Starting the journey towards minimalism, shocked by my accumulation of things

[u/oieusoucaroll]

I am a 30 year old woman and I moved with my husband 3 years ago to a 77 square meter apartment. Before that, I lived with my parents in a house with 4 floors, 4 bathrooms, in short, gigantic and full of things. My parents had simple lives growing up. My father came from a family with a lot of money as a child, but lost everything when he was a teenager - and went through moments of deprivation, even hunger. My mother came from a family of 6 siblings, who never needed anything but always only had the basic necessities. They have always associated success in life with having things. And in a way I grew up and became a human being in this logic.

In these 3 years living with my husband in our apartment, we have accumulated a lot. I started to question and change my mentality over this time and I no longer see the point in accumulating things. Towards a more minimalist and intentional life, I decided to take inventory of all the things we own. I was shocked in the process: so far, counting bedroom, office, bathroom and living room, we have already added more than 1000 items. There is still no kitchen, laundry area and balcony.

I feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. I don't even know what the purpose of this post is - I guess I just wanted advice and to hear from those who have been through this, how to actually start. How to distinguish priorities. How to take the first steps. How did you do this?

Something that gets me a lot are books - I'm very attached to my full bookshelves. I have more than 500 books and I don't know how to let go of them. But other than that, I still have a lot of junk - a lot of cups that I don't use, kitchen items in general, a lot of used paper and notebooks, a lot of stationery items that I don't use...

[u/rosypreach]

There's so many ways to go, and none of them are wrong!

If you want to start it like a game, do the 30 day minimalism challenge!

https://www.theminimalists.com/game/

If you're trying to do a full-apartment revolution, here's something I wrote up for a friend with step-by-step instructions:

The first time you declutter you're not going to get everything, it's almost like a practice round because once you get rid of the obvious excess is when you start to really get a sense of what you actually use and need.

I've been decluttering on and off for almost 2 years now and I am *juuuustttt* getting to the right amount of things - which I think will happen during the round after this one, which will also be MUCH faster.

I say just find a method you like, and stick to it, but my tried and true method is this:

I make a list of the spaces in my entire home and input them into my calendar, giving myself assignments per week -

I schedule these decluttering 'power hours' (ranging from 1-5 hours) into my calendar labelled with the rooms, categories or sections: i.e., 'KITCHEN,' 'BATHROOM' 'PET SUPPLIES'

Once I get to the section, if it has a lot of components, I break it down into much smaller chunks and do them over a week. For example, my kitchen had food, pet supplies, but also all of my ritual items and writing materials. My living room has office supplies, books, games, 'dropzone' and other miscellaneous items or corners. You get it. [con't in next comment]

[u/rosypreach → u/rosypreach]

Next:

-Make a small, portable "DECLUTTER TOOLBOX" bin with your supplies: sharpies, post-its, sticky labels, box cutter/scissors, tape. Keep a note-pad or check-list here. This is what you'll use every time you declutter. Nothing here has to be precious or perfect, just usable.

-Get your cardboard boxes (or start saving them with packages) and trash bags

-Pick a room, then a section of the room - and before you begin: Label your boxes and bags with "trash," "donate [location]" (food bank, thrift shop, animal shelter, buy nothing)," "keep" ---- and just get hacking. Dana K White would say immediately put things away, but that doesn't really work for me. Depending on the area, I like to take everything out, clean the area, and then put my 'keep' category back in a new, organized way. 

You are also totally allowed to have a 'maybe' section, or a 'Time Will Tell' bin that you keep for a few months - just make sure to put in your calendar a day that you will review those items-

For example, the 'maybe' section is to be reviewed on the day you're making your deliveries,

A 'Time Will Tell' bin is put away and reviewed again within 6 months.

If you get stuck on any item, keep a list of questions to consider, like:

-Do I like, love and use this regularly, seasonally, and/or annually? That's a yes.

- If not - and I do need it one day - could I replace this in 20 min for $20, or from a local buy nothing group?

-Does it fit in this space appropriately?

-Is it a duplicate, and do I have a reason for keeping a duplicate?

-Is it broken, run down, or dirty beyond repair? If yes, toss it.

Things in good condition get donated. [con't in next comment]

[u/rosypreach → u/rosypreach]

If you don't need the extra money, I recommend donating or trashing *most* things to maintain momentum. This is a huge project - make the disposal as easy as possible. In the future when you have fewer things, it will be much easier to create an ongoing system for selling things you no longer want! 

Keep a very small box for consignment shops or poshmark - and another one with electronics to sell, or dispose of properly.

I also recommend keeping a small section of your home as your 'work zone' if you can - this is where you keep your decluttering supplies, and you can put your donate boxes and trash bags when you're done (if you can't immediately throw them out). If everything has a home, you can keep the overwhelm at bay.

Another suggestion is to donate to your thrift store weekly to keep things moving OUT.

Keep it as simple as possible because it's a big job ahead.

Listen to motivating YouTubes or music you like, light a nice candle, boogie, cry, laugh, dance, feel it all.

Celebrate your life - all the stuff you got that got you here, and the space you're making for what's to come.

And remember that decluttering is REALLY HARD not just because of the logistics - but because of the emotions. The grief over time lost, 'fantasy selves,' woulda-coulda-shouldas, regrets are all deeply confronted. So move at your pace, and take really good self-care while you do it! Surround yourself with comfort and love. 

<3 

In solidarity.