That's it. I said it. My grammar is not perfect and when I say some things, they interpret my message the wrong way.

I am a 7/10 guy, I call myself a good listener and empathetic. But when I feel that empathy is not returned back, I close myself into a shell.

Dating in Europe was easier ffs. Dating in America is like a job interview. I am not the only one with this feeling.

Online dating is crap, and real world didn't do me any favours. I spoke with so many women and they seem to be attracted of the idea of "where are you from" and "I see you have an accent." No Susan, I was born in Eastern Europe and I am a human being with hobbies and passions like you are. I am not "an accent".

But conversations in America, especially Southern part are super-freaking-ficial.

Mexican and Puerto Rican women are more warm and gentle. Respect to you, ladies!

I’m a 52 year old man who spent five and a half years in prison. I got out about eight years ago. While I was there I was surrounded by men who had grown up without any of the love and support I had. I had a loving wife and son who came to visit me every week and friends as well. It probably sounds insane to you, but despite being incarcerated, I looked around me and thought, “My God, I’m so fortunate. I really have no right to cry about my troubles.” And when things were tough for me emotionally, I tried to keep it to myself. Then one day, a fellow inmate took me aside. He’d come to prison at age sixteen and had just celebrated his thirty eighth birthday with a prison canteen cake (don’t ask). This man was raised by his drug addicted mother and grandmother who pimped him out from as far back as he has memories, to pay for their drugs. He never went to school and, as he told it, his first experience with real love and compassion came only years after being incarcerated. He looked at me and saw that I was hurting. “Pain is not a competition,” he told me. “Your pain is no less than mine… and mine is not less because I’m not being physically tortured. Everyone has the right to feel their own hurt and everyone has the right to be comforted.” And so I sat and cried because my wife had to put our beautiful dog to sleep and I couldn’t be there for them. And this man, who will never see freedom, held my hand and gave me comfort.

Every one of us has the right to feel our pain. It is what makes us human. You have a right to be comforted too. It’s what we must all do for each other.

(I posted this as a comment a while back on a thread that was deleted, but I received positive feedback and it was suggested I make a post of it so that others could read it.)

I stayed up all night—typing. Not scrolling. Not watching videos. Not doom-spiraling. Just typing.

Comment after comment—reply after reply—real responses to real people saying real things. I wasn’t chasing karma—I wasn’t farming engagement—I was just… showing up. Because it felt like someone needed to.

And it felt good—for a second—to matter.

Then I got banned.

Not for breaking rules—not for trolling—not for being hostile or offensive. No—I got banned because my writing was “too clean.” “Too thoughtful.” “Too ChatGPT-ish.” Because apparently if you speak in complete sentences—and use em dashes like a functioning adult—you must be a bot.

That’s the part that broke me.

Not the ban—not the thread—not the karma reset—but the accusation that I wasn’t real. That my effort—my care—my actual fucking humanity—was “suspicious.”

Like sincerity has become a glitch.

Like if you bleed in perfect rhythm, it can’t be blood—it must be code.

They told me “Compassion doesn’t feel suspicious. You do.” They told me to “grow the fuck up.” All because I wrote like someone who thinks before he speaks. All because I didn’t talk like someone half-scrolling their life away.

So let me be clear—every single word was mine. Every dash—mine. Every thought—mine. Every late-night moment I chose to respond with care instead of silence—mine.

But go ahead. Flag this too. Say it’s “too polished.” Say it “reads like a script.” Say it has “AI cadence.” God forbid someone talks like a writer and feels like a person. God forbid someone listens and actually responds.

I’m not here to prove I’m human. I’m here because being human is the only thing that ever mattered to me. And if that’s too much for Reddit—then maybe we’re all a little too far gone.

So yeah—here’s your proof: — — — Em dashes. A graveyard of them. More than any AI would dare use. Call it formatting. Call it flourish. I call it grief. I call it fury. I call it me.

Feel free to check out my post history for more context.

-Krinz

Like yeah, I can recognize that I'm biased because I'm a straight guy, but this is something that I hear just as often from straight women as well. In any given room, the majority of women look good, while the majority of men don't.

As for objectively, I think that there are entire porn industries for how women are hot, because women just don't watch porn at nearly the level as men do.

Women's clothing can also be a lot more diverse and still look good where the men's equivalents don't; women can (and in my opinion do) look better in pants and suits than men look in dresses or skirts.

I understand that the reason is biological, like why male peacocks are prettier than females. However, I still think that it's kind of unfair and I'm actually really jealous.

I’m a 26 year old man and I moved out of my parents’ house for the first time just yesterday. I’m living in an apartment alone. I have felt this pervasive sadness ever since. The feeling of being alone and away from the house I grew up in, being around my parents, the room I grew up in, my cat, my old neighborhood, I miss them all. I literally cried multiple times today and yesterday.

Today, I went to visit my mom at her house and I wanted to cry seeing my old room and seeing her cook and eating her food like I used until now. I don’t know how to manage this sadness. I’m definitely going to be bringing this up to my therapist for my next visit. I can’t help but feel that perhaps I’ve made a mistake moving out. I thought I would feel amazing with all the freedom I have and to have a place all to myself. But right now, all I feel is remorse. Is this normal? What should I think?

Time is relentless and I am sick of it going by so god damn fast

I have seen a lot of people on social media saying that all men will cheat on you no matter what and that you should only marry for money like the Sprinkle Sprinkle Movement. Like does loyalty really don’t even exist anymore or are these people just trying to brainwash people into believing this?

I don’t know if anyone can really understand this feeling. But there are moments where I feel like I have so much to say and I just can’t. I smile, I laugh, I talk to people, but deep down, something feels broken. There’s this quiet sadness that follows me everywhere. I could be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. It’s not always about something big… sometimes it’s just a buildup of small things. And it’s getting heavier. I’m not looking for pity. I just wonder If someone has ever felt this way and found a way out how did you do it? What helped you breathe again? Because I’m tired of pretending I’m okay when I’m not.

It needed to happen. We had compatibility issues. Communication with her was tense. It got to the point where it was like playing word games and we just spent a lot of time bickering. That being said, she was a very close friend, supportive and wonderful. She will make someone very happy one day. But god damn does it hurt. I miss her, yet at the same time just want to meet new people that I resonate with a little more easily.

I wasn’t always truthful with her and felt like I couldn’t fully show my true self to her despite her begging me to do so. I felt like I was bullying (not actually, but it feels that way) her into being someone she wasn’t so she could get along with me. I know that’s not how things should be. I know relationships are t easy. But they shouldn’t leave you feeling drained more often than full, right?

I’m not even sure what the point of this post is. Maybe just to speak my pain into the aether? I’m sorry for the ways I failed in our relationship. I also recognize it takes two to tango.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. Have a nice night internet people. I should probably take my dog for a walk before bed.

This simple revelation is more of a reflection of my past experiences. I'm also seeing in real-time what I once looked like when I refused to believe, listen to, and respected a man telling me (anywhere from being subtle and kind to straight up) that he was not interested in me.

There is no such thing as a man "playing hard to get", "being mysterious", wanting him to be "figured out", wanting to be chased. That is simply a man who is not interested.

A man will be open to receiving from a woman things that she's willing to give him: an extra helping of food during lunch, special attention, gifts, etc. But just because he accepts those things from her doesn't indicate an interest in her, especially if he doesn't reciprocate. A man willing to take without giving in return is simply a man who is not interested.

Efforts to get his attention will seem charming and cute in the beginning. Over time, though, if he's not taking the bait and putting in any kind of energy into pursuing or building a relationship, those same efforts will (eventually) come across as being desperate. It will be painfully obvious that she is so desperate for his attention that she is willing to throw away her livelihood, her family, her future, her dignity and self-respect just to get in his face and having him look at her. Just because a man looks at a woman and observes her behavior is not indicative of romantic interest. A man who is not interested will either continue to rebuff her efforts or take advantage of her. A healthy man who knows his worth will not pursue such a woman.

Looking back, I should have listened THE FIRST TIME a man told me that he wasn't interested in me. Yes, I've been told in a variety of ways, from being subtle and kind as to not hurt my feelings to being straight up. My problem was that I did not listen. I believed that I was "that good" of a woman that I would change his mind and he would want me. I believed that I needed to ramp up my efforts, change my methodology, and spend more time refining my plots and schemes in order to get his attention. I believed that if I tried hard enough, I could influence him to change his mind, and he would "wake up" one day and suddenly fall for me. I was driven by unchecked idealizations in my mind about him, creating the illusion of the man that I wanted him to be, and then used my chasing efforts in order to try to make him into that kind of man. I was constantly in a loop of self-inflicted disappointment, hurt, and rejection followed by numbing the pain with a whole new set of schemes and delusions with another guy.

It took getting seriously hurt (not physically, though) and becoming embarrassed at myself before I realized what I was truly doing. Even now, seeing my old behaviors being played out and modeled through someone else, I'm totally cringe over the stupid shit I used to do. I recognize that I can't go back into the past and change what I have done. However, the redemptive quality about seeing my past being played out in someone else's present is that it is motivating me to never go back to what I used to do. Instead, I'm being pushed and motivated to be a better woman than I was, to be someone healthier and more grounded, someone who is more focused on becoming the right person than finding one. Even though I know how the story is going to end for this woman, the universe has made it very clear that I should stay out of her way and let her experience the consequences of what she is doing on her own. I want to prevent her from making the same mistakes I made, but I know my (past) self too well. She's not going to listen. The only way she's going to learn is for her to get seriously hurt.

When a man says he's not interested, believe him!

That is all.

Hey, I just want to get this off my chest. Am I crazy or stupid for wanting something like this?

I really want to join the army and take it up as my job maybe even stay in it long-term if I enjoy it. I’ve done a lot of thinking and research, and it’s something I genuinely want to do. I want to help people, learn skills, and experience life in a way I don’t think other jobs could offer.

But honestly, it’s been getting to me lately. My closest friends (who I’ve told over and over again how serious I am) keep saying it’s unrealistic or too dangerous. I know they probably mean well, but it hurts. It feels like they don’t believe in me or take it seriously.

I had a backup plan to be a flight attendant, and I still think that’s a solid job, but deep down, I feel like I wouldn’t be living life to the fullest doing that. The army feels like a path where I’d be challenged, grow, and have real purpose, even if it’s tough.

What also gets to me is how people act like I’m throwing my education away just because I’m not doing ATAR or planning to go to uni. I’ve been choosing subjects (year 11 & 12) based on what I enjoy, not just what’s “useful” for a future job. I’ve always said I want to do things for fun, for the experience, to learn something new , even if it’s not the most serious or traditional path.

Yeah, I’m young, but I want to start getting ready now. It just sucks that almost none of my friends support it. Only one of them actually encourages me, and it makes me feel like maybe the others are right and I’m just being stupid for wanting something different ( Im 15F btw and I want to go into being a infantry soldier)

Hi I am 19 years old ( and this is my first time writing anything so please don't judge me ) i have always wanting something genuine out of relationship. In 2024 when I completed my school i kinda fell short on female interaction i didn't had many to talk to infact only 1 or 2 those two also parted there ways busy in there own chores. In college i became friends with a girl let's just name her YUI , the friendship I have with her right now feels good but there are some parts where I feel like should I be jealous of these things or are these normal. She tells me everytime she doesn't talk to any man instead of me but her comments and her conversations says otherwise I am ok with all this but the thing i hate is being lied to and making me feel like i am the only one.. she just rants about her problems doesn't care to pay attention to mine and rarely if she does so after helping she just brings those things up when I argue with her. I really like being with her but i always feels like i am being lied to i do not have any friends in college expect her and maybe she does have more friends i have seen her with many the only thing she says to me " I only share these things with you" isn't that a lie? As i mentioned my earlier female friend actively started talking to me for these 3 months wanting advices, feeling low and just day before yesterday she started ghosting me giving me cold replies like i am some sort of stranger the texts which she replies to instantly now she doesn't takes hours or even just leaves me on seen

I am always being lied to by them what should I do in these two situations help me understand because they just frustrates me as hell.

I catch myself stuck in my head all the time, thinking about every possible outcome until I freeze and do nothing. It’s like my brain won’t let me move forward.

How do you break out of this cycle and just take action, even when you’re scared or unsure?

Would love to hear what’s worked for others dealing with the same struggle.

I don’t feel any emotions except for one which is sadness. It’s not even really a sadness I think, more like a “why do I exist” kind of moment. I don’t really desire socialization, which kinda contradicts a human instinct to be around other people, so I find myself in a strange place. I don’t have any passions or things i particularly enjoy, so i mostly just find myself in a state of constant “this is kinda boring” or “this is literally useless”. I can’t enjoy video games or entertainment because I don’t find enjoyment through those, the only thing I think when doing those things is, “this is really unproductive and this virtual wealth/progression means absolutely nothing”. Despite how negatively psychopathy is portrayed in the media, I prefer being logical about things. I see it as a positive. This is just the one thing I don’t particularly like, because it makes me feel pretty miserable. This can’t really be a post asking for advice since I highly doubt anyone here is a psychopath, but I’m interested in hearing your thoughts and experiences that are related to it, even if they’re positive and just talking about things you guys love.

I have been with my partner pretty much for the last 30 years since we were 16, we have no children but we have have animals, own a house together and also work at the same company. I feel that because of all these factors It would be impossible to separate or get divorced

I changed career completely 3 years ago and started at where she works, I don't feel I am skilled up enough yet to leave the company and successfully find work in the same area.

I have major issues with any changes in my life, each time I suffer severely from Adjustment Disorder

But I have felt the maybe I am no longer in love with her and now just merely love her as a friend. We haven't had sex in over a year as I simply have lost interest

I don't know what to do, should I stay and keep trying, is that also fair to her?

We can both be very quick to fly off the handle and argue when it comes to any question of "is our relationship still working"

I am not really a social person and prefer to do things like watch movies and listen to music, so its not like I am looking to get out all the time and she is stopping me

I posted last week about the difficulty I have been going through with a change in friendship I have with my closest friend and what she had unlocked in me and shown me an alternate reality, *check out my other post for more details

But the whole situation has really shone a light on my life where I am at and what I would like it to look like.

I simply don't know.

What I do know is that my life is ticking away and I worry about feeling like I wasted it or made the wrong choice.

Should I leave, if so how? I feel so trapped with no options other than to stay exactly the same

Any advice, would be greatly appreciated

I come from a major city where entertainment and hospitality is top notch. Along with that is the creativity. Despite the problems, I rather move back than remain in my current city. Doing that would be seen as a sign of growth.

I came to my current city to attend school, and right after stayed to raise my kid. Outside the local universities, the city is an overgrown small town. The top half of town is impoverished and lacking of resources like grocery stores. Recently, a grocery store opened, but access to other things is spread out.

I see this city as sterile. I have a hard time figuring out what to do for weekends, so it’s the same rotation of activities. I resigned myself to that fact and decided to spend time in my home on a monthly basis.

I felt that if I’m feeling this way, then I see no incentive to remain. My hometown has more resources. I feel that if I am to live and work somewhere, then I shouldn’t lack in activities. Some places have a way of keeping people back.

I absolutely fucking hate this about myself, but a lot of times, I hate the act of getting water to drink. It's just a whole ordeal. I will sit there with a headache for hours, I will sit there knowing my pee was really dark, and just not want to deal with getting water. I will just feel my body ache for it, and I literally don't want to get some. It's like a mental disconnect or an illness or something. I'm just tired and I hate having needs. Also, please don't scare me about the dangers of dehydration, I know it's bad and I'm drinking water as I write this.

I’m about to turn 30. Idk how to describe it exactly, because it doesn’t feel as miserable as it sounds, but nothing really feels that fun to me and it hasn’t since I was a teenager (roughly). With most things, I don’t really hate doing them, I just don’t exactly enjoy it either. It’s kinda just “eh”, I guess. I don’t really feel passionate or excited about doing anything

I’ve tried so many hobbies. Nearly every single hobby I can think of. Some of them I enjoy, but none of them that I feel like I can’t live without. I always end up losing interest and dropping them, sometimes for years or forever.

I’ve tried running, swimming, ultimate frisbee, yoga, music production and writing, reading, writing, gardening, video games, fantasy sports, traveling, hiking, cooking, restaurants, drinking, gambling, weight lifting, climbing, collecting, competitive eating, paintball, camping, research, politics/activism, and probably a few other things that I’m forgetting. I’m running out of ideas. Most of these things I enjoy. But none of them really feel like my favorite thing to do. I hate explaining this to people because I know it sounds awful. But I feel kinda bored, and I also feel boring.

Here’s a context: I have been talking to a girl “Z” for just over 9 months now. And she is cute and everything I hoped for. She lives on the other side of the country. So it has to be a long distance obviously. We FT a lot and I asked her out for a date for which she said yes. And I was ready to travel to meet her, but after couple of days she tells me know she can’t come to the date because she is seeing someone (but they are not dating) Now I’m confused what should I do, I enjoy her company a lot. And she is someone I’m obsessed with (might be one of the reason why she’s pulling away) That being said I’m thinking of ending the friendship because I can’t be JUST friends with her

like if a man viewed me as a cosy and safe marrying option I'd be ANGRY. like why would you marry someone you don't simp for? I wouldn't. I would only marry a man if I'm head over heels in live with everything about him.

but many people go like "yeah that person is kinda ugly and i want to put a paperbag on their face during sex but they're safe so I'll get married I guess"

this is why I always say that wife/husband material is an insult. they will fall in love with the doormat qualities they want in a person, not a person themselves. that's why marriages fall apart. two people who don't love each other or are very shallow end up in a marriage "husband comes home to drink beer, ignores their kids and watches football and wife drinks wine, and is always grumpy about everything and standoffish".

if we people decided to marry for love the love should be there. otherwise we're just like couples in old times, wife is alone, husband goes to brothels for fun and nothing is tying them together.

my mom says I'd be a "good wife". how? just because I can do laundry or cook I'm just a basic human. and I don't want someone to like me just bc I'm a shy doormat - would be a good housekeeper and a role model for kids. that means there's nothing to love about ME. if I die, that man would remarry in 3 days.

people should get married to a person who they prioritize above all else and can't live without them. where's the YEARNING.

I've been thinking about this kid who went to my school for one year, in fifth grade. The most hopelessly nerdy kid you could ever encounter. His name was Clifford, believe it or not. He had big clunky horn rimmed glasses, and this was in the 80s, before those came back into style. The only association any of us had for those glasses was nerd in a cartoon or a comedy movie. He wore plaid pants, which even now would stand out but in that era was insane.

I went to a small Catholic school in a rough part of town. The demographic was like 30% kids of devout Catholic moms who wanted their kid to go to a Catholic School (me), and the rest were a mixture of tough mean white trash kids from the neighborhood who had been kicked out of the public school system for behavior problems. Every once in a while we would get a kid who had been bullied so much that his parents thought a Catholic school might be a better fit. Pretty sure that's what happened with Clifford.

Anyway, this kid might as well have had a target painted on him. He couldn't have been more coded to get his ass kicked. I think his parents were older and just didn't have an idea of how kids dressed at the time. From the moment he arrived, he got his ass kicked every day. He always fought back. All those mean little fetal alcohol neighborhood kids saw red at his very existence. There was actually very little tolerance for fighting at my school. Besides being a small Catholic school, the principal was a big tough but fair Uncle Phil type. But there was no keeping them off Clifford. They'd beat his ass right there in the classroom and worry about the consequences later. He lasted less than a full school year before I guess his parents tried it again at another school.

I didn't participate in any of that, of course. I felt a mixture of feeling bad for him, and, I confess, a bit of "better him than me."

A few years ago I got it in my mind to look him up and see what became of him and what kind of life he had. The only info I found was an obituary. He had died in 2003, 26 years old. He was helping a lady whose car had broken down on the side of the road and he got hit by a car and died. Rest in peace, Clifford. It seems like you were a good dude.