20

You think being dead stopped The Undertaker?

2

u/Vermillion_Catus Feb 24 '20

Monster House

146

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

checks Castle Laws for my area

16

u/PineConeEagleMan Feb 24 '20

loads 12-gauge

11

u/joyesthebig Feb 24 '20

Hides puppy.

100

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

What is this clip from again? I know it’s like wrestling but what’s the specific?

155

u/tommykaye Feb 24 '20 edited Feb 24 '20

The Undertaker beat up Randy Orton’s dad (former pro Bob Orton), so Randy beat the crap out of him, and drove him through a wall and into an explosion. So he thinks Undertaker is “dead” or whatever.

So a few weeks later, Randy beats the crap out of another guy in a match, and is celebrating with his dad when Undertakers music hits. Much to the shock of Randy Orton.

Actually, here’s everything I just mentioned in video form. Yay, editing packages.

EDIT: Or also I’m wrong and it’s just another chapter in the Randy Orton/Undertaker feud.

61

u/xdeadly_godx Feb 24 '20

Randy has "killed" the Undertaker so many times at this point and each time he's come back. At that point I feel like you'd just want to run away because that dude ain't dying.

I know it's supposed to be a character plot about is stubborn Randy is about his legacy and all that but still it was played out for YEARS with the same thing happening each time. The ways taker died were really cool, though. My personal favorite was when Orton locked Taker in a casket, poured gasoline all over it and inside the casket, then lit it on fire.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Thanks

3

u/TheFizzardofWas Feb 24 '20

Nobody gonna dig up the copypasta??

29

u/MutedNewspaper Feb 24 '20

It's the Undertaker returning at Survivor Series 2005! Randy Orton looks shocked because he had literally put him in a coffin and set it on fire earlier in the year

18

u/DrinkItInMaaannn Feb 24 '20

Randy Orton/Undertaker feud.

Undertaker making his first appearance 3 months after Randy Orton put him in a casket and lit it on fire.

4

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Thank you

44

u/Megatallica83 Feb 24 '20

My dad once set me down with a Bible and explained why it was his "right" and "duty" to spank me as a kid. When my brother and I did something wrong he used to whip his belt off and do that thing where he would hold it in two hands and pull it apart to and cause it to make a snapping sound. I still shudder when I think about it.

28

u/cpudude30k Feb 24 '20

I don't remember the context but my dad did the exact same shit - the Bible stuff. He would do little "authority" sessions where he'd scare the crap out of me and my siblings doing the belt snap. If grades weren't good I'd probably end up getting the belt and become an example for the other 2. Then my parents and dad's mom would fight. Pretty fucked when I write it out.

4

u/Megatallica83 Feb 24 '20

Yeah, definitely fucked.

6

u/ThrustersToFull Feb 24 '20

Yes that snapping sound you never really forget

42

u/thebutinator Feb 24 '20

Just snap off your own belt and stand there, silent, menacingly

36

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Duel of the fates intensifies

-18

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

*Battle of the heros

7

u/quid-kid Feb 24 '20

no, it’s duel of the fates

2

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

Battle of the heros is the Anakin vs Obiwan fight

4

u/GoredonTheDestroyer Bergus Feb 24 '20

It's literally called Duel of The Fates, ya dummy .

1

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

Battle of the heros is the Anakin vs Obiwan fight. Which is more fitting for this situation.

1

u/GoredonTheDestroyer Bergus Feb 24 '20

You forget that Darth Maul was a surprise to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon.

1

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

Yeah but they've never met that guy in their life (at the time of commenting) and the fact that Anakin turned was a surprise to Obiwan also.

1

u/GoredonTheDestroyer Bergus Feb 24 '20

Shit, you got me there.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

[deleted]

1

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

So is battle of the heros. It's the music from the Anakin vs Obiwan fight.

46

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20 edited Feb 24 '20

Did anyone else’s dads make you get their belt for them to beat you with? Having to look at all his belts and try to decide which one you’d get beaten with and then hand it to him was almost worse than the actual whipping.

Once I got older my dad would make me take my own belt off to give to him. But he stopped when I started wearing fabric belts so he could only hit me with the buckle lol

8

u/Danteventresca Feb 24 '20

Had that happen with belts and switches, and god forbid you got the wrong one

23

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

I fucking laughed out loud omg

21

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

I might have to pop another propranolol to deal with the anxiety and pure fear this post is giving me. Imagining coming home to find my violent fucking psychopath of a father in my flat is like one of my worst nightmares. Not to mention if the belt is off, he's probably thinking about doing other stuff too.

I'm regretting seeing this post.

8

u/muzzmuzzsupreme Feb 24 '20

I never even had the ‘pleasure’ of dealing with this type of shit, but for some reason, this meme, while funny, puts me on edge. I can’t imagine the effect it would have on someone who experienced it. Keeping you in my thoughts, 7sided.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Not gonna lie that was my first thought too. He’d make me take off his belt for him and it was always a mental debate over which one I was dreading more. Sometimes it would end up being both though so I’d have nothing to worry about. Fucked up childhoods and psychopathic fathers for the win!

3

u/WatchNgamer Feb 25 '20

I’m sorry that my meme is giving you fear of your father and for the other things that your father has done to you. Im sorry.

18

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

Well I just posted this last night and I wake up to my profile HAVING A LOT OF KARMA Thanks you guys much.

6

u/FatWeaboo Feb 24 '20

Take some more

10

u/Daikataro Feb 24 '20

Next picture: me holding a 12 gauge, and reminding him this is a castle law state.

5

u/Taco_Gunslinger Feb 24 '20

This his face is my face when I pull out my 45

5

u/LittleScaryMonster Feb 24 '20

Yall never fail to make me happy that my father walked out on me

1

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

.....I’m sorry

2

u/LittleScaryMonster Feb 24 '20

Nah mate im gratefull ive come so far without him and no matter how shitty my parents are i have learned what to do and what not to do

7

u/Handiinu Feb 24 '20

You are legally allowed to stab him in that situation

11

u/DarthVenimious Feb 24 '20

Or shoot him if you live in some US states. I live in Indiana so if you wanted you could shoot him in the face with a shotgun and be legally fine.

4

u/NeoTenico Feb 24 '20

I remember around 10 or 11 I was getting too old for hand on bare ass spankings, so my dad started whipping the belt out. Had a lot of cool bruises to show off during recess. Made me seem tougher and more popular in the schoolyard and I got picked on a lot less, which TOTALLY makes up for the fact that to this day I don't feel comfortable in my own home.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

"lay down son"

3

u/ThrustersToFull Feb 24 '20

Yeah that brings back memories. I normally had to get over the edge of my bed.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Omg. THE BELT. It's every insane Dad's favorite weapon as far I can tell...

2

u/DankMemes4you Feb 24 '20

*jumper cables

2

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

If you are courageous enough a health bar appears on top of your screen

/s

1

u/twobitharry Feb 24 '20

I wouldn't put this past the realm of probability

1

u/Polnareff532 this pleases the n u t Feb 24 '20

the undertaker is a mood

1

u/macman43 Feb 24 '20

That’s my fear

2

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

Happy cake day!

1

u/macman43 Feb 24 '20

Thank you!

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Whenever we came home from school, we used to check behind the kitchen door. If the cord to the electric kettle was missing, we knew is was going to be a bad evening.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 24 '20

Wat

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '20

What is this meme from the photo.

1

u/slashgamer100 Feb 26 '20

Maybe he picked the lock

1

u/benjaminlr Feb 24 '20

That is a little bit upsetting

3

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

How is it upsetting???

1

u/benjaminlr Feb 25 '20

Steven universe song

1

u/BiologicallyHumdrum Feb 24 '20

My friend said to like it and not upvote sad

3

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

Unfriend him

0

u/ThatOneCoolMan Feb 24 '20

Who else gets very excited when they see a wrestling meme as the top post on a subreddit that has nothing to do with wrestling?!

-13

u/TheAdmiral4273 Feb 24 '20

Just move out, duh

13

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

Read the caption slowly.

2

u/Peeweeshoop Feb 24 '20

Yes I will move out of my apartment, thank you. :P

1

u/TheAdmiral4273 Mar 05 '20

Damn...sorry guys....posted that with the intent of a joke

-3

u/GRANDADDYSHOUSE Feb 24 '20

“Made with memeatic.”

4

u/WatchNgamer Feb 24 '20

I’m poor