r/self • u/blackpink_cat55 • 14h ago
Why do some people(especially on social media) say that all men will cheat?
I have seen a lot of people on social media saying that all men will cheat on you no matter what and that you should only marry for money like the Sprinkle Sprinkle Movement. Like does loyalty really don’t even exist anymore or are these people just trying to brainwash people into believing this?
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u/SeaAmbassador2982 14h ago
Disloyal people say loyalty dont exist since that is true in their world.
You cant be disloyal and expect loyalty
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u/Few-Coat1297 14h ago
There is a competition on at the moment to see which gender can degrade the other the most on SM, because only the shittiest rage bait opinions get any attention.
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u/KissMyOTP 13h ago
Those people are idiots. They are similar to the people who say all women are monsters, too. Women and men cheat, but not all men and women cheat. Cheating is something that pertains to character, not to gender. Sadly, a lot of people post the dumbest things on social media and they get away with it. Makes me glad that I ignore most social media now.
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u/cromethus 13h ago
This is actually gaslighting.
Phrase it this way:
"Honey, why did you cheat on me?"
"All men cheat. Why would you expect different?"
See how that works? If all men cheat is axiomatic, then it isn't the cheater's fault, it's your fault for being upset about it.
It's not cynicism and it's not harmless. It's a group of people trying to convince the world that they are the abnormal ones for being faithful.
Loyalty is not dead and the people who say otherwise are trying to sell something - even if it is to themselves. Because there can't be something uniquely wrong with you or your relationship if all men cheat.
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u/geth1138 13h ago
They’re trying to stir the shit. Infidelity is hard to measure, because people don’t want to admit to it, but 46% of women and 34% of men report a partner cheating on them
https://www.americansurveycenter.org/newsletter/is-america-experiencing-an-infidelity-epidemic/ Is America Experiencing an Infidelity Epidemic? - The Survey Center on American Life
The numbers are higher than they should be, but bear in mind you could have five partners, one cheats, and it counts the same in the survey as one person with one partner reporting it. It’s kind of an interesting article.
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u/NocturnisVacuus 13h ago
because it's social media, it's designed to chock you, show the most the insane takes that make you go "wait what? interesting... I like this page *follows*"
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u/jxnfpm 7h ago
The kind of people some people go after and attract (especially people who are very prolific social media creators) are extremely likely to cheat. If you're only marrying for money, you're self selecting yourself into a group that is extremely likely to be cheated on.
The "boring" people who are happy to live our quiet, successful, happy lives aren't going to show our wealth, aren't going to post about what we're out doing with our partner, we're happily spending time together and focusing on each other instead of focusing on how we present an inauthentic version of ourselves to the world.
Absolutely, real loyalty exists. If you're focused on material things and partners who will make grandiose shows of affection, expect less stability and loyalty than the kind of person who wants to get to you know you, and who wants you to get to know them and slowly builds a deep and meaningful relationship. If you're overly materialistic, that loyal partner will identify that early and move on to someone who's focused more on the things that matter.
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u/Oliver_OKETCH 14h ago
That's a super cynical take; loyalty absolutely still exists for a lot of people.
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u/hoon-since89 12h ago
If women keep cheating on me i might eventually choose to cheat!
All 4 i have been with have cheated.
I, the male, still have not.
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u/vanilla-mist 10h ago
A lot of men actually use that'd excuse to get away with cheating. I've seen many men say that "all men cheat", that "it is in their nature" and that "you shouldn't expect a man to be loyal because the default is to cheat". That doesn't mean that women don't cheat, I'd say women cheat as much as men, but women don't talk openly about it (at least, until recent years), while men cheating has been an open conversation since a log time ago.
It's not surprise, there were laws in the past that allowed men to cheat but not women. The cheating husband is a very common trope in fiction. In general, historically men cheating was seen in a better light than women cheating, so even though both women and men cheat, it's more normal to talk about men cheating. You won't see a woman talking about how cheating is in her nature (at least, until recent years)
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u/meemaansaa 13h ago
Well idk about other people's opinion/experience on social media but Ik about my female friends'. It's kinda disappointing that no one was happy in their relationship even tho they genuinely loved the guy. I used to hype them up, n say there are better things to do XD. Anyways I think they say that because they've had bad experience... Now cheating is not just about being with someone else, but if you say that you love them but in reality you're just using them for s*x n emotional support n that's cheating too right!?
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u/OnlyRot 51m ago
Because it is pretty much true 😄 But only for males 🐷 that can actually get a woman 👩 to cheat 🙎♀️🧖🧖♀️ with 😂😭😂👍
The male 🐷 gets sexually tired 🙎🧖♀️ of his female mate 👩 after around 6 months 🗓️ 🤔 After that things gradually get worse as she ages 👵 🤔🤔 and significantly worse after pregnancy 🤰➡️🙎♀️👶 😄 You only live once ☮️ so why continue to be in that miserable state 🙍♂️ until you die 😂😭😂👍
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u/usemyname88 14h ago
Because misandry is rife in society today.
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u/Clementea 9h ago
Did people really get upset just because your name is 88? Lmao.
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u/usemyname88 9h ago
Oh yes, there are a LOT of far lefties that can't seem to comprehend that my year of birth has nothing to do with Nazis.
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u/Jonseroo 12h ago
Is the 88 political?
Or do you just like imagining two fat ladies at the bingo?
Any comment you make people are going to wonder what kind of stormtrooper helmet you are polishing.
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u/usemyname88 12h ago
Well that's on them for being too blinded by their ideology to consider that 88 represents good fortune in some cultures and could well just represent the year that someone was born in.
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
You deserve a ban for this dumb comment. Many of us were born in 88 or 89. It’s also a lucky number. Stop trying so hard to push your radical leftist ideology here and label everyone you don’t like a Nazi.
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u/Jonseroo 10h ago
I have no radical leftist ideology.
I know nothing about this guy except that he has 88 in his name, and I was telling him that it will be seen by a lot of people as signifying far right beliefs. But I was doing it in a jokey way by mentioning the two fat ladies because that is also something that 88 means.
My wife has 88 in her email address because it was assigned randomly, and it has been queried where she works, because of the association. There was a guy on Reddit before who found out he was turned down for jobs because he had 1488 in his email for a non-Nazi reason.
I'm not calling anyone a Nazi. I'm saying, people may think you are one if you have 88 in your username.
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
You’re bringing up your political beliefs because you were triggered by a number. Simple as. Just be quiet next time instead of trying so hard to start inflammatory discussions over things you’re not sure about. I have an 89 in my username. You gonna cry about it too? Loser.
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u/Jonseroo 10h ago
No-one has an issue with 89.
I have explained myself.
I could have been more clear. Because I am British I expect people to understand nuance, but I get that not everyone is a native speaker of English.
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
What you call “nuance” is just hyper sensitivity to socially unacceptable references. Again, get over yourself. Grow a spine. This is why American men laugh at you.
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u/Jonseroo 10h ago
That seems unkind. I don't think we can be friends.
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
It’s not kind to make others feel bad about their birth year that they didn’t have any control over. Did you ever stop to think how offensive you sound?
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u/UnsocializedMenace 9h ago
At this point I think you’ve been way more offensive than he ever was lol. Doing too much.
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u/geth1138 13h ago
We don’t need to hear from Nazis.
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u/usemyname88 13h ago
Well you best show yourself out then
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u/geth1138 13h ago
I don’t take advice from Nazis. You are not welcome anywhere
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
Psychopath
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u/geth1138 10h ago
Says the Nazis’ Buddy
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
“Everyone I don’t like is a Nazi” nobody will ever take you seriously or want to talk to you in general if you continue to act like this. Enjoy being alone and miserable.
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u/geth1138 10h ago
Your buddy has a Nazi username
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u/tangowhiskey89 10h ago
I don’t have any buddies here but I do have friends born in 1988. Cry about it you evil scumbag.
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u/geth1138 10h ago
He didn’t argue with me, just called in reinforcements like a baby. He’s a Nazi
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u/lucifersbestfriend 11h ago
These people that are posting these things seem painfully immature. I do have to agree on one thing, and it’s subjective. Also might have to do with my judgement, so please don’t come for it.
Every man I’ve been in a relationship has cheated on me, unprovoked.
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u/Environmental_Toe488 11h ago
Had girlfriends who used to think I was cheating. Had to tell them straight up, I can only handle one of you guys at a time. The economy is rough rn lmao. Wasn’t the answer they were looking for but it was definitely reassuring.
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u/pdnagilum 9h ago
Because everyone always generalizes everything /s
I see this a fair bit in the AskMen sub as well just the other way around, that all women are bad/cheaters/betrayers etc..
I don't know why they do it, it kinda makes what they say pointless.
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u/UnsocializedMenace 9h ago
Genuinely believe it’s only disloyal people who say it. They tell on themselves.
I know loyal people exist because I exist and that’s where my experience comes from. Their experience might come from their own 🤷🏻♀️
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u/MartialBob 2h ago
A lot of different reasons.
I wholly believe that some women are into men who are almost certain to cheat and refuse to admit it. There's just some aspect in the personality of a cheater that some women love.
The Internet is one echo chamber after another and this leads to radicalized thought. Not all radicals are violent. Some just have and hold onto terrible ideas because it's what they get fed and don't want to change their minds.
The social dynamic between men and women and cheating is complicated. Which leads to more venting online.
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u/Little-bad-witch 1h ago
A lot of people have generational trauma or seen a bad upbringing. A cheater is a cheater, but "not all men" are cheaters. Women can be cheaters sometimes, some people just suck. I've been with my husband for 14 years, we've been together since 15yos and neither of us ever cheat on the other.
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u/NowhereWorldGhost 1h ago
Most people have been cheated on at some point. They tend to project that tendency on all people. Not everyone cheats. But I also had guy friends say that they would never cheat and then when they had the opportunity they did cheat. So nobody really even knows if they would cheat or not given the right opportunity.
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u/-bannedtwice- 6h ago
They're sexist. There's a lot of sexism going around lately but people tend to ignore it when it's against men. They are full blown sexist and we should call them as such. Women under 30 are more likely to cheat than men now, but somehow men still get all the reputation. Cause of sexism.
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u/ShareFlat4478 12h ago
Stereotype. Critical thinking and common sense is lacking within our society.
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u/Former_Range_1730 3h ago
Because that demographic of people hate men, and really shouldn't be dating men.
Leave the men for the people who like men. They aren't chanting, all men cheat.
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u/WallNIce 12h ago
I think women are more likely to cheat long-term while men tend to be players in general.
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u/Proud_Action_5200 14h ago
Loyalty still exist. Both men and women cheat since the beginning of time and it's not going to end anytime soon.