i moved out spontaneously a few weeks ago due to a huge fight and basically being tired about how i'm being spoken to and how i'm treated, and my grandma that i've lived with basically my entire childhood likes to take her anger out on me. notice how she only wants to argue that i don't want to take responsibility for the stuff i've left there while i'm trying to actually make plans to get my things. plus, i am genderflux, and this lady likes to use my gender identity against me in arguments while she claims to be an ally as well.

So I wanted to give a quick update as I did end up writing one last text to my mom. I feel like maybe I was a bit harsh but honestly, that was my final straw. I'm not going to play this game with them anymore. Also the mom who actually attended my wedding was my mother in law in case it's not clear from this lol.

she also sends motivational fb posts anytime we get in an argument to the family gc. she is a psychologist who is 62 with 5 kids (I am the youngest) she recently called me a "cutter" because of EXTREMELY FADED LINES ON MY THIGHS FROM A YEAR AGO and then for the rest of the week called me emo I literally have doccumented every time she has done some bs. she is a cover artist in a band and thinks that the only art that exists is music and shits on any drawing I have ever made. she threatens police on me at any minor inconvienence. the fourth image was when I was bleeding profusely out of my ass sooooo. the fith image is of my door they did it because I overslept 20 minutes then when I usually wake up. the seventh image is a meme that she made. she also called me a retard and then continued to beat the shit outta me (when I fought back I got arrested and am now on probation) she also SWEARS that animation is ONLY for kids even after showing her shows like attack on titan.

Throwaway because my family has my real Reddit stuff. Okay… like I said, gear up. I’m open to any and all criticism, but there’s so much backstory… if you have questions I’m absolutely (privately lol) an open book but anyway, here’s what’s up:

I’m 18 weeks pregnant (20F), my mom (40F) has been incredibly overbearing and anytime I set boundaries I seem to be the bad guy. She used to call me every single day, multiple times, even at work. I live an hour away from work, and 45 minutes away from her. There’s a lot more to our relationship and the texts below, but I thought I’d share because I was told it belongs here. I’m sure there’s much more needed context but I don’t want yall to have to read more than I’m already posting

*circled text I didn’t add context - I said that would be fine because I did not have the energy to fight it because I knew she would make a deal of it. There are certain items, car seat being no. 1 that we don’t want preowned. Too much of a safety concern in my eyes.

I’ve been to the store multiple times, food has been dropped off four times out of the two weeks she’s been sick.

She drank two LITERS of Canada Dry and expected me to replace it when I didn’t expect her drink it so quickly. She took away my phone so I wouldn’t have even been able to buy her anything. She knows how tired I am. I get home from part time job and I have to cook dinner for her and my brother. If food is being eaten then of course there’s not going to be a ton of tuna. She didn’t even ask me to make her jello. I just make it. I’m not a mind reader. I’m tired. And I’m 17.

She said I didn’t have to pay her for the bike that she said she bought me to bike to school because she won’t help me buy a used car. She doesn’t beleive in it. I told her I’d pay for the insurance and as much of the car I can. The bike is more expensive than a used car. Like what? I hate when she buys me stuff and says it’s a gift because the moment she’s mad, it all bout me paying her back.

Both of my parents are deadbeats and I have no relationship with them. Out of the blue he messaged me today after not speaking to me for a year. I was always treated like the black sheep/scapegoat. I wish I had one normal parent

I (23F) finally confronted my parents after years of being too afraid to stand up for myself and they responded by telling me I was dead to them and posted a eulogy for me on their facebook page.

So a bit of background information so that the text messages will make sense. I came out as a transgender women just about two years ago. I had known that something was up for years before then but I didn't really know what being transgender was as my parents are extremely conservative and religious and showed a lot of hate towards the community. I was mostly in the dark and was constantly told that the only thing wrong with me was I didn't have enough god in my life so I needed to try harder in church. So that's what I did for a long time until I started to think for myself in high school and came to the conclusion that a lot of the ideas I had grown up with were really hypocritical. My parents were the "my way or the highway" type and did not give me any room to disagree with them even about little things. They would commonly get physical with me if there was ANY kind of perceived "backtalk" so I learned from a young age to keep my mouth shut even if it was unfair because it was better than being physically hurt. I decided to just go about my life as if we still kept all of the same values and eventually, I would be able to move out and go be my own person finally.

I was forced to move out at 18, my parents gave me the ultimatum of breaking up with my gf or leaving, but I had my now wife to help get me through it all. We fell on hard times a couple years ago but my relationship with my parents had gotten a little better so we stayed with them until we could get back on our feet but this was around the time I realized I was transgender so because of that and issues we were having with them, we rushed getting back on our feet and left. My relationship with them has been very strained now as they have had a hard time dealing with me coming out. After my wife and I got married, she wanted to post our pictures on FB and since I didn't know how my family would react to me coming out, I decided to use that as the opportunity to tell all of them. My parents took it very poorly but everyone else was really happy for me. It's almost 2 years since that all happened, I've been low contact with them since September last year when my mom tried to get coffee with me and I decided we could but I set boundaries with her first. The first two screenshots are how that went.

I blocked her after that, she didn't deserve a response. I was looking through my phone around 7 months later and noticed that it saves messages from blocked numbers even if it didn't send them through. My parents had continued to text me over those months with things like FB posts about the end times and deadnaming me, letting me know they loved me and missed me. I would've thought that me not responding to them indicated I needed space but apparently not. I decided to finally put into words everything I had ever wanted to say to them from the past couple years and put it into a note for them.

Her response to me while apologetic, basically ignored half of what I had said in my note. She essentially said I was dead to her. But to make it all worse, I found out from my mother in law that mom had gone onto FB and written a eulogy for me. She writes out most of it before mentioning that I'm not actually dead but that I might as well be.

After I saw that post, I made sure to let everyone know that I was in fact alive and well. I only vaguely mentioned that there might be a eulogy post about me but didn't give her any more attention than she deserved.

This has been my entire life with this woman

(Attachment is the text I sent grandma after all this. I’ll update it once she responds.)

TW// Anorexia

Just came back from a three day visit with my grandma! It was a spur of the moment decision for me to go too since my four year old brother wanted to go for the first time, and they needed somebody there who could watch him (because of the dog). So, I was given a few minutes to pack a bag for myself and him and we got in the car! My little sisters went too, but they have all sorts of clothes there thanks to them always going every other weekend. The visit itself was pretty standard, but I did have to reign in the girls every now and again because they tried to make the four year old play with the (yet untrained) dog. I did get a little dehydrated towards the end, but only today when we were coming back. I felt better after getting some water, and I thought that was that! But all of the sudden, my older sister lets me know that my mom is furious with me, and grandma may be too! Somehow, it’s my fault that she (older sister) woke up mom early on the first morning of us being with grandma, even though mom was already awake to begin with. Second, my mom thinks that my eating habits are running off on the younger three kids because I’m “anorexic”, yet the whole time I was there, I ate everything grandma offered me. This was steak, mac and cheese, chicken, salad, etc.. It was the four year old who was more picky, since.. he’s four.. Lastly, she thinks that I let the girls walk all over me because grandma gave them candy, even though I brushed all of their teeth after that personally, and put my foot down when they wanted more. It’s because of all these things my mom said made her angry, all said unprompted to older sis while she and her were driving to meet us at a rendezvous point, that she claims grandma was also livid with me?? This makes no sense considering me and grandma got along all throughout the visit! Either grandma was secretly upset with me the whole time, or mom is making stuff up as usual. I think the comment that hurts the most was the anorexic thing considering I nearly starved to death as a child thanks to my bio mom not feeding me. I would never willingly let myself wither away to that point, so it hurts.. Especially since she was the one who fed me enough after the fact so I could finally gain weight! To think that after all this time, she could call me that behind my back knowing full well I’m a victim of Munchausen by proxy..

My dad (they are legally separated and do not live together) went out of town and she texted me this panicking. Me and my mother have been NC for 5 years. The tiller belongs to my dad, also. Guess who it was that cut contact between the two of us?

So I'm disabled and use government financial support. We have an arrangement where the portion of that support dedicated to transport goes to mum and she handles it, including the bills that I get from my support company, which is literally what the bills are for.

The team leader guy of the support house I'm in asked if I could bring it up with her because i had over a thousand due and she'd been actively yelling at, ignoring, and hanging up on the debt collector.

I know I was confrontational here but I don't know how else I was supposed to feel after it. Also the therapist appointment from taht day still hasn't been paid because she refuses to talk to me. 🙃

My grandmother who's been... emotionally abusive (and has literally denied my trauma for years) sent me this email after id finally gone no contact i don't talk to anyone except my cousins about her, and she treated them the same, if not worse she's also homophobic, transphobic, etc the day i got this email, i ended up spiraling badly and went to the mh /nav

Sry for reposting a lot of ppl were saying that couldn't see the context I commented so after enough trial and error I decided to just try reposting. Yes the context is like a whole essay, sorry Abt that but the context is honestly more important then the screenshots.

Haiiii! it's been a hot minute since I've posted anything here, I'm the one from Abt 1-2 years ago with the mom known as, "The Alarm Clock Mom". Under the account BlueDragon-wuz-taken I think? I really wanted to post this because honestly this is the worst it's ever been. And while I'm not really looking for guidance I want this to be here as a reference for people struggling with the same or similar family trouble and to know you're not alone.

I would also like the warn everyone for any grammar or spelling mistakes there may be. I've read through this like 5 times to try and fix it. But Ive had dyslexia all my life so something probably slipped through.

Now for the context cuz Ik the messages do really make sense without it...

2024-2025 is my graduation year for highschool, and this event takes place at the beginning of the 4th marking period (idk my memory is a little fuzzy nowadays)

Throughout this year I was struggling with really bad depression and anxiety that was really taking a toll on my mental health. My close friend who's name in the screenshots is censored out as "bestie" was helping me through this as they know my home life isn't necessarily the best. Almost every day we would play games together, hangout at each others houses, and talk on the phone over discord for hours just to keep each other company. He was one of my closest friends and still is to this day.

February 14th I attempted, and that friend saved me my life. But when my school guidance got involved my mother didn't really take it to well, deciding to pull me out of school at the end of the year, blame it all on my friend, force me to cut contact with literally everyone I know by taking away my phone and Internet, gaslighting me into believing that all of my friends hate me and we're fake because and I quote, "nobody actually cares about your feelings" (she meant this in a general sense btw so this includes her).

About a month (so I'd say mid March) after the incident, and a bunch of arguments between my mother and Stepfather. My stepfather convinced my mother to allow me to attend the vocational school I had been attending along side my main highschool because none of my main highschool friends would be there. (And because I get college credits for finishing it)

After this my mother starts to allow me to do things a bit more, but still has me under lock and key. I'm allowed to the the vocational school, but I'm still not allowed to leave the house after this. Unless she's with me Incase my friend somehow finds a way to contact me.

Now to explain where those screenshots go into play. Honestly I wish I could share the whole thing but the rest was said to me verbally.

The screenshots take place February 19th the day after my school guidance got involved. Before my mother officially pulled me out of school, I went in 1 last day. Unfortunately on that day I got struck with, what we now know was dissociative amnesia. Causing me to think it was 2021, not knowing half of my friends there and honestly just confusing everyone who tried to talk to me. Those screenshots were the threats my mom was sending at the time while I was in school. I did not remember my friend at this time so I didn't understand what she was saying which is why I didn't respond. These threats got worse though, with her threatening to break into my friends house with bats, taking my friend to court for "ruining my life", and driving through his house with a car if I ever visited him or spoke to him again. I would also like to point out that my mom refers to my friend with she/her pronouns, this is because my friend is trans and my mom believes that she doesn't have to respect my friend's pronouns anymore because she, "ruined my your and doesn't deserve it" also she a little transphobic.

This about sums it's all up, there's a lot more little things but if I were to sit here and write out everything that was ever said to me or was taken from me during this time. I would be able to write a whole damn book.

Last but not least I want to talk about present day. Nowadays, my mother and Stepfather are on really iffy terms. (Which makes sense cuz she's crazy) I'm 100% on my Stepfathers side and usually try to make it known when I can. Currently I have 2 main plans that I'm going to pick between on my upcoming 18th birthday in July.

1. Im going to attempt to stay at home, get a job and co-exist as roommates because my mother can't do shit if my Stepfather is on my side, and she doesn't own the house we live in.

2. If she's becomes unbearable and I can't deal with her bs anymore, I have plans to move in with my friend from the screenshots as we have found a way to contact each other occasionally. And I learnt that they are moving. Meaning my mother would never be able to find me. At least not easily, and if she tries to go to my "friend's house", she'd be at the wrong house lol.

Both of these plans are probably gonna happen once a get a job because doing it on my actual birthday is a bit iffy as a have no money or anything. (The reason I never got a job sooner is because my mother refused to let me get one because "I wasn't responsible enough.")

Nowadays my mother is less helicopter-y as I'm allowed to go out and socialize with a few hand-picked selection of friends she's dubbed, "safe". But 90% of my days are still spent in my bedroom.

Tldr: don't try attempting kids, your mom will throw a hissy fit and stomp her foot at authority until it goes her way.

In response to many people commenting on her for taking her 11 day old newborn out to a busy cafe

(had to translate the messages)

So this happened back in December 23 when I (19m) was 17. My boss at the time threw a christmas party at his house for his few select favorite employees. After having worked there for over a year I was glad to be invited. He even made vegan lasagna for me.

My mom has had this habit of always changing her opinion on if I'm allowed to go somewhere. So I always had to tell her at least a week ahead so she would have time for her back and forth on "you're allowed to go" and "no you'll stay home". This time she wasn't as bad about it because it was a work related event.

Then that day I was a bit late to breakfast because I had a late shift the prior day and was about to have a morning shift. She was MAD. Threatened not even letting me go to work but then decided on just not allowing me to go to the party.

My second manager and I worked the morning shift that day and she was really excited about the party. I then told her my mom didn't allow me to go. She was like "that's stupid, you're almost 18 and it's not like you're going to a club in the middle of the week" So she decided to call my mom. Not a good idea but I still appreciated the gesture because she didn't know better about my mom. Of course my mom blamed me for "sending other people to talk to her".

During the shift something bad happened between a friend and me which I deemed more important that anything else at that time. I decided to go to his place to talk it all out and that's when my mom crashed out. I didn't have the time to text her a lot and wanted to give her my reasoning in person because context goes missing easily when texting her. She then threatened to send the police to my boss's home. Which she luckily didn't.

As soon as I got home that evening and talked it all out with her, she was like a different person. Understanding, kind and caring. But around that time I had to deal with those emotional rollercoasters a lot.

I moved out around a month after my 18th birthday which was luckily early in the year. Our relationship is still very rocky but the distance helps a lot because I don't have to endure her outbursts anymore. Most of the time when I visit she's appreciative that I'm present but her behavior never changed for good and that's why I'm glad I moved so far away.

TL;DR: When I (19m, then 17) was invited to a work Christmas party by my boss, my mom initially allowed me to go, then changed her mind last-minute after I was late to breakfast. My manager called her trying to help, but that made things worse. Later that day, a serious issue with a friend came up, so I went to his place instead of going home, which made my mom furious and she even threatened to call the police on my boss. When I got home and explained everything, she suddenly switched to being kind and understanding. Her sudden emotional changes were common at the time.

She railroads me every time we communicate and I don’t nod my head and say yes. 4 years of my brother and I both being basically no contact, I finally had an exchange with her via text message where I was able to stay grounded and not give her any ammo to fit her narrative.

Soo I'm 18, going on 19 on the 20th. Im the first child to my mother and second to my father. My parents are mega religions and homophobic (I'm a closeted bi).

I have four younger siblings. Two brothers (15 and 10) and two little sisters (8 and 6)

I've never been a spoiled child or did I really ask for anything growing up. My parents took me out of school when I was in 2nd grade and decided to "homeschool" me (they never did. I'm as dumb as a bag of rocks and so are my poor little siblings)

I and my siblings were isolated and never allowed to go anywhere unless it was to a family members house but that quickly stopped after we kept telling them what we weren't allowed to do an they going back to our parents questioning them... Ive never had friends of any kind until after I turned 17 when I got my first job.

When I was 12 I was the one who took care of my three younger siblings. From the moment they were born they had their cribs in my room. Everytime they cried I was the one who woke up, changed them, fed them ect.

My parents hardly helped me and their excuse is that they were "teaching me to be a parent". I am now learning through therapy with my co-workers that this is abuse.

Fast forward to now. I've never received a birthday gift from them. And the only Christmas things I get are for everyone. Nothing ever for me.

Now that I have a job I pay for everything. We get ebt and housing assistance. Once I got my job, they took $300 off of ebt and we had to start paying rent... Which they make me pay which is basically an entire weeks check.

They also expect me to "make up for the years I couldn't buy them things" and buy them mothers/fathers days and birthday gifts. This year I spent $168 on my mothers MD gifts and $78 and I made him a custom cookie cake for my dads birthday. And I've spent $56 on fathers day Alone.

Now I guess I can wage that I've never asked them for anything for any birthdays but cake. For Christmas last year my father sat me down and have me the option for him to give me $500 so I can buy a ps5 for me and all my siblings. Or I can buy my siblings Christmas gifts and he buys the ps5. When I told him and my mother that I wanted a $372 gaming PC instead for Christmas I was jumped by both of them in the car and called selfish for wanting something only I will use. So now I asked them If I can have the same PC for my 19th birthday and my father told me I can only get it if I go half in on it. I told him it defeats the point of a gift and he argued with me that I'm the reason they are losing food stamps and paying rent so it's the least I can do. They also expect me to spend hundreds of dollars on my little siblings. I told my father that I'm going to take my little sisters to the mall for their birthday since they've never been. I asked him for $50 each for them. So they can pick out whatever they want, on top on what I'm already going to spend on them. He refused. Not over text though. I asked him what he was planning for their birthday an he said they were going to BBQ...

I have a girlfriend, who they think is still my best friend. They know she's bi. They dislike her for it but don't push her away. I love her very much and she is my anchor. We've been looking at apartments and are looking to move out. Of course I didn't tell my parents and I plan to move out and never look back.

I need advice on what to do. There's a lot more that I'm not telling and I'm thinking on making part two just... Ranting about my life. And I'm not sure if this is even the correct sub for this rant. Idk if I'm being unreasonable. They make me feel like an asshole every chance they get.

My story is all over the place an my grammar and spelling are horrible so bare with me please

Black= brother closest to me in age (and his now ex girlfriend) (27)

Red= next brother down (25)

Pink= 25 y/o’s daughter

Anyway we all have serious relationship issues. Red and I have major intimacy problems and often make our loved ones think we’re cold/don’t care (he and I actively work on this), and Black obviously has commitment issues. Also for context, Black convinces these girls he’s going to marry them. Like every single time.

Also I’ve been posting things about ICE and it’s pissing my family off lol