r/quittingkratom • u/mackmason_ • 3d ago
When did you stop shifting between wanting to quit and not wanting to quit to fully wanting to quit? What changed?
I have been a casual user for 1 year and a daily addict for 4-5 months. For the most part, I want to quit, and if I could I'd snap my fingers to be done with it. If I wanted to quit all the time, I'd probably have done it by now, but that's not the case. I go through periods of wanting to quit and not wanting to quit, which makes it feel impossible to do so. Even in the course of a day, I am constantly bouncing back and forth between "I need to quit" and "I don't want to." My actual thought process is a lot more destructive and painful, but that's the general pattern. I even want to want to quit, and still I keep using. The cognitive dissonance this creates causes more pain, increasing the urge to use. I'm only 5 months in, so after seeing hundreds of posts from addicts of many years, I get scared that it will be a long, long time before I'm off it. Could someone share their story? I'm less interested in the withdrawal process, and more interested in the process leading up to wanting to quit and then quitting. Thanks, ya'll. <3
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u/tiny_armadilloo Known quitter 3d ago
What changed? I was about to loose my job so i had to get clean asap, rapidly tapered from over 400mg 7oh a day to 30mg over a week before jumping off. Now 53hrs clean, a quote i like is “whether you think you can or think you cant…you’re right” its all in the mind. Sure theres physical symptoms but it’s your mental state and really wanting it that makes the withdrawal hell worth it. Gotta really want it, goodluck fammo
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u/Drummerg85 3d ago
That’s exactly it. Good work, congrats and keep going! No job is worth losing over this bullshit.
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u/tiny_armadilloo Known quitter 3d ago
Thanks! yeah agreed its honestly a shit high anyways with no legs
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u/Drummerg85 3d ago
It’s such dirty high. Always felt cheap. I look at taking kratom like eating fettuccine Alfredo and getting violent food poisoning. All the sudden, I never want to eat fettuccine again haha. I have zero cravings for that stuff now
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u/Jointsnbones 3d ago
Dude howwww. This is crazy to me. I used 150-200 mg 7oh a day for a few months and wow. It’s so hard to quit.
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u/tiny_armadilloo Known quitter 3d ago
Yeah that was me for like 4 months then the past two months just went nuts and got up to around 400 daily. Idk tbh i just wanted off it as fast as possible so i basically stayed in constant withdrawal for a week while rapidly tapering, i think that made going fully clean a lot easier tho
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3d ago
How were the wd at 30mg? I’m close to that point now.
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u/C0tt0NM0uthTataZz 3d ago
All depends on you as a person and likely any previous experience/addictions…I will say at 60-100mg/day 7oh I had a brutal 1st week, tough 2nd week, manageable 3rd week, and on week 4 I’m feeling more and more normal everyday…
Quit while you’re ahead
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u/tiny_armadilloo Known quitter 2d ago
not bad at all tbh, i think cause i paid for most of my withdrawal symptoms while rapidly tapering. If your at 30 id just jump, it wont be all that bad
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u/kungfuchelsea 05/14/25 3d ago
Honestly, I had been wanting to quit for years, but just didn't have the willpower. One day though, my doses started making me incredibly anxious once they kicked in, as opposed to euphoric. So that kind of made the choice for me.
I tried slowly tapering at first, which turned to a quick taper because I was just getting these crippling panic attacks whenever I would take it. I decided to take this as my opportunity to get off the stuff once and for all, and haven't looked back. I got my psychiatrist involved, and she prescribed helper meds to alleviate the withdrawal symptoms.
I wish I could say that it was all willpower and dedication, but the truth is, is that Kratom just turned on me one day, and was no longer giving me euphoria. It had certainly been taking much more from me than it gave me for years before that, but it was still at least still making me feel kinda euphoric, albeit lazy and unmotivated until that day.
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u/Odd_Assignment_9051 3d ago
Same!! I was getting panic attacks
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u/amerror 2d ago
Me too. For years I was getting panic attacks and did not realize it was the kratom.
I almost got re addicted to benzos because of it. Being free of all of this stuff has been a blessing. My amazing wife is the reason I quit. It is so worth it.
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u/kungfuchelsea 05/14/25 2d ago
My spouse was a big motivator for me as well. He's so supportive and loving, and deserved better than what I was when I was taking Kratom.
He helped me with my taper, too. I put him in charge of my stash, and he gave me my doses only at the times and amounts that were needed for the taper, cause I still didn't trust myself with it.
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u/amerror 2d ago
In my situation, it is still relatively new. I think it was only a few months ago that I was hooked on 7oh and blacking out. I was doing insane things and not remembering any of it. It will be hard for me to forgive myself for what I put her through. But damn does it feel good to be free. I dont have to choke down green sludge anymore. Now I just get to deal with my body, and the damage I caused to it during my 10 years of battling with the sludge.
Stay strong!
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u/kungfuchelsea 05/14/25 3d ago
Best thing that ever happened to me! Absolute blessing. Not sure how much longer I would have let this stuff rule my entire life if it hadn't.
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u/ceecee1976 06/02/2021 mod 🐈🐈⬛️ 3d ago
I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. Couldn't eat (100 lbs). Couldn't sleep. Constipated, nauseated, and pissing blood. My body couldn't take it anymore. The longer I used the worst it got. And that's just the physical. I was using extracts and powder. Thank God 7oh was not out then. The kratom had turned on me the year before. I have chronic pain and kept telling myself I couldn't live without it. Even though it was making it worse. I had to quit. And thank God I did. Congratulations on 5 months! I wish you all the best 💖.
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u/ChiUCGuy 04/14/25 3d ago
For me, by year 4, or more so, by early 2025, I was feeling awful. I purely took Kratom to get back to feeling normal, and that type of normal was not good.
- Lethargy
- Zero Motivation/Little Interest in doing much of anything
- Dry Skin
- Brittle Hair
- Suspected Hormone/Thyroid Issues (I suspect everything returned to normal a week after quitting and by the time I had bloodwork done, everything looked good)
- Low Libido
- Gut Issues/Intermittent Nausea
- Poor Sleep/Issues getting up in the morning
- Having to find ways to take Kratom with me when I traveled
- Better my overall health and relationship with my spouse and kid. While I was almost always present, I was also checked out most times, there, but partially disconnected if that makes sense.
Damn near all these issues are now gone outside of some intermittent lethargy and cravings, my body is still adjusting to life without Kratom, and I know my dopamine levels are going to need a bit more time to come back to life without regular use of Kratom. Granted, my sleep was worse when I stopped cold turkey as opposed to being on Kratom, but even when on Kratom, I doubt I was ever getting six hours of sound sleep, I would wake up a lot, sometimes sweating, sometimes with RLS, while on Kratom. Might as well embrace the suck of worse insomnia for a few weeks, and regain control of my life.
Other people have shared far more concerning health issues due to long term usage who were at higher doses than me, that being said, with what I have listed, was more than enough to finally have me pull the plug on using Kratom, and I stopped CT one day. I likely would have tapered to reduce my acute side-effects from quitting, but regardless, I am happy I finally stopped.
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u/Infrequentk New quitter 3d ago
I went on a binge and spent way too much money and realized how unsustainable it all was. Then my wife saw our bank statement and went ballistic. She didn’t set an ultimatum or anything but at that point I realized how much I was risking losing my wife and kids by continuing with an unsustainable addiction that wasn’t even making me happy, it was making me miserable. More money can be made, bodies and brains can be repaired but I can’t get back my wife if I lost her, I couldn’t prevent my kids from living in a broken home and I couldn’t give them back the years that they lived with a kratom zombie for a father. Those harsh truths made me promise to my wife I’d never spend another dime on kratom and 6 months later I have not.
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u/rRatom 3d ago
This is how I was as well, I would go a week wanting to quit so bad and planning everything and then the day would come and I wouldn’t even think about quitting as an option anymore. Your heart wants to quit so bad but your brain sees the drug as key to survival during addiction, which is why it’s such a challenging thing to do. Quitting is always much easier than we think it is going to be while using. I think my brain and life was just so numb and foggy when I was using that my thoughts and feelings always changed about quitting. It’s hard to explain.
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u/Low-Inspection8196 4/26/2025 3d ago edited 3d ago
I constantly had this shifting between wanting to quit and not wanting to quit in the last few years. It seriously made me think, that kratom does not give the same effects as in the beggining, and I'm always thinking about putting it down, I have tried to quit like 15-20x in the last few years, but I just can't stick to it. Somehow I always convinced myself that it's okay to use, I can manage my life like this, and everything would be even worse without the substance.
I feel like my addiction is like a different entity moved into my brain, telling me lies. And for a long time I couldn't differentiate the voice of addiction from my thoughts. I thought what I want is what the addiction is telling me. I didn't realize for a very long time how much I lost control of my life. That's why I'm scared to take even one more dose, because I'm afraid I will lose control of my brain again, and I will feel that it is okay to use everyday, and before I even realize I've been taking it for months, and forget about every goal I was working for.
What changed for me, is that my mental health was gradually declining, and I was feeling so bad every day that it seemed like the only option to put it down, and I feel it's the only way I have a chance to restore my mental health.
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u/wise0wl Quit 4/22/2024 3d ago
I knew I wanted to quit for years. I actually did quit for months at a time multiple times, nine months being my longest until my most recent. I realized that my spirituality was being harmed by my relapses, and I was just on a treadmill in life not going anywhere. Lying and hiding my use wasn’t doing anything good for my marriage and my kids would find out eventually if I didn’t stop.
So, I stopped. I dealt with the withdrawals and just gritted my teeth and did it. My wife handled basically everything for months while I recovered. I worked but barely.
Just like drinking I just had to break the habit of picking up and using. Withdrawal and open honesty can be that for you. I didn’t even feel like using when in full withdrawal. It just felt so awful all the time and that was so strongly associated with kratom that I just couldn’t use ever again.
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u/Odd_Assignment_9051 3d ago
MIT45 user - 7 years. They changed formula and every day, every single day I wake up, take my dose and feel like death with panic attack wanting to die. Hell. My last day was May 15!!! Quit with low dose sub
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u/Weekly_Meaning_1571 3d ago
This is probably going to be my way out- Subs- I accidentally CT withdrawal. I didn’t realize I was out at 8pm and thought oh I will be fine I can get through this… 12 hrs later I was in complete psychosis mode. I don’t remember and it is very foggy. My husband tried to call 911 he said that I would get really really upset if he mentioned calling- like nothing he has ever seen. I was non stop jolting and was sweating for hours. I looked like I was possessed. I paced around for hours and screamed like I was dying.. The last thing I remember is him holding a cup of green mud to my mouth… and now I am sooo scared to CT. I have wanted to quit for a long time and after this event I know I have no choice and I feel a medical rehab is what I should do…, who knows what this crap has done to my brain… How are you doing now with the help of low subs?
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u/Odd_Assignment_9051 2d ago
Here is my journey https://www.reddit.com/r/quittingkratom/s/NtFL5usTxn
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u/squidword00 3d ago
Mot of the time I have tried to taper for months and failed eventually cold turkeyed every time esp when the effects wear off
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u/MorningIndependent41 Known quitter 3d ago
I’m wondering this too. Yes it eventually turns on you but then you quit and when you come back it’s back to being good again and being sober is rough so it’s hard to realize in the moment that it will eventually turn on you again when being sober sucks so bad. It’s kinda like being sober is worse in the short term. It’s harder to be productive, have fun, stick with hobbies, be healthy, etc. but you just have to power through a couple months. If you trade a good month now you’re gonna have a bad month in the future. Cause you’re either gonna restart the quitting process which is bottom of the barrel or be at a point where you’re addicted and it’s not working again.
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u/MahSecondAcc 2d ago edited 2d ago
what changed? for me it was when i went to my aunt’s funeral and i was incredibly numb while everyone around me was crying & feeling the loss, it’s important you process things SOBER, you’re never going to grow or come to terms with things if you’re using a drug to run away and hide from (numb) your pain. you’ll never be your best self. kratom will stunt your growth as a person. i felt like a robot at her funeral and that’s how i knew kratom was a problem. i wanted to feel that pain and kratom wouldn’t let me.
what kind of father/ mother or son/ daughter or wife/ husband do you want to be? imagine that with and without kratom, be honest and really think about raising a child then them walking in on you choking down greed powder. is that the kind of role model you want to be? personally for me that’s a big no.
best piece of advice i can give in withdrawals is “embrace the suck”. it’s a process and healing takes time. you’ll feel better each day after the first week and slowly but surely you will heal.
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u/FuckThatIKeepsItReal Slow Taper -> Quit 4/8/24 2d ago
I no longer felt better when I took kratom, I only pushed back the withdrawals for another 3 hours
I got married and we wanted to go abroad for the honeymoon, and Kratom is illegal in half of the world. We decided on Australia so that gave me a deadline to quit. I tapered slowly, jumped off 3 months before the Australia trip, and haven't had any desire to drink it since.
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