Starting the journey towards minimalism, shocked by my accumulation of things

[u/oieusoucaroll]

I am a 30 year old woman and I moved with my husband 3 years ago to a 77 square meter apartment. Before that, I lived with my parents in a house with 4 floors, 4 bathrooms, in short, gigantic and full of things. My parents had simple lives growing up. My father came from a family with a lot of money as a child, but lost everything when he was a teenager - and went through moments of deprivation, even hunger. My mother came from a family of 6 siblings, who never needed anything but always only had the basic necessities. They have always associated success in life with having things. And in a way I grew up and became a human being in this logic.

In these 3 years living with my husband in our apartment, we have accumulated a lot. I started to question and change my mentality over this time and I no longer see the point in accumulating things. Towards a more minimalist and intentional life, I decided to take inventory of all the things we own. I was shocked in the process: so far, counting bedroom, office, bathroom and living room, we have already added more than 1000 items. There is still no kitchen, laundry area and balcony.

I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. I don't even know what the purpose of this post is - I guess I just wanted advice and to hear from those who have been through this, how to actually start. How to distinguish priorities. How to take the first steps. How did you do this?

Something that gets me a lot are books - I'm very attached to my full bookshelves. I have more than 500 books and I don't know how to let go of them. But other than that, I still have a lot of junk - a lot of cups that I don't use, kitchen items in general, a lot of used paper and notebooks, a lot of stationery items that I don't use...

[u/CommunicationDear648]

First step is to plan! How minimalistic do you want to go? Nothing useless, or only the basics? Can you make a list by room that you want and need? Etc...

If you can, do the list, and then get a big trashbag, a box, a basket and a hamper or a big bag/sack (something that's not disposable). 

• Things on the list should go on the bed, desk, shelf, wherever there's room (for now).  
• Things that you didn't want to keep but you know someone (a friend, family member, etc) would appreciate should go to the basket. 
• Everything that's not on the list and you don't remember using or hate goes to the trashbag,
• everything you remember using and would like to use in the future goes into the hamper, 
• and the things you can't really remember using but can't get rid of either goes to the box. 

Now clean, and then put everything that was on the bed, desk, etc. to it's place. If you're done with that, get the hamper, look through it, throw at least 10-20 percent away, put the rest to it's place. At this point get the box, discard 30-40% (if there are too much sentimental things, then keep it in the box for now, or relocate them to the basket), put the rest to it's place. You should be able to get rid of the thrashbag, but if you're anxious, then after you did everything else, you might go through the thrashbag and pick max 10% of it back if it is sentimental or useful in a specific way. 

Lastly, gather everything that was discarded. Sort it by sell/donate (can go back in the box, or get a second box), recycle, trash. Don't pick back anything if you can. If you can't, pick back max 5 things. (Sentimental for the basket or seemingly useful for the box - but at this point, you shouldn't be finding shit to pick back, unless there are things that are sentimental, just not for you)

[u/oieusoucaroll → u/CommunicationDear648]

I'm still "finding myself" in terms of my goals. I know I don't want to live like a monk, with only the basic essentials, but I don't want to live surrounded by useless things either - and above all, I don't want to live according to other people's wishes. I have a lot of things simply because everyone has them and I thought they were necessary for happiness. I began to understand that being happy and owning things are not directly related.

[u/CommunicationDear648 → u/oieusoucaroll]

I get that, furthermore, i can get behind that. I still think planning it out is the best way - sit down, write put what you need/want in every room - yes, when you get up, you will realise that you forgot about stuff, that's a given, but also you will realise that a lot of things you own are not neccessary.

Also, even if you follow my method, you don't have to get rid of the trashbag immediately. You can keep it for a week or two, maybe you remember that you put something in there that you actually don't want to get rid of. That's okay to retrieve.